Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Women's health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

I know how ridiculous this sounds but ...

17 replies

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:05

Hi all,
I have been married to DH for 13 years. We have 2 Children and I love him very much. I've had 2 emergency c sections and a full open surgery appendectomy which saved my life and it's left my tummy very wibbly and I have the classic wrinkly apron tummy that hangs with a big scar down the middle. I also have PCOS and whilst I've been fortunate enough to have Children, I really struggle with the weight side of things. All of the above really affects my self esteem. I'm also short at 5"1.

I was at a wedding recently and was chatting to one of DH friends who'd had a few drinks, DH went out with his sister for a long time, way before me (I've never met her she lives elsewhere) used and he let it slip that his sister is a model and has always been considered very beautiful, and she's tall. I know he didn't mean it to be nasty to me, but this has really affected me!. My self esteem is even more on the floor. DH has a "type" he likes tall women and has always dated them, and I'm clearly not, and certainly not pretty or slim enough to be a model.

I imagine how amazing she must have looked in underwear or with nothing on when they were together and how chuffed he must have been to be with her, and now he's with me, short, dumpy, and scarred, like a comfy old pair of slippers. DH doesn't know I've even had this conversation or anything about it so he's just carrying on as normal and I'm too embarrassed to mention to him how I feel. I could cry at how inferior I feel. He only split with this beautiful tall model because she went off with someone else in the end and was a bit of a cow to him apparently. But I can't help thinking about how much he must have listed after her. I know I am torturing myself.

OP posts:
quickturtle · 18/08/2024 21:07

He's chosen you. He doesn't have to be with you. He wants you.

BCBird · 18/08/2024 21:08

Don't do this to yourself or your relationship OP. DH is with you because he wants to be. Enjoy it.

Thunderboltandlightningveryveryfrightening · 18/08/2024 21:09

The body you describe gave him the most precious gifts ever. Your dc...

SonicTheHodgeheg · 18/08/2024 21:10

If he didn’t want to be with you then he wouldn’t.

Maybe he doesn’t have a type (one tall slim woman is not a type) or he doesn’t get along with tall slim women but is happy with petite you?

Either way he loves you and you shouldn’t doubt that.

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:12

Thank you - your replies are so kind. I'm a 42 year old woman who should know better, but sometimes a throwaway comment can just pull the rug right out from under you.

OP posts:
iremembersnappedandfarted · 18/08/2024 21:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the user.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 18/08/2024 21:13

Don’t overthink it 💐

ssd · 18/08/2024 21:13

I bet he's so glad to be with you.

Imagine being with a model. The pressure!!!

Newsenmum · 18/08/2024 21:15

Why did they break up? I was with quite a few really attractive guys when younger. Utter dickheads. I’d choose my husband any day.

selldonaterecycle · 18/08/2024 21:15

Snog Marry Avoid! He snogged her but married you OP. She was a cow - you said this yourself. Sounds like he dodged a bullet! You are not inferior to her just because she is tall.

This friend just mentioned his sister - that is all it was. Please don't spend another second overthinking this.

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:16

@Newsenmum She went off with another man. Even DH friend who is her brother said she was out of order.

OP posts:
ThreeRings2 · 18/08/2024 21:16

He's not with her though is he?

And I'm sure after a few kids she wouldn't look the same.

He loves you

Newsenmum · 18/08/2024 21:17

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:16

@Newsenmum She went off with another man. Even DH friend who is her brother said she was out of order.

Well there you go!

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:17

@iremembersnappedandfarted I was thinking about a trip to the hairdressers for a bit of colour.

OP posts:
TaylorSwish · 18/08/2024 21:18

He’s also 13 years older than when you met and I am sure he looks different too. You still love him!

shockshockhorrorhorror · 18/08/2024 21:18

@Newsenmum You are right

OP posts:
shockshockhorrorhorror · 19/08/2024 10:10

Thank you all

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page