Hi all recently lost both my mum n dad to cancer... did really well stopping smoking for a year, got into running where I was attending a running group weekly and got from running 0 to 16km comfortably, then when my mum was dying I stupidly started smoking due to stress of it all.
My family is quite right-wing which is stressful with all going on in UK and I feel very lost as feel i don't have family now I can connect with due to their views.
They say very racist things thinking it is ok and can be very misogynistic, I live alone and am happy with that but my lifestyle (Barr smoking) doesn't fit their agenda.
I need to stop but any text from them or phonecall sends me into a spiral where I smoke again.
I felt so healthy before and need to quit again and get out this spiral.
I an furious with myself as both parents smoked and ended up with cancer and dying from it.
I still go jogging but obviously struggle sue to the stress of dfamily n still smoking, but its a trap i hare myself for but can't get out of it. Last parent died in March.
I'm guessing just posting to see if anyone can help... its an emotional and stress trigger. I'm not my usual self and feel very lost, isolated and angry with myself for putting myself through this.
Just need guidance.