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Original poster

Perimenopausal RAGE just like teen rage?

20 replies

LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 18:57

I'm about to turn 42. As a teen I had awful hormonal rages where the red mist would just come down. I thought I had just matured out of it but looking back it might have been hormonal because I feel like it's renturning.
I'm tired and often at the end of my tether with a busy job, a 6yo and a 3yo and a DH who I love but who can be inconsistent with practical support depending on his mood. But some things are just making me absolutely fly off the handle and I hate it. The latest today was over the washing machine going wrong after the toddler did a wee in the car so now we can't sort it and the car is out of use til we get the washing machine fixed/replaced. Such a stupid thing to have a rage about. It's nobody's fault even if it is annoying
Almost immediately after I throw a wobbly I am filled with shame and frustration because this isn't the me I have been as an adult. I can't believe I'm feeling as out of control as I didn't as a teen.

OP posts:
NotIAm · 19/05/2024 19:32

That’s my experience.
I was unhinged during peri (& as a teen!), thankfully it’s settled down a lot on HRT, but the rage was unreal. I once repeatedly stabbed the kitchen counter with a knife during a rage, cutting my hand and causing damage to the counter, it was ridiculous but I just couldn’t control myself. I had accidentally melted a bit of something I was ironing and just lost it. I was actually on the verge of stabbing myself. DH was alarmed and I was just stabbing the counter screaming at him to please help me because I was so out of control. I was actually very scared. I have never felt the same level of rage since starting HRT. I totally understand how women, just a few generations ago, ended up being committed during peri/menopause because I know if I had been going through it then that’s where I would have ended up.
Do speak to the GP or if there is a nurse at the surgery that specialises in HRT they are often the better option.

Summerhillsquare · 19/05/2024 19:44

There is a view that it's a second/reverse adolescence, and that the storm will pass. I wonder if we become a more playful wide eyed version of ourselves.

Original poster
LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:03

Thanks. It's really hard to unpick how much is just being exhausted and overwhelmed frankly juggling far too many responsibilities for one person and how much is hormonal shifts.
I'm waiting for some scan results after which I'm having a Mirena coil fitted to help manage my heavy periods. I will speak about maybe considering hrt then. I don't want to start it too early as my mum didn't actually finish her periods until about 54, so that's another 12 years away for me!

OP posts:
OliveK · 19/05/2024 20:04

The HRT helped my rage immensely! I wasn't like this as a teenager!

Summerhillsquare · 19/05/2024 20:04

AFAIK there's no too early or late. If symptoms are becoming debilitating then give it a go.

TitusMoan · 19/05/2024 20:05

I get this… but it’s just toddler wee so why is the car out of use?

18761875j · 19/05/2024 20:23

I'm not sure OP, i think a huge part of it is having too much responsibility and reaching breaking point. I say this as a single mum without support and with a lot of responsibility going on. I've just had enough!

Original poster
LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:31

TitusMoan · 19/05/2024 20:05

I get this… but it’s just toddler wee so why is the car out of use?

Sorry badly written. Half the car seat is stuck inside a broken dishwasher so the car is in use but can't be used to take 3yo anywhere.

It's not big deal really, it's just an annoyance in a busy week.

OP posts:
Original poster
LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:34

Summerhillsquare · 19/05/2024 19:44

There is a view that it's a second/reverse adolescence, and that the storm will pass. I wonder if we become a more playful wide eyed version of ourselves.

Oh I really hope so. I want to find a calm version of myself. I've always been a high stress person apart from a few weeks of my life when on very long trips away from work. Would love to find a better equilibrium. I just feel so overwhelmed and put upon right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:34

@TitusMoan broken washing machine!!!

I'm so tired 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:37

18761875j · 19/05/2024 20:23

I'm not sure OP, i think a huge part of it is having too much responsibility and reaching breaking point. I say this as a single mum without support and with a lot of responsibility going on. I've just had enough!

I really feel at breaking point. I feel like I desperately need 3 months off work where all I have to think about is family responsibilities. But sadly even though I'm self employed and could make it happen, we simply cannot afford it.

OP posts:
18761875j · 19/05/2024 20:48

@LostittoBostik sorry to hear that. I sympathise as in a similarly difficult situation! Sounds like your DH needs to step up a bit TBH. What's going on on that front?

DahliaSmith · 19/05/2024 21:05

The rage is real, can confirm. I feel like I'm in a second adolescence too.

TheLurpackYears · 19/05/2024 21:21

Get on the hrt and don't look back. There isn't time limit for taking it unless a few health issues rear their head.
I'm 46 with a pubescent daughter. It is not pretty several times a week but at least the hrt keeps the worst of it at bay from my side.

TitusMoan · 19/05/2024 21:26

LostittoBostik · 19/05/2024 20:34

@TitusMoan broken washing machine!!!

I'm so tired 😅

Oh you poor thing!

It’ll get better x

sofasofa42 · 19/05/2024 23:12

I don't think HRT in early 40's is the answer. You just got the rage. It's hormones. Be ok with your moods. Ups and downs on a normal level- such as frustration, surely shouldn't be medicated?
I really don't think meditation is the answer unless of course you can't sleep or work.
Ok you got cross. That's ok.
Women are allowed to have moods. Take a breath, a walk, a wine?
I have a cohort of friends so worked up about HRT they need medication to prep them for HRT ..
maybe we can all just lose our shit once in a while.

yumyumyumy · 20/05/2024 07:49

I'd be reluctant to go on hrt at 42 for mood swings!

MrsErrorKaru · 21/05/2024 12:49

Talk to your Dr about this. I have always never had much patience I'm finding as I get older it's getting worse. also I have been told about my age and Menopause. so I would suggest talking to your Dr.

18761875j · 21/05/2024 23:19

sofasofa42 · 19/05/2024 23:12

I don't think HRT in early 40's is the answer. You just got the rage. It's hormones. Be ok with your moods. Ups and downs on a normal level- such as frustration, surely shouldn't be medicated?
I really don't think meditation is the answer unless of course you can't sleep or work.
Ok you got cross. That's ok.
Women are allowed to have moods. Take a breath, a walk, a wine?
I have a cohort of friends so worked up about HRT they need medication to prep them for HRT ..
maybe we can all just lose our shit once in a while.

I think I agree with this @sofasofa42 . Let's face it in our early to mid 40s a lot of us have a lot of responsibility on our shoulders, so it's fair enough that we might occasionally lose it a bit! Also, there's only so many years we can reasonably go through all the stuff that society heaps on the shoulders of women in general before we start to set a few boundaries, or get a bit madder more easily. It's completely understandable!

Ginflinger · 21/05/2024 23:24

The rage was absolutely real for me too, and HRT has helped me too. I hope you find your way through it OP.

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