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Did you find out that you didn't have ADHD?

128 replies

PermanentTemporary · 05/06/2024 22:38

I'll try not to navel gaze but I've been considering the possibility that I have ADHD for a while. Online screeners that don't look too trashy suggest it could be worth going further.

If that's me, it does explain some things and might help me make a career decision that's coming up. If not, it probably doesn't change that much - I could make the same decision, after all.

Was it worth going for a diagnosis? Particularly interested in those who were assessed but didn't have it.

OP posts:
Yalta · 10/06/2024 01:44

Wethairwendy · 09/06/2024 22:36

I hate the constant social media posts convincing everyone they have ADHD.

When in fact ( especially women) it’s complete overwhelm with life, women have never been expected to do so much. Work full time, look after the kids, keep the house clean.. the list goes on.

Lots of women still have past trauma effecting them, difficult child hoods, the list is endless why your brain is fried add on to that complete overwhelmed and you’ve basically got a ticklist for ADHD.

A male friend of mine has just been diagnosed with it through a psychiatrist. He is going to try the medication. Apparently it’s hit miss and they may take a while finding the right one. They also told him his personality might change and that made me feel really sad.

He really wants to try the medication the medication because he cannot sleep he gets about three hours a night.

ADHD isn’t just suddenly feeling overwhelmed with life as an adult

You are born with ADHD. It is a genetic issue

If you didn’t have these symptoms as a child then you don’t have ADHD. To suggest that being overwhelmed with life as an adult is ADHD then you really should do some research

As for your friend wanting to try the meds and you being sad

This sounds like you think he will lose his entertainment value

Having Adhd is not a joke. It is a life of struggling against a world designed to catch you out at every opportunity

Its seeing people who are far less capable and far less intelligent flying high whilst you are stuck in a life of boring mediocrity

If meds help to make him focus and get a life plan together then why wouldn’t you be happy for him

LadyMuckRake · 10/06/2024 07:03

I actually feel OK working to deadlines, less overwhelmed in that specific arena of my life. Mind you my house could be a pigsty. I think those of us who know, know.

There's an agenda to persuade us we're all looking for attention. This apt coming up in October is one of the few things I haven't overshared 😅

durundundun · 10/06/2024 07:25

@Wethairwendy

Everything you’ve just listed are also symptoms of unprocessed complex trauma.
Many many conditions share characteristics. That is why the diagnostic process for each is in-depth and takes more than a 20 min online test. They take hours and involve gathering evidence from other people (partners/parents/teachers etc)

The assessment involves delving into different areas of life, from early childhood through to today.

I'm not sure what your point is. Are you suggesting there is no way to differentiate between conditions? If so what are you suggesting? That we don't assess. We just pick one or pick none?

durundundun · 10/06/2024 07:31

reallyalurker · 09/06/2024 22:36

I was diagnosed with ADHD on the NHS by a psychiatrist a few years ago, in my forties. The medication (tried stimulant and non-stimulant, various types and dosages) has not helped me, and some medications made me feel worse or made my functioning worse. I now wish I hadn't requested assessment as this information about me hasn't been useful to me. In my case I wonder whether my ADHD symptoms could be caused by anxiety rather than ADHD. I am speaking purely about myself here, and of course am not questioning anyone else's diagnosis.

It's possible that you don't have adhd. Like with any assessment/diagnosis, there may be errors based on other things causing similar characteristics. ADHD is not alone here. EVERY condition has the possibility of incorrect diagnosis.
But I would look into it further before discounting. Which medications have you tried?
Anxiety can exist as part of or in addition to adhd. For people who struggle with anxiety not related to adhd, stimulants can make this worse.
Some people need to take stimulants AND something to to deal with the anxiety.
Other people need to take a non stimulant adhd medication like atomoxetine or guanfacine

Have you tried any of this? Good luck

Wish44 · 10/06/2024 08:07

adhd and autism are both spectrum disorders and a diagnosis is reached when someone is at a certain point on that spectrum which causes difficulty functioning. The fact that it is a spectrum does not detract from the issues those on the diagnostic end experience.

No3387 · 10/06/2024 08:11

Wish44 · 10/06/2024 08:07

adhd and autism are both spectrum disorders and a diagnosis is reached when someone is at a certain point on that spectrum which causes difficulty functioning. The fact that it is a spectrum does not detract from the issues those on the diagnostic end experience.

That's not how it works it all.

The spectrum is ONLY for those who are ADHD and or ASC.

