I don't/can't get wet during sex and it's really getting me down. I feel like a failure to my partner (who has never said or done anything to make me feel like that) and I don't want him to go down on me because I feel like a freak. I am aroused, I really want sex with him, I really enjoy it (using lube), but it's really upsetting me.
I'm in my late 20s and this has been going on for about four years now (including with my previous partner), and I feel like it's gradually getting worse. I can't tie it to any particular experience, health issue, etc. I used to get really wet and it's like the tap was turned off. I've been to the doctors, had extensive blood tests, they can't find anything, just tell me it must be in my head and if I relax more, I'll be ok. I've had bartholins cysts in the past which I thought might be contributing but I had one removed and it didn't make any difference.
No other symptoms - no pain during sex, totally regular periods. Not using any contraception bar condoms, although I was on the pill for a few years before this started, and I think the issue may have coincided with coming off the pill. I even went back on the pill for a few months last year to see if it helped but nothing changed.
Has anyone dealt with anything similar? I feel like I'm never going to get taken seriously by a doctor because it's not like it's a huge health issue and it's something that everyone just seems to want to attribute to psychological or environmental factors rather than physical (which I'm open to it being, but I don't think it seems very likely).