Calling parents of young women with ADHD - menstrual cycle

[FlemCandango]

I have fairly recently made the connection between my dds ADHD getting worse when she is on her period. This morning is a good example. She is 17 and I do quite a lot to get her out the door on time, her dad drives her, I ensure she has her lunch etc. it is a team effort. Her younger sibling benefits from the lift but sometimes risks being late if DD1 is not ready to leave on time.

This morning me and DD1 are both struggling a bit with period pain. I do my bit to get her ready, check she has everything, give her a hug and say goodbye as I think she will be out the door soon, and dash upstairs as I have to use the loo.

As I go up she asks about painkillers I check she has some in her bag and she goes to get some for now from the kitchen cupboard. DH is outside deicing the car and stayed out with the car.

Younger daughter goes to car while DD1 takes meds. DD1 takes meds then promptly forgets about going to the car, assumes her sister is upstairs, and starts looking at her phone while waiting for her sister. I hear some kerfuffle downstairs while in the bathroom and when I get downstairs again DD1 is sobbing, DH came in to see what DD1 was doing realised she was not ready and left as dd2 will be late if he didn't.

I was not downstairs to make sure DD1 left, DH did not know I was in the loo and DD1 did not realise that her sister had gone out to the car, so was waiting inside and not taking note of the time. So dad left in a rush after trying to get DD1 out the door and quickly realising that was not possible as she collapsed in tears when she thought he might be annoyed with her.

DD1 was distressed tears and self recriminations abounded. Took some time to talk her down, but me and DH have done that. He took her to school separately all ok.

DH has come back and DD is at school now, she is 6 former so no issue with missing reg and she does sometimes if she has a morning meltdown. She is in time for her first actual lesson.

But her inattentive symptoms get so much worse when she is on her period, I just wonder how we can help her? Is there anything that will counteract the impact? As it is hard to see her so upset, and so much responsibility falls on us. She takes meds but they are clearly less effective this time of the month.

She needs to be able to live more independently as she is planning on going to uni that is difficult to imagine on days like this. Other days she is much more on top of things.

I don’t really have time to answer you properly now (running late because: ADHD!) but am replying anyway so if you dont already have lots of useful answers by this evening I will post again then.

The good thing is that it’s likely that the menstrual cycle impact on symptoms will lessen once her adolescent hormones have settled properly into her adult hormones (and then her ADHD will probably go haywire again during peri!)

All you can really do is help her build healthy habits into muscle memory as much as possible now so that it’s already imbedded before she leaves home.

A smart watch with lots of reminders re: counting down to leave and fixed places to keep stuff like keys.

Hormonal contraceptives might help
but I would be reluctant to recommend that. if it’s at it’s worst when she’s actually on her period than that’s when progesterone is lowest? My worse days are when progesterone is highest and over the years I’ e found I’m best with a natural cycle and understanding which days are likely to be my worst (a couple of days before my period) and which days are the days I can tick off an entire list and socialise easily (ovulation!)

Sometimes just knowing that today is an ‘off day’ due to cycle day helps a lot with not getting into the mental loop of feeling useless/being useless/feeling more useless. It can help protect self esteem.

Find the good days in her cycle and encourage her to make the most of them, then when the bad days hit they don’t have such a big impact?

My Period by Milli Hill is a great book (aimed at tweens and young teens but interesting and not patronising!) that sets out to reframe your cycle as something to work with, rather than something to battle.

(Acknowledging that some women have extremely difficult cycles and will find it harder to find any positives than those with average cycles!)

Also, you might be able to get a top up dose of ADHD meds for the worst days. Go to clinic armed with evidence (track cycle and ADHD symptoms, they will probably want to see at least three months worth)

I’m late diagnosed ADHD, also have endometriosis. I find a few things help. I take a higher dose of my ADHD meds the week before my period is due. I feel the meds are slightly less effective when I have PMT/my ADHD is worse. I take a magnesium supplement at night, it’s meant to balance your hormones. I thought maybe it made no difference so I didn’t reorder but I swear my PMS was worse!
Pain wise, I can’t take anti-inflammatory drugs but tranxemic acid can be really good (reduces flow and pain). I take codeine to manage my pain. I also have microwaveable gel pack to use at work but when I’m out and about I use deep heat patches.

Even without adhd , everything just get worse around periods , moods and anxieties and crying and everything.. i panic for nothing literally and cry and am angry like...for no reason... so its probably hard for her to deal with it all at once. Next time just add some extra time .. you cant just block every emotion you know, periods make lots of women feel crazy and forgetful and what not lol just give her more time on next period to get herself together