Wish44 · 10/06/2024 08:17

Surely it is how it works. Diagnosis is achieved by looking at behaviours, the severity of them and the frequency of them and the amount of them. For those who have severe and frequent symptoms/ behaviours a diagnosis is reached for those that don’t then no diagnosis is achieved

there is no blood test etc . Diagnosis is observed and a bar has to be hot to get a diagnosis

Wish44 · 10/06/2024 08:17

Hit

durundundun · 10/06/2024 12:34

@No3387

.....Wish44
adhd and autism are both spectrum disorders and a diagnosis is reached when someone is at a certain point on that spectrum which causes difficulty functioning. The fact that it is a spectrum does not detract from the issues those on the diagnostic end experience.....

That's not how it works it all.

The spectrum is ONLY for those who are ADHD and or ASC.

Is that not what @Wish44 meant?

BertieBotts · 10/06/2024 14:48

Wethairwendy · 09/06/2024 22:55

Everything you’ve just listed are also symptoms of unprocessed complex trauma.

Which is exactly why diagnosis needs to be done by a professional.

ADHD has symptoms which overlap with a lot of conditions.

WRT the spectrum discussion below, it's my understanding that ASC is considered a spectrum condition as in, you're either autistic or not autistic and with autism comes a potential spectrum of different symptoms, characteristics or impairments.

ADHD is a bit different in that there is a bell curve of everyone's executive functioning level and most people will be in the middle, but some super-organised people will be right at the top like a genius of executive functioning, and then if you're right down at the bottom end, then you're considered impaired enough to have ADHD.

It's more like deafness - if you measured everyone's ability to hear different frequencies, most people have what we would consider a "normal" range of hearing as they are in the middle of the bell curve, some people have extremely sensitive hearing and are at the top, they might be musically gifted (or they might even be autistic, as people on the autism spectum often have hearing sensitivity). And someone with very little or no hearing ability is considered deaf, someone on the borderline between deafness and hearing might be considered hard of hearing. (I do apologise if any of these terms are out of date).

ADHD is a clinical diagnosis, like depression, in that there are no biological markers which are clear enough to differentiate - like for example you could say someone is iron-deficient if their iron is below a certain level. Although there are identifiable differences between a population of diagnosed ADHDers and neurotypical or general population, so we know it's a real thing, it's just those differences are not enough to diagnose yet (it would be like trying to diagnose if someone is male or female based on their height). So it's essentially OK, people with these symptoms normally respond to these treatments, let's try it. (And sometimes people have symptoms A and B but they can also be caused by Disorder X so let's look at that disorder too to see whether it's more likely to be ADHD, that, or possibly both). At my assessment, I hit a lot of boxes for OCD, enough to trigger a recommendation for an OCD assessment, but my assessor felt that these symptoms were actually coping mechanisms I'd employed for my ADHD rather than being caused by OCD themselves.

However the "executive functioning bell curve" model is more of a modern interpretation - previously, ADHD has been identified by looking at hyperactive or inattentive symptoms, which are basically the most externally obvious signs. Originally they thought it was two separate disorders, and only combined them into one when more was understood. But both have been identified going centuries back, so it's not a modern phenomenon. When you understand ADHD as a disorder of executive functioning then you can see the root causes of many of these more visible symptoms, but that's where we're at at the moment.

SneezedToothOut · 10/06/2024 14:50

Steven Bartlett’s ADHD was diagnosed after a brain scan.

BertieBotts · 10/06/2024 15:05

So was Rhod Gilbert's, on a BBC program he was doing about shyness - and I've had a go on a Neurofeedback machine at a conference, to demo it, and the person setting it up was taken aback when it showed my brainwaves and they said "Ah - well - er, this isn't actually what we would usually expect to see, this is a pattern more usual in someone with an attention disorder." I laughed and said funny you should say that, as I'm diagnosed with ADHD. He looked visibly relieved that I wasn't upset, but unfortunately it did mess up his demo a bit because I was on the one that is supposed to train you to be more relaxed. I was getting the "relaxed" state just by doing nothing and I would get the "not relaxed enough" state when I was thinking about something or listening to a conversation that was happening in the room. He did then demo it on some other people and they got a more usual response. I got the best score though Grin

But still - I understand this doesn't work for everyone because it's like the height thing. So maybe the type which shows up on a brain scan is like being 4'10 or 6'4 - if you saw those heights, you know immediately what sex the person is, and you're probably not wrong about it, but if they said they are 5'8, then it could be either male or female.

Or maybe I'm wrong and it's just a cost thing.

SneezedToothOut · 10/06/2024 15:58

I’d love to have my brain scanned. :)

durundundun · 10/06/2024 17:21

@BertieBotts
As you say it is not easy to assess. Many things mimic adhd and adhd mimics many other things and there are lots of comorbidities.

