Experiences with kidney cancer and ovarian cancer

[Unex]

Anyone got experience with this at all?
Totally out of the blue diagnosis
Symptoms started last Friday
More tests next week

@Unex have you considered waiting to tell your teens until you have the more information?

I had breast cancer last year and this year a diagnosis of a very rare, totally unrelated and sadly very serious cancer. Both times I waited until we knew exactly what my full diagnosis and prognosis were and what my treatment options and care plan was going to be before telling my teens. And I was glad I did because they had so many questions and at that point I was able to answer them properly.

I absolutely know it's super- hard to keep this massive thing to yourself and keep a semblance of normality but it might be better to wait a bit?

@mrsed1987
For your mum

@TwigTheWonderKid
You might be right, hard to know what to do for best
I always thought been open and honest was definitely the right thing, but different when your actually living it (as with most things in life)

@TwigTheWonderKid
So very sorry about this new cancer

I'm sat in the wait for biopsy results. Have a 4cm mass on ovary so I know how you feel. I started off with really heavy bleeding a few wks ago (there's a post on here about it somewhere) saw gp. Had bloods and referred for scan fully expecting fibroids but unfortunately not the case. If it helps currently I don't feel unwell other than some cramping like period pain and if it wasn't for the bleeding wouldn't have considered going to gp. We have 4 DC 18yrs-10months and decided not to say anything until we have results and more information. Until that point there will be questions we don't know the answer to around next steps and treatment. I know it's scary and overwhelming but try take it 1 day at a time and look after yourself. Sending hugs!

Of course you must do whatever you feel best and absolutely, honesty and frankness are essential. However, hard as this situation was, and still is for me, I also had at the forefront of my mind that my DSs still needed me to be a parent and that it was going to be really scary for them. So having a bit of time to myself to process what was happening was really important before I shared my news on both occasions.

My grandmother had these, she had a radical hysterectomy and chemo as primary was cervical/womb (I was young I don't know which) then a kidney removed. Had bladder removed later, radio therapy shortish course. Then years later returned and nothing could be done, 25 years between the first instance and passing away, this was 25 years ago now so we are talking 50 years ago for her first treatment, they are better now and in particular better imaging

Top tip is to record the appointment on your phone, audio only is fine, this way you can go back and check you understood everything, if you can take someone with you even better.

Sorry to hear all this but try take it as it comes. Telling the kids will be the worst but alas so do turn to this virtual support afterwards for a virtual hug

I always thought been open and honest was definitely the right thing, but different when your actually living it (as with most things in life)

You sound like a fabulous parent. I think @TwigTheWonderKid is correct though that it will be more helpful and supportive to your DCs to be honest and open with them when you have solid facts to share with them. At the moment it isn't really clear what sort of cancer you have, let alone what the treatment will be. Your DCs will manage better when you can tell them what happens next.