Can I ask you about menopause?

[Lavender14]

So was talking with my friends recently, we're all 35, and we realised that we all knew very little about menopause. So can I ask a few questions as I've heard it's different for everyone?

How did you know you were approaching menopause ?

How did the change affect you?

Did you have symptoms before full menopause (perimenopause)

Where did you get your information to know what treatments were available/ how to manage things?

I've read that some women get blood tests done, can anyone ask their gp for this?

I've been having some real hot flushes recently and pain in my joints but I'm on the mini pill so I don't get periods and it did make me wonder as we'd like another child in the next few years but I know some women go though it earlier than others. Just made me wonder what I should be watching out for!

I'm peri menopause now.

My first sign was night sweats and periods being all over the place.

I went to gp after reading MN.
Suggested I had the mirena coil put back in, but peri has exacerbated some health issues so still waiting for the coil to settle and healthy o get better.

Insomnia is shit,
Hormones are shit.

I'm 41

Post menopause here.
52 now, but it started aged 48/49.

Hot flushes.
Insomnia ( that's not resolved).
Anxiety.

For me it's been horrible.

47 and peri menopausal- erratic periods, insomnia and vagina drynesses coupled with an increased sex drive.,,great combination!

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/

I couldn’t recommend this book more strongly. I’m the same age as you and have just read it. I now feel really confident about what to expect and how to respond to it.

Preparing for the Perimenopause and Menopause: No. 1 Sunday Times Bestseller (Penguin Life Expert Series, 1) https://amzn.eu/d/drvRqBZ

I was 53 when I realised that I starting perimenopause. My normally very regular periods which lasted 7 days became slightly more irregular and became shorter and then I skipped a couple of months. I had a couple of months when I flooded which was unpleasant. I then skipped a period for 11 months and then had a period for a few months and then nothing since. I had and still have hot flushes (now 2 years post menopause) and experienced anxiety and had olfactory hallucinations (phantom smells) and auditory hallucinations (hearing things) which was quite scary but they did not last long and were possibly caused by stress at work. I still have aching joints and hot flushes but will not take HRT for health reasons. It has not been pleasant but everyone is different and my Mum sailed through menopause without HRT and just had hot flushes.

Thanks so much to everyone who's shared their experiences, I will definitely order that book. It seems like such a natural part of women's health that we don't really get taught about and its something my mum has been through but doesn't talk about.

Out of interest, what are the health reasons that made you decide not to take HRT?

I was 49 with hot flushes, night sweats, insomnia, joint pain and low moods. Doc tried some different herbal things, none of which worked. (We’re in Germany, they love herbal stuff here.) So now I have HRT and it is great, feeling so much better. She prescribed based on symptoms.

@TheCurtainQueen I am very good at growing lumps and bumps. I have had several pre cancerous moles removed ( I am not a sun lover), had several ovarian cysts since my very early teens and a very large one which ruptured. I also had a rare but luckily benign Phyllodes tumour in my breast (these can be benign or malignant). I am not willing to risk HRT no matter how much anyone tries to encourage me and my GP agreed with me when I declined the offer of HRT and explained why.

I'm 44 and have been on HRT for about 8 months.

First signs were vertigo, insomnia, night sweats, irregular periods, anxiety and no sex drive.

The HRT has helped, but not with everything.

Where did you get your information to know what treatments were available/ how to manage things?

School, sex ed in the 1970s. Popular culture. Chatting to randoms. Google.

Erratic and more painful periods which were sorted with Mirena Coil. Some hot flushes, palpitations, poor sleep, dizziness, itchiness, dryness, dry eyes. Those are the main ones.

Got the mirena before turning 49. Started oestrogel (2 pumps) six months after that. Started vagifem six months after that. Feeling good on the whole. Still have a couple of symptoms but nothing awful. Think I was 36 when I first noticed changes in my menstrual cycle but things started to kick off when I was around 48.

I'm 39, I've tracked my periods for years and I've been lucky that they've always been regular, until this year. I've not had hot flushes, I've had the opposite which can also be down to the hormonal changes. I had the same cold spells when i was pregnant with my children, but before i knew i was pregnant.

I didn’t know I was peri menopausal. I just started getting very tired to the point of having to try very hard to stay awake even whilst at work. Getting irritable. Hair started to feel dry. Then waking up during the night suddenly and burning up, unable to get back to sleep.
Nobody explained anything. I sought help from the GP who told me it was too late for HRT, advised me to ‘go for a walk, take multi vitamins and keep exercising.’ After approximately 12 months and getting to the point where I thought I was going through early dementia plus I was beginning to struggle to leave the house, I went back to the GPs saw a different GP and insisted they prescribe HRT.
Work organised sessions for women to speak to experts. I discovered all my symptoms plus more were down to being peri menopausal. The sessions were incredibly helpful.
Many women had given up work thinking they were suffering from dementia. This is a very common symptom and the sessions I attended have helped enormously with this.

