Low libido after kids

[Hatki]

Hi everyone, quite a personal one to ask but has anyone else struggled with libido after having kids? We had ivf for both and they’re now 7 and 1 - birth of the younger one was difficult and I haemmoraged afterwards and needed a blood trans and treatment afterwards.

my libido is none existent and it’s really taking a toll on my marriage :( my GP sent me to a specialist who I’ve waited months to see only for them to recommend anti depressants (I’m not depressed!) or the pill. I didn’t want to go on the pill after all these years of ivf meds, I wanted to finally be off anything artificial but I just wondered if anyone else had been given antidepressants for this and if they worked, or any other recommendations?

im only 36 and really wanted to get back to enjoying life with my husband! :(

Are you by any chance still breast feeding as this can have a big impact on libido. Also have you had blood tests etc to check that your iron and ferritin levels are normal? What kind of specialist did you see and why did they suggest anti depressants? Anti depressants can suppress libido even more!

Thanks so much for replying - and nope, I couldn’t breast feed due to blood loss and my milk didn’t come in so it’s not that. I had iron infusions and tablets for over 8 weeks after birth but they should all be fine now. Docs have done bloods and I did have low vit d and calcium earlier this year and he said my thyroid result came back slightly abnormal but all been fine since so I’m baffled! Never heard of ferritin?? This is what I was concerned about with antidepressants - I don’t wNt things getting any worse! Not sure they could though haha! The doc was a gynae consultant so I feel like he must have known his stuff but he said he was reluctant to do anything hormonal :( I’d rather just take what they know will work instead of messing with antidepressants and the pill for the next couple of years and getting no where!

Have you been able to e.g. fool around with your husband a bit and see if it helps you get in the mood? I'm not suggesting you submit to sex you don't want, but giving the starting procedures a bit of a go often flips the switch a bit. I've always had a pretty robust drive which got squashed by broken nights and breastfeeding, but virtually every time I gave it a go even if I wasn't feeling it upfront, I got into it quickly.

Have you and DH had sex since your youngest was born? If so, did you enjoy it? Are you sleeping? How's your diet? Getting any exercise? Time to do stuff just for you? Does DH pull his weight? How's your relationship?