So many UTIs - all after sex

[SilverHairedCat]

I'm in ribbons with yet another UTI, but I suspect it has gone into my kidneys. Dr has sent a prescription to the pharmacy today after a dip test, but they didn't do it until the pharmacy had closed so I'll pick them up in the morning. 😭

The problem is I'm getting them several times a year now and it's always after sex with DH. I'm absolutely certain he's not having an affair (way too much effort for him 😂) and we both did STI checks a decade ago when we first got together.

I'm probably hitting menopause, early 40s, I've just started with hot flushes. I have the Mirena coil for the hormonal benefit. I have a few leakage issues with urine and no feeling of leaking but I've spoken to the bladder team just a fortnight ago about that and it's in hand - this is a separate issue really. It's probably time to discuss HRT or similar.

But is there anything anyone does who has been through this? Do we both need to shower before sex? Does he need a knob swab in case he's carrying something that's causing my UTIs? Do we need to change positions / habits? I do have a clitoral hood piercing, but I've had that for 20+yrs and never had a UTI following sex with any other partner until DH so I doubt that's the cause / the problem, but I could be wrong.

I've not used this handle for a few years, but I have NC to an old one to break the links to my usual one! Promise I'm not a pee troll.

Vaginal oestrogen is your friend here.

You are peri and so is your perineum. The UTIs and incontinence are due to vaginal atrophy. You need some vaginal oestrogen and the problem will almost certainly stop.

That's really interesting, thank you. Atrophy sounds horrific though 😂

@AnnaMagnani@AnnaMagnani

I had this and it went on for years and nearly ruined a few romantic holidays with my husband 😭😭

I eventually saw a consultant who did a tests including checkingif I was fully emptying my bladder after peeing and it was found to be ok. He thought it was just a very stubborn infection. What eventually worked was some super strong antibiotics. I'm not sure what they were but I took them for 14 days I think. I also really ramped up my hygiene. I have always been a bit over the top with hygiene but I ramped it up even more. It's not very romantic but I wash before and after sex. I was also given antibiotic tablets to take after sex as a precautionary measure. I ended up not needing these.

Vaginal oestrogen wasn't needed as dryness wasn't an issue even though I was peri and later menopausal.

I hope you get it sorted. It's such a horrible feeling when you start to feel ill and know it's going to get a lot worse very quickly.

Similar experience to @SuzySizzle re antibiotics and to you generally in the past. Started drinking lots of water and to automatically and always wee immediately after sex. This together with the strong course of antibiotics did the trick. I continue to always wee after sex as an automatism. Also if you’re not lubricated enough the motion in and out aggravates this so don’t hesitate to use lubricant (done and tested successfully as well!). Good luck, it’s not easy

That's true. I never forget that post sex pee. So romantic. If I've orgasmed it takes forever🤦🏻‍♀️. Real life sex is not like the movies🫠

Vaginal oestrogen can help but it won't stop you from getting the recurrent UTIs.

You need to correct is the vaginal microbiome by lowering the pH with boric acid pessaries which you can buy from a pharmacy

I thought I was alone in it taking forever! Sitting on the toilet absolutely bursting but nothing coming out until I’ve ‘calmed down’ 😂

OP make sure you’re weeing after sex, ideally have a shower before and make sure neither of you are using any fragranced soaps/shower gels.

As romantic as it sounds, could your DH pull out?

Also even if you think you don’t need lube, it’s worth a try - Yes! lube is the one I recommend to my patients who are approaching perimenopause.

@WetBandits
* I* thought I was alone in it taking forever! Sitting on the toilet absolutely bursting but nothing coming out until I’ve ‘calmed down’ 😂

That's too funny. I have to try and think of something mundane to help with the unclenching. 🧘🏻‍♀️

Lube is on my list for the shops this weekend. I don't use anything fragranced in the shower tbh.

I suspect pulling out is unlikely (I don't want to be mean, but he doesn't last long....), but we can definitely talk about it. I also suspect part of it is too much time spent trying to get me to come as I have always struggled with that and can take a bloody age... Might have to defer it for a wee while.

Peeing immediately is what I currently do, but I think I need to shower / at least have a quick rinse as well. And yes, it can take a while to get started 😂

Sounds.... Painful

Microgyn gel from Amazon and also lube.
and a wash after.

God don't put boric acid up your vag.

The restoration of oestrogen will stop everything being thin walled so getting sore easily, put the lubrication back so again no soreness and sort out the pH and natural bacteria. Plus help the incontinence as everything isn't just sagging away.

Menopause is such fun.

D mannose will help any bacteria that has been introduced to your urethra during sex to be expelled. I take it daily, the bacteria binds to that and you pee it out rather than it hanging around to cause an infection

Another vote for D Mannose. Amazing stuff. Highly recommend for UTI's. Game changer! I take 2 tablets after sex, as well as having a post sex wee.

Also recommend D-Mannose and always have a wee post sex

Do you always have a pee after sex? That alone can help this.

Vaginal oestrogen in the form of localised HRT pessaries for a micro dose.

This keeps your tissues plump and helps stop the migration of bacteria into the urethra.

This combined with always urinating immediately after sex to flush the tube.

I was having recurrent UTI's with every period, tried D Mannose and it didn't stop the UTI's, dr was considering stronger antibiotics but tried the vaginal oestrogen first, haven't had a UTI since. Another symptom (had I known) were how painful my smears had become painful, and they aren't anymore.

I’ve always struggled with UTI after sex, even when I was in my 20s. I wee afterwards but that doesn’t always stop it. Lube does help though!

If the orgasms are taking longer than they used to it might be another sign of atrophy. I'm a big fan of vaginal oestrogen.

Lube, pee after, and I have found taking vitamin D helps a lot. Was getting so many UTIs before I started taking that regularly.

Nah, it's always been slow. Hence the piercing to try to speed the process a bit. It sort of works, I think I'm just a bit weird.

Vaginal oestrogen makes such a difference. But since you asked, I don’t let dh near me unless he’s washed. It may not be spontaneous or romantic but those are the terms and conditions round here.