I was early 40s. Seemed all the joy had been sucked out of my life. My mental health just took a nose dive. I was like this for a few years then the night sweats started. Absolutely drenched. Then came the brain fog, joint pain, migraine, weight gain, and hair loss. There seems to be something extra just waiting around the corner.

At 47 my periods were every 3 weeks 😔 then by 49, they were very heavy so I went back on the pill back to back mini pill for 2vyears, felt fine, totally normal and it was great not getting periods. Then at 51, started to feel a bit flat, bit "can't be bothered" so I was put on hrt. Unfortunately that brought periods back, initially, but I take the progesterone everyday now no period.

I feel fine! I hardly drink though. Walking, pilates, salds, salmons, walnuts, avocados, dark chocolate! I eat well, I feel well.

Don't fear it like it's decrepidation. Is that a word?!

I only ask because the advice around HRT and cancer risk has changed. The initial studies which made headlines several years ago were very flawed.

Obviously you have done your own assessment and have taken advice.

Thanks so much, I feel like I've learned so much already and given the symptoms a lot of you are describing I definitely would want to be prepared for it.

So is there progesterone in HRT? I've never been able to tolerate it in the pill etc (which is why I've not had a period in years because its been coil or mini pill) does that mean hrt might not suit me when the time comes?

A good doctor will prescribe a combination of hormones tailored for you. If you can’t tolerate progesterone then they won’t give it to you.

Many women use the mirena coil for the progesterone part of their HRT as I do. Some women find progesterone doesn't agree with them. It's difficult to say what will suit you until you're at that point. If you get along with the Mirena, it's a good thing.
To answer your other question, I have been reading posts on the Menopause board here and I read two very informative books on the Menopause. I also joined a Facebook group. My GP is also good and supportive.

Mine started at 46. The first sign for me was extreme clumsiness. Followed swiftly by rage like I've never known. Tingly hands and feet. Itchy ears. After a year or so the anxiety and panic attacks started

I didn't know what perimenopause was, I'd never heard of it. I looked on the NHS website. I didn't even consider asking for HRT even though my symptoms were severe, which was pretty stupid of me. I basically lost 7 years of my life and ended up losing my job as I was barely coping.

Blood tests are not used to diagnose over the age of 45, doctors are meant to go on symptoms only.

OP, everyone is different. In spite of the current media interest in the subject, which implies that menopause is always awful, that's not necessary the case for all women. I knew I was probably menopausal when I hadn't had a period for a few months (at the age of 56). I didn't need a blood test. I haven't seen a doctor. I didn't and don't have any medication or treatment. I have no idea what "perimenopause" is actually supposed to mean.
Life just continues completely normally.

You may or may not have other symptoms, but please don't rush to medicalise what is just normal life experience.

At about 54 my periods started getting irregular. More spaced out and lighter. Then I'd have a six month gap... finally they just stopped at age 56. No other symptoms! My mum had a terrible time so I was really fearing it.
Out of eight friends:
One like me her periods eventually stopped minimal other symptoms.
One similar but did get hot flushes for a couple years.
Two went on mild HRT as felt a bit foggy, hot flushes were intense and a few aches.
Two more had hot flushes, a bit of brain fog, a bit forgetful but didn't feel it warranted HRT, and one didn't want to as had breast cancer.
Only one friend had a terrible time from age 42. Really bad hot flushes (especially at night, soaking wet and needing to change her sheets), though not too much brain fog. Lasted for years. Wouldn't take HRT.
I don't think anyone had blood tests - it was pretty obvious what was going on. I think the 42 year old might have as she was so young.

I’m 50. At about 45 my periods started to get more frequent, every 21ish days instead of my usual 29, so I went on the mini pill. Last year I started struggling with sleep, anxiety, waking up with hot sweats, so spoke to the doctor. I now have a Mirena coil and oestrogen gel.

It hasn’t been a magic bullet for me at all, and I am really hating this time of life! I know I should go back to the doctor but it is so hard to get an appointment that I am just glorying on.

Per pp I have friends who didn’t even realise it was a thing, but also friends who have had/are having an absolutely rotten time of it. I think if someone is struggling then having a good GP is an absolute godsend. Mine is pretty decent, but access to even a phone call with her is like trying to arrange a sleepover with King Charles.