Bit of background - I am mid 50s, taking HRT for perimeno including vagifem pessaries. Had two natural births - neither remarkable in terms of size of babies, tearing etc. Have had incontinence issues for probably 20 years including urge incontinence. I did have a mesh sling for my bladder about 15 years ago.
I have been seeing a brillliant NHS continence physio and am doing pelvic floor exercises regularly (Sqeezy app) , including using a pericalm TENS machine daily, and I have been told I am using all the right muscles etc. I've been seeing her for maybe 18 months.
The urge incontinence has settled a lot after giving up caffeine but despite all the exercises, techniques to increase bladder capacity and oestrogen, I am still getting through two or three 'Normal' tenas a day. If I have the slightest cold or sniffle I seem to lose all control and have what seems like a constant dribble of pee all day, and perhaps a couple of episodes of flooding, just to keep things interesting. If I'm in the office I have to go to the loo virtually every hour to keep on top of things.
I have been single for about 10 years and can't see the point of trying to find a partner - who's going to want someone who wets themselves and wears those sexy incontinence pads?
Where can I go from here? Is there anywhere to go?