Life after pelvic floor surgery

[PelvicWoe]

Just after a moan and some solidarity really!
I had pelvic floor repair surgery a few years ago. Was told never to heavy lift (anything more than 10kg) but I find it so hard not to over do things. I have another mild prolapse now, due to carrying things for longer or heavier than I should and am petrified of more surgery.

My problem is that I have to park a fair way away from my home with onstreet parking and have a flight of stairs to reach my HA property (was housed some years ago through legitimate/no fault hardship). I do online shopping or just get daily bits as needed, but often I have many things to carry up or down to the car and time is short as I work full time. I also have ligament damage in one of my legs so the extra journeys to only take a small amount at a time is not good for that.

I know many people have things a lot worse and somehow I seem to manage, except that my home is increasingly full of clutter and desperately needs updating. DS is embarrassed to bring anyone home and so am I, to be fair! Need to do many trips to the dump/charity shops/recycling etc and my garden is a sorry state. ExH is sort of helpful, but not reliable and I don't like to put on my DS(13) all the time. He does help a bit but between them it's like herding cats. I guess I need to look at buying in professional help, although there's not much in the budget and hate the idea of strangers going through all my things!

I guess I could ask for a transfer but not sure I'm really going to score that highly! House in no state to photo for a mutual swap and am too embarrassed for that any way. I guess I shouldn't be I suppose. Couldn't afford another set of moving costs in anycase and I'd still have to deal with all the decluttering/packing etc.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Thanks for reading my moan! Would love to know how other people manage, especially when we all look in fine health and can do various bits - easy to be judged as just lazy!

Hopeful bump

And another!

I sympathise. I had prolapse surgery (bladder and bowel) along with a hysterectomy and have a minor prolapse again. I do try not to carry too much but sometimes practicalities mean you have to. I don't know what the answer is.
As far decluttering, most of that is organising what you want to keep, donate or dump.

Thank you @Hurdygurdygirl. Organising it is one thing, it's the physically removing things from the house that's the bigger issue. I hate it as I've always been fit and strong. It's the look you get from people too, like at work or at events etc when you can't do your share of the physical side of things, without having to explain it's because your insides are going to fall out of your fanny!

Do you find you get much support?

I've been thinking of lying and saying it's due to a hernia - that seems to get more sympathy!

Sounds like you need one of those stair climbing dollies or shopping trollies.

A man with a van might be happy to run stuff to where it needs to be.

Medical reasons might be enough to get you a housing list transfer to the GF.

I'm confused by your stipulation about genuine no-fault rehousing though. Not sure if hat you mean there at all.

You could speak to the housing association and consider applying to the council for a disabled badge. The HA might be willing to create a disabled bay by your home (cheaper than a Transfer). It's not just for people with obvious mobility issues. You have a legitimate problem, for example, risk of pro lapse caused by over exertion when brining in the shopping over distance from car. Don't be embarrassed, we have a son with autism and while the casual observer may not think we need it because he is able bodied, we regularly use disabled facilities for him. We'd probably apply for a disability parking badge if we weren't able to get by with parent and child spaces.

Thanks, I do have one of those trolleys but even that is limited to a bag or two of shopping. It's the bigger items and boxes of stuff that's causing me angst.

My comment was more to try to avoid a load of attack for being in social housing in the first place and what do I expect etc!

Yes I think I should explore if the HA will help - I just need to accept that I do have a need and I shouldn't feel guilty about asking. I guess they can only say no!

I also think it will really annoy my neighbours to bagsy a space right outside, but it's no good if it lands me back in hospital. They're not the most considerate of parkers at the best of times. Applying for a ground floor might be better and I'll just have to rally some troops to help move.

Hi OP I've just had this surgery and currently trying to come to terms with the life changing impact of it..

However, I have always lifted weights and I've been told I can get back to that (not super heavy, but reasonable such as 5kg dumbells).

It will restrict things like digging the garden with a mattock for example.

Can you start trying to strengthen things a bit more by extra kegels and doing some online prolapse safe abs workouts, it might help your slight reoccurence and also give you the confidence to breathe and lift more safely. I realise this is a longer term option but maybe a possibility?

In the shorter term, if you have stuff to shift, do you have any spare money to pay some hired muscle - say £10 an hour to a couple of local 6th formers to move the big bits for you?

My comment was more to try to avoid a load of attack for being in social housing in the first place and what do I expect etc!

Ah yes I see.

Ask your housing officer if you can go on the list for a GFF. Decanting yourself from one to the other (and getting help with that) might be easier than trying to clear and decorate a flat you're living in, and you might well qualify as medical need for GF.

Yes definitely.

It's a hard head jump to accept physical changes. You stay in the mode of "I'm still just me and this is all temporary" for ages IME. (I have a spinal problem.)

Thank you for the suggestions @Droolylabradors, I'm sorry you've had to go through this too.

You're right that it shouldn't mean you can't lift anything (although advice can be different I believe, for different types of repair) - I too had the advice of no more than 10kg (no sit ups, running or anything high impact). And that's been fine for me, if it's just lifting something from a to b, like shopping bags from the floor to the counter top, or from the trolley into the boot. What I struggle with is lifting and carrying over distance, or up stairs. Except that I still bloody do it! And that's the most annoying thing I think, it's not like it's terribly painful like a bad back or broken bone. There's no sharp pain to stop me. It's mildy uncomfortable and I CAN do it, so I inevitably do! But I then pay the price of not being able to go to the loo properly for the next month until I've strengthened things up again. I do do appropriate exercises but seem to undo the good work carrying more than I should, thinking I'm stronger than I am and it's mind over matter! And now I have sore and achey bits more frequently, painful twinges if bloated, and another bulge! I'm my own worst enemy 😖

So yes, I need to make a change. I'm coming to terms with having to pay for help I think and/or move. I'm just not very good at asking for it, or explaining why, when I look fit, well and healthy in every other respect. Need to get over myself!

And thank you @LiterallyOnFire I'm sorry you have spinal issues - that sounds painful and I'm lucky in that respect. The temporary thing really strikes a bell - I like to think if I do the exercises it means I can do more, but it doesn't, they just help stop things getting worse, as long as I'm sensible!