Just hoping I find someone with similar issues to me that can relate !! Tmi incoming.
Fed up just fed up with shitty sex, pelvic floor playing up.. I've just turned 33 been with DP since I was 28. Had great sex no issues whatsoever for a good few months then suddenly noticed I couldn't grip him properly, especially when I was ontop I noticed it more. I had my first DD in 2013 when I was 21 and snapped back into shape pretty quickly no issues with pelvic floor following her birth, at this point she was 7 years old so why then? Ever since this started happening i can't say I've enjoyed sex once and it's caused huge anxiety I try to avoid it and my libido just completely disappeared. I'd find sometimes I'd be too tight on entry where sex felt painful to start with or be completely loose where I can't even feel him. (Dd is a good size) I have told him to get off me many many times and just cried.
I gave birth to our second DD in 2022, everything seemed to go back to normal for a few months following, but again slipped back to the same shit again!
Recently I went on the combined contraceptive pill for a couple of months after having UID out , during that time I seemed to go back to being tight (normal) again and sensitive down there everything was pleasurable DP noticed the difference and we had amazing sex!!! I really felt connected to him again. Unfortunately had to come off the pill due to having anxiety and terrible mood swings. Vagina went back to being wide again and shit sex AGAIN. I have tried kegels was using the squeezy app religiously for a few months didn't really notice alot of difference. I have got the kegel8 ultra and doesn't seem to grab my muscles properly, also with a toddler that is constantly on the go and refuses to go to sleep quite often I am normally too knackered to find the time to use. I've bought kegel weights but worried as I don't know what's causing this to happen I might do more damage?
Last night for the first time in a long long time I initiated sex. I really felt 'in the moment' only when he put it in I couldn't feel him inside. Bless him he was so pleased and excited but it was such a huge disappointment for me I just lay there in sadness and frustration. DP has been really supportive but he doesn't know what to say other than 'it's okay I still enjoy it babe' its not his fault, but I want too as well. It's really wrecking my self esteem and our relationship because I put walls up. I don't know what to say to the doctors I've tried mentioning before in the past but they don't seem to see an issue in anything I say.
Perhaps I am lacking estrogen? Perhaps my pelvic floor is just weak although i never have issues with leaking or holding onto wee? I don't know what to do or where to turn but I am one fkin fed up mum. At 33 is my sex life really over?