To have or not have this bloody operation

[whattodoooooooooooooo]

I know - you aren't doctors etc etc.

For about 5 years I had horrifically painful periods. The NHS did not/could not care so, 4years ago, I paid my £120 and saw a private specialist. She said I needed a laparoscopy. I went back on the waiting list for the NHS.

3 years later, I was called up twice for the surgery. Both times sorted work out/child care and both ops were cancelled the evening before.

I've had a phone call today and have been told my op is in a months time.

The problem is this: for the last 7 months, my periods seemed to magically cure themselves. Zero or totally manageable pain. I was completely baffled but fucking thankful. For the last 2 months though, the pain has been back. Along with the faintness, sickness etc.

I feel like I should cancel the op. I don't want it; I'm terrified. I'm not even sure if it's endo? I've had so many scans etc and every test is clear. I know that's usual and a laparoscopy is the only way to know for sure.

I've got a holiday booked in the uk a week after the op. I've got a new job. This is terrible timing. What if they do it and find fuck all wrong with me? What if I've wasted everyone's time? What if my horrifically painful periods are completely bloody normal?

I absolutely would. If they find nothing then they will need to investigate further as to why you're in so much pain. You've not wasted anyone's time.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

But my experience tells me they won't do any more tests. I had to fight tooth and nail to get anyone to listen. I had to pay for the privilege. If they diagnose me, they will just put me back on the same tablets. Which did help. And if I don't have it, they will take years to investigate further. I'm nearly 40, I'm wondering if I'm perimenopausal and that's why the symptoms improved some months. But I've had investigators for that too and everything comes back clear.

I just don't have the energy for this after all this time.

I understand, I've had a similar situation with chronic illness. Personally I'd worry that if you don't do it and the pain comes back you're back to square one. It might not help at all but it might be the end of your pain.

Is there someone in the surgical team you could chat it over with? I had to push really hard for a second phone call but it did put my fears at rest (different op).

The problem is I have so little fight in me. I can absolutely check the letter and ask to be phoned I guess. Because talking it over with anyone other than the expert is probably a waste of time. I'm so angry so many years have gone past.

Yes - totally get it about being back at square one. But I feel like it won't solve anything anyway. Even if they cut it out, it will come back. It's incurable.

I would have the operation.

I would postpone rather than cancel.

Do not cancel the op.

Long standing painful periods are not normal and you should not put up with it. Do not continue to talk yourself out of having this op. Something is causing this pain and it is certainly on your interests to find out why.

I would ask them to talk to you about the findings when you are back on the ward and fully compis mentis and not whilst you are in the recovery room . It’s poor practice on the part of the hospital.

My extensive endo deposits were lasered out laparoscopically and its not caused me problems re pain since.

If u have pain just couple of days just leave it be... i had laparoscopy but cause i have pain everyday..and still nothing was found..the only good thing is they will investigate further and maybe find what hurts one day.. but nhs is so fast..... one day.... otherwise surgery was pointless didnt solve nothing at all for me

Thanks all, I've not cancelled but I have postponed the op. I'm going to go back to my GP and get the tablets I used to be on in case this is a new round of problems. I'm very disillusioned with the NHS and frankly still can't see the point. But I recognise I may feel differently in a couple of months so postponed it is!

I think that’s the right decision. I hope things keep improving for you x