Executive functions are generally:
• Time management
• Organisational skills
• Multitasking
• Working memory and remembering things
• Planning
• Prioritising tasks
• Paying attention
• Regulating emotions
• Self-censoring

And not everyone with adhd struggles with all of these.
My 18 year old dd has fantastic organisational skills, is never late with school work. She is excellent at multitasking. Her short term memory is good as is her general memory. She doesn't lose things, forget things or take the wrong things. Her self censoring is very good. Her planning and prioritising tasks is good. Her emotional regulating is exceptional until she is overwhelmed and then it can go. But this is a 'during exam periods' type thing, not a once a week or daily thing. And at that frequency it wouldn't flag up as unusual for many NT people.

It is predominantly in time management, poor concentration and an overall sense of getting completely overwhelmed. She suffers with anxiety and zones out a lot. She is quite 'bouncy' with her thoughts. She has a lot of internal dialogue and is distractible.

She was only recently diagnosed because all the former executive functions operate at average or above average levels. She is someone teachers always commented was a student they wished the others were like.

Only as the pressure has increased have the wheels begun to fall off.

This is do classic with women that I think the understanding and screening needs to be adapted so they catch girls earlier.

Lisapillar · 10/06/2024 20:45

And don’t forget about emotional disregulation and rejection sensitivity. Honestly it’s awful having adhd. No fun.

LadyMuckRake · 10/06/2024 21:04

Wethairwendy · 09/06/2024 22:55

Everything you’ve just listed are also symptoms of unprocessed complex trauma.

Well my psychotherapist thought I had ADHD. I think I have it. There are reasons i think this, outing reasons, which shame me. So I won't go into them, but it's a good job I know not to pay much attention to a poster on mumsnet.

LadyMuckRake · 10/06/2024 21:05

Lisapillar · 10/06/2024 20:45

And don’t forget about emotional disregulation and rejection sensitivity. Honestly it’s awful having adhd. No fun.

yupp. it's true. Life is a bit more challenging. I'm doing my best though. And it looks like embarrassing low achievement to the outside world.

Behonest32 · 10/06/2024 22:16

PermanentTemporary · 05/06/2024 22:38

I'll try not to navel gaze but I've been considering the possibility that I have ADHD for a while. Online screeners that don't look too trashy suggest it could be worth going further.

If that's me, it does explain some things and might help me make a career decision that's coming up. If not, it probably doesn't change that much - I could make the same decision, after all.

Was it worth going for a diagnosis? Particularly interested in those who were assessed but didn't have it.

Difference stance but during my assessment, I was told at the end that as an adult I have every sign of ADHD in each criteria. HOWEVER, due to poor memory from childhood (couldn't answer how they symptoms related to childhood during questions) i could not be diagnosed with ADHD as needs to be some link it was present before age 12. She actually said 'your symptoms are most likely cause of borderline personality disorder and anxiety. I left feeling low, like I didn't know who I was.

I asked to give me 24 hours to see if my mum could dig out school reports as evidence.. anyway, by some miracle she found them and it was SO OBIVOUS!! The assessor called the next day and I was diagnosed with both inattentive ADHD and Hyperactive ADHD.

If I didn't get those, I wouldn't be diagnosed or receiving medication and support right now!

circular2478 · 11/06/2024 07:23

@Behonest32 you are correct, as per the DSMV 5 symptoms must be present age 12 for a diagnosis.

Yalta · 11/06/2024 07:44

Wish44 · 10/06/2024 08:17

Surely it is how it works. Diagnosis is achieved by looking at behaviours, the severity of them and the frequency of them and the amount of them. For those who have severe and frequent symptoms/ behaviours a diagnosis is reached for those that don’t then no diagnosis is achieved

there is no blood test etc . Diagnosis is observed and a bar has to be hot to get a diagnosis

Actually a brain scan would tell you.
(Or a line of coke)
Those with ADHD have a different shaped brain than a NT

I was told by someone who had done some research into ADHD after being diagnosed themselves that in a post mortem, when the brain was studied. The brains of people with ADHD were different predominantly because of a particular vein that runs through the brain, in NT people the vein was intact. In people who had ADHD the vein either ended before it reached where it was supposed to go or it had withered and died at some point along its journey

The line of coke comment is because whilst coke is a party drug and has a certain effect on NT’s
For those with ADHD it can be a drug needed to go to work and order things in your brain

When being assessed through the NHS, by the time you get to the assessment by the psychiatrist you have been through a gruelling phone call that questions you about your symptoms/ life in general to see if you have ADHD.
Only if you tick enough boxes can you be sent the forms to fill in

Then your answers on the form are assessed and gone over by a medical team . Again if there is any possibility that you don’t have ADHD you don’t get any further . So those people who they assess after they have got the GP to send them for a referral, and got through the phone call and filled out the form and got through the medical teams scrutinisation of the answers are the only ones who get the assessment with the psychiatrist
So it is a very high possibility that you are going to be diagnosed with ADHD

Yalta · 11/06/2024 07:57

durundundun · 10/06/2024 17:21

@BertieBotts
As you say it is not easy to assess. Many things mimic adhd and adhd mimics many other things and there are lots of comorbidities.

