Complete hystorectomy...im losing my mind

[sunshine99789]

So I'm 40 and last week had a complete hystorectomy (including both ovaries).
Recovery physically has been not as bad as I anticipated, emotionally/mentally however is a different story.

I feel so tired all of the time, I have literally sat here all day and just stared at the wall.

I've had one huge panic attack since the surgery and a smaller one yesterday but I feel so angry! I can't stand to be near my husband or my kids who ironically I have started to resent because despite being teens and old enough to know better, they don't lift a finger yo help but expect their dad and me to drop whatever we are doing when they need help.

I'm so fed up. I literally feel like I'm losing my mind.

Are you on HRT?

Started exactly a week after the operation as the hospital couldn't get it!

It's surgical menopause. Your HRT will kick in . Did you have a GA?

You've had major abdominal surgery and that takes time to recover from. I know when I had a gall bladder removed I needed naps each afternoon for about 10 days - I has completely washed out. So I'm not surprised you're tired - and you've lost your ovaries to boot.

You're in that stage of recovery where the initial discomfort has reduced but you're body is still recovering from the general anaesthetic. And your body's just starting to feel the impact of hormonal changes

Give yourself some slack here - you're allowed to feel rough after major surgery. It's fine to sit and look at the wall. If you want to mix it up a bit - watch some rubbishy TV - my go-to's when not feeling well are Midsommer Murders and father Brown. Not to everyone's taste but you get my drift. Keep taking any painkillers

Tell your DH he has your permission to read the teens the riot act and get them cooking dinner (and cleaning up after), putting their washing on (and hanging out), etc etc. Remember you're not allowed to lift anything heavier than a cup of tea for a month and 4-6 months before your changing beds, hoovering, putting shopping away etc etc

Then on Monday - chase up HRT if you haven't been prescribed any.

You will be fine, just give it time

Il'm six weeks post op and although recovery has been ok, the tiredness is still there. You have had an op which has 200 stitches inside you and you need time to heal. Enjoy being helpless - lean in to doing nothing. By week four, you will be able to do a walk or potter down the shops. Do not lift anything, push anything.
If they don't do anything then it doesn't get done.

It took me 6 months to really recover from a total hysterectomy. It's a major operation - I had good days and bad days and you just need to rest when it's a bad day. Fortunately my partner and mum were both really supportive and I was able to rest when I needed to.

It takes time to recover from any op. I find the general anaesthetic knocks me out, and whenever I have one, I spend a week on the sofa watching old films, reading Mumsnet, and trying not to buy clothes.

Don’t rush recovery. I did find after a couple of weeks I felt alot better. However, you need to get your dh on board and get him to do things. Be stubborn and refuse to do things . Focus on yourself, and not others.

I'm perimenopause and when I'm tired I feel insanely angry too. Usually it's hormonal. Just do nothing and tell them you feel really unwell. If it's transdermal HRT keep an eye on it in case it's not absorbing. Some women need body identical progesterone for sleeping and emotional stability, I hate the stuff myself but lots of women love it. Often not prescribed after a hysterectomy as not seen as necessary but sometimes is prescribed for women with endometriosis. Are you sleeping ok?

I sleep too much if anything

Should have mentioned, it was done laparoscopic so a much faster healing time. Just to throw a spanner in the works though I have fibromyalgia which is probably contributing towards the tiredness.

It's the anger though. It's so horrible.

I've only had just minor laparoscopy recently and i feel so depressed and all since.. can only imagine how u feel after such big surgery! Give it time, or maybe talk to gp for some happy pills. Maybe its like me, you expect to be instantly better and your mind fights with the body and it gets so frustrating! Only been 5 weeks for me and it feels like its been eternity and never gonna get better you know. And if your kids are teenagers (mine are little so not a chance for a rest even!) just perfect time for them to be a bit independent. You look after yourself

The anger is horrible and so is feeling exhausted no matter how much you sleep. You have my complete sympathy.

The anger is fine, it's a response to the huge changes you've been going through - leading up to & the surgery itself.
Just like grieving you need to give your emotions time to heal too. Even if you have completed your family & are at peace with this, a total hysterectomy is the absolute - theres no going back now is there 🫠.
I've had this op at a similar age to you too - rest as others have said, you might look fine on the outside but your insides not so much. And HRT for sure.

It is a major surgery regardless and you will need time to recover. My surgeon said it's too easy for families to disregard it because they can't see anything as it were. Rest and sleep. Leave the rest of them to it. I got a cleaner in once a week initially to do the bathrooms and change the bed. Take the painkillers and the HRT. You will soon feel much better.