No idea how to pick myself up

[Flamminsausage]

Hi had total hysterectomy at beginning of Jan went straight on to hrt. Have been left with bladder spasm and vulvodynia.
im on 125 oestrogen ( 100 patch and 1 pump) oestrogen vaginal cream and testosterone.
but im so down, can’t be bothered to do anything.
i never feel hungry, i eat cus i know i have to….ive lost a stone in the last six weeks
getting dressed feels like an effort.
im paying for counselling because it was six month waiting list on nhs, im paying for pelvic floor physio cus the waiting list was 10 months.
my go just tries to give me antidepressants.
i have thoughts about ending it all but love my family to much to put them through that.
my husband is amazing and has been my rock but even that has back fired because when he’s not here I feel worse.
just wondered if anyone else felt like this and has come out the other side.

I do a good job of pretending I’m fine, but could quite happily go to bed and not move ever again.

Hi, I don't have a lot of advice but just wanted to say I'm in a similar boat having recently had spinal surgery which didn't go well and left me disabled and in chronic pain. Even though I went private I've had some awful 'care' and it's left me feeling like I don't matter and there's no help for me I just have to learn to live with it. Some days I'm like you I can't see how I can keep going but other days, like today, I feel ok and just try to be kind to myself as much as possible.

I hope you have some brighter days soon.

@NoRealPersonInvolved im so sorry it’s awful isn’t it, your just left in a state of fending for yourself.
i have days where i feel a bit better but they soon come to an end.
take care of your self I’m thinking of you xx