My cheating twat of an ex has given me herpes

[capabilityfrowns]

He was the last person I slept with , found out he was swinging and dumped the horrible bastard but I've now been diagnosed with herpes.

What the hell do I do ? I'm single but was just starting to date .

God I HATE men ! He must have known ? We started with safe sex but when we became established we dispensed with condoms . And he knew the entire time he was swinging and didn't tell me until months in . I feel absolutely sick.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It is manageable but the fucker!!!

You poor thing, what an arsehole. It is manageable but what a piece of shit, I'm not surprised you're angry.

My cheating ex gave me exactly the same.
I really feel for you, but i promise it does get better over time.

How the hell do
You ever date or think about sex again ? The internet says you can pass it on even when not symptomatic !?

I mean safe sex is great but if you end up with a long term partner ?

I e texted the utter fucking cockend from my work phone as I'd blocked him on everything saying he's given me it and that yes I know it's him - I've not said who I am tho and he didn't know my work number so I hope he's shitting himself .

I'm so so so so angry.

I have a date with a lovely guy Monday . Obviously I wouldn't be having sex as it's a first date anyway but how do I manage this going forward?

I can hardly tell a new date I've been given herpes .

Well you didn’t like that your ex didn’t tell you so obviously you should tell people before sleeping with them otherwise you can hardly be annoyed that he didn’t tell you?

I'm not planning on sex on the first date , I'm asking how I tell someone going forward. I'm not saying I'm going to not ! But how do you tell a new partner is what I'm asking .

I have to say my best friend is a man and I told him immediately, he absolutely made my day with a video of him cutting a tangerine in half with scissors (his interpretation of what I should do to cheating exes balls) and then made me roar with laughter because he said he was was just about to punch a banana on my behalf when someone walked into his shop 😂

He said he was doing the full fly like a butterfly sting like a bee recital and Bobbing about ready to punch the banana and an old lady walked in

I'm just so so angry . If you swing and sleep with hundreds of people you should tell your next relationship Before you stop using condoms . It ended very abruptly when I found out . I also suspect he used sex toys on multiple partners and cleaning certainly wasn't his forte (scruffy bastard )

Y instinct initially was avoid and he manipulated me by saying when I told him I didn't want a relationship he cried . Yeah I bet he did . I've vented my spleen at him and told him exactly what I think of him .

I would not ever do this to someone else . But for the first time in 18 months and after a terrible period of illness I had a date planned for Monday which I was really really excited about. I don't know whether to go or cancel .

Reading up on it, herpes seems really common (hundreds of millions of new diagnosis yearly) and apparently people can be asymptomatic and have it and not even know. Or have cold sores and pass it during oral sex. So it's possible that your ex didn't know he was a carrier. That doesn't excuse him being so cavalier and not being upfront about his very risky previous sex history!

You should should go on the date and only disclose it after you've got to know him a bit and feel emotionally safe.

I hope this doesn't offend, but a quick Google shows several dating sites for people with herpes, you then don't have to have that awkward conversation. As it's such a common virus, it makes sense there would be lots of perfectly nice, date worthy people out there in the same boat!

Perhaps some counselling to work through the shock and anger and help you get to grips with what is a bit of a blow and provide support when negotiating new relationships. Your ex is a real bastard. Sorry he's put you through this💐

*worldwide yearly

I know it's just I'd only ever slept with 3 people so to get it feels so horrible , I feel dirty . I'd given up on dating but this one guy is really keen and travelling to stay over in a hotel to meet so I am going to go , I don't do risky behaviour or ins or anything so I figured meeting for a drink and something to eat can't hurt just to see if we fancy a second date.

Sorry that you've been diagnosed! I have it too and my first outbreak was horrific! Manage it fine now though.

I will say you CANNOT know that he gave it you. You could have had it for years and be not showing symptoms. When I got it I automatically assumed my partner was a cheat, but it turns out that any sexual partner could have passed it to me right back to when I lost my virginity many years ago.

I'm not belittling how awful you ex sounds. He does. But that doesn't mean the herpes came from him..

My partner has since been tested for and diagnosed with herpes and we will never know who gave it who etc and where it was caught...

My ex hubby was a virgin when we met and I was too , my next partner had only slept with one woman

This bloke has had over 200 swinging encounters and shared sex toys . So I'm doing the maths .

They're the only 3 I slept with without a condom .

And I know that my ex husband doesn't have it and nor did my partner after that . They were long term relationships.

Firstly, it's not a death sentence - promise!! It's a mild skin condition. Using condoms won't always protect you from this as the cold sores (because that is all that they are!!!) can be anywhere in the genital area not always just on his penis.

I was tested for it 7 years ago after a couple of nasty outbreaks. Like you I had a total melt down, I did my research (the herpes charity helped me hugely!!) I met my now husband not long after, he didn't care we have a baby - life moves on!

I probably have an outbreak or two a year for a week at a time, you can take antiviral medication if they become too regular. The stigma attached to this condition is extremely outdated. Many people have it and don't even realise!

XxxX