So sorry you are experiencing this. So I too had a hunch I suffered from PMDD, more notably after the birth of my second child. I called my GP, who clearly had absolutely no knowledge of this condition, and said he would prescribe me some anti-depressants (which I decided to decline).
I understand we are on a public forum and I don’t want to be intrusive but I am concerned about the suicidal thoughts you are experiencing. Have you reached out to anyone? Are they fleeting or do you have a plan? Mine were fleeting but the thoughts were deeply troubling and uncomfortable to sit with, especially with a little one to take care of.
The first thing I would advise is to download an app like Me vs PMDD (or something similar), just so you can track your symptoms and get together a timeline of when you feel at your worst. Also, although my experience wasn’t good, I’d strongly advise you reach out to your GP or a health professional for support.
I have been able to manage mine by getting to know the patterns in my symptoms throughout the month. I take vitamins, including iron, vit c and magnesium, exercise regularly and manage my week according to my symptoms. I am self-employed, so I can offer myself a lot of flexibility though.
Depending on the severity and impact of PMDD, HRT may also be prescribed. But again, I believe this is where tracking your month is so important, as health professionals will possibly request you keep a log over a period of time before offering treatment.
I wish I could offer more and I really hope you’re okay. Sending a hug your way.