Hi all,
I have been married to DH for 13 years. We have 2 Children and I love him very much. I've had 2 emergency c sections and a full open surgery appendectomy which saved my life and it's left my tummy very wibbly and I have the classic wrinkly apron tummy that hangs with a big scar down the middle. I also have PCOS and whilst I've been fortunate enough to have Children, I really struggle with the weight side of things. All of the above really affects my self esteem. I'm also short at 5"1.
I was at a wedding recently and was chatting to one of DH friends who'd had a few drinks, DH went out with his sister for a long time, way before me (I've never met her she lives elsewhere) used and he let it slip that his sister is a model and has always been considered very beautiful, and she's tall. I know he didn't mean it to be nasty to me, but this has really affected me!. My self esteem is even more on the floor. DH has a "type" he likes tall women and has always dated them, and I'm clearly not, and certainly not pretty or slim enough to be a model.
I imagine how amazing she must have looked in underwear or with nothing on when they were together and how chuffed he must have been to be with her, and now he's with me, short, dumpy, and scarred, like a comfy old pair of slippers. DH doesn't know I've even had this conversation or anything about it so he's just carrying on as normal and I'm too embarrassed to mention to him how I feel. I could cry at how inferior I feel. He only split with this beautiful tall model because she went off with someone else in the end and was a bit of a cow to him apparently. But I can't help thinking about how much he must have listed after her. I know I am torturing myself.