Executive functions are generally:
• Time management
• Organisational skills
• Multitasking
• Working memory and remembering things
• Planning
• Prioritising tasks
• Paying attention
• Regulating emotions
• Self-censoring

And not everyone with adhd struggles with all of these.
My 18 year old dd has fantastic organisational skills, is never late with school work. She is excellent at multitasking. Her short term memory is good as is her general memory. She doesn't lose things, forget things or take the wrong things. Her self censoring is very good. Her planning and prioritising tasks is good. Her emotional regulating is exceptional until she is overwhelmed and then it can go. But this is a 'during exam periods' type thing, not a once a week or daily thing. And at that frequency it wouldn't flag up as unusual for many NT people.

It is predominantly in time management, poor concentration and an overall sense of getting completely overwhelmed. She suffers with anxiety and zones out a lot. She is quite 'bouncy' with her thoughts. She has a lot of internal dialogue and is distractible.

She was only recently diagnosed because all the former executive functions operate at average or above average levels. She is someone teachers always commented was a student they wished the others were like.

Only as the pressure has increased have the wheels begun to fall off.

This is do classic with women that I think the understanding and screening needs to be adapted so they catch girls earlier.

Have you thought that this is masking

As you say it is when things become different and she doesn’t have the routine that she has learned to show she is just like everyone else do the wheels come off.

I think lockdown and WFH really showed women especially who had up to that point been able to mask their symptoms (even if they weren’t able to understand why) and have a routine.
WFH meant they had to have their own routine and there was no one around to copy and that is where things started to show up the differences

Yalta · 11/06/2024 08:04

RainbowZebraWarrior · 06/06/2024 13:34

This really resonates with me. I was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist and it was a 3.5 hour assessment. They delved really deep into my childhood and I knew that they were making sure that my symptoms weren't otherwise explained by trauma. Good on them, I thought. Doing a bloody good thorough job. (I'm also Autistic; scrupulous attention to detail is a must in my world)

I've heard of a few assessments only taking an hour, and for this reason, I just don't know how it can be thorough enough to rule out other possibilities.

My daughter has just been referred via the Right To Choose pathway. I'll be very interested as to how her assessment pans out. To be honest, with myself and her Dad both having ADHD and her struggling with classic hyperactivity and attention deficit symptoms, I'd be surprised if she wasn't diagnosed. However, I hope and feel it should be conducted by a Psychiatrist, like mine was.

My assessment with an NHS psychiatrist was only 1 hour.
However he said on the walk to his room he had diagnosed me by just watching me in the waiting room

The hour was to go through my forms and general chatting and at the end I scored 9/9 in every single area that affects ADHD as a child and as an adult.

durundundun · 11/06/2024 14:18

@Yalta

Have you thought that this is masking
I struggle to see how it could be masking. Unlike ASD where people learn to mimic, people with adhd can't 'mask' being organised right from toddler age. The thing with adhd is you literally can't do some stuff without really good support and sometimes medical intervention. If she could be organised and never miss a deadline and know what is needed where, never lose anything, be socially better than average, function as someone would with going working memory etc, then how exactly would she be doing this as masking?

Unlike mimicry in ASD. If you don't have say good working memory, you can't fake or mimic good working memory. Tasks that require good working memory will be difficult. There is no way of masking that would enable you to excel in tasks that required this skill.

With ASD you can mask social interactions by learning to mimic the behaviours of those you see around you. But you can't mimic good working memory or knowing from memory what is needed, when it's needed etc.

durundundun · 11/06/2024 14:20

circular2478 · 11/06/2024 07:23

@Behonest32 you are correct, as per the DSMV 5 symptoms must be present age 12 for a diagnosis.

Which is extremely difficult when an individual is in their 50s or later and can't really remember

Yalta · 11/06/2024 14:35

durundundun you can mask if you have ADHD. You might not be able to do it as a toddler but there again what deadlines does a toddler need to adhere to.

Once in school, especially girls, can copy the behaviour of their peers and it is exhausting

It sounds like your Dd can just about cope with normal everyday stuff but as soon as things change and she hasn’t had the time to observe and learn the behaviour that comes along with exams she gets overwhelmed and the mask slips