Can someone help ease my fears about HIV?

[elllyyyyyy]

this may seem irrational but it is honestly consuming my mind. I have been unwell for two months now...constantly ill which actually started two days after I slept with someone, protected vaginal sex but STUPIDLY not oral. I am well aware I am an absolute idiot for that so please no mean comments as I'm already so worried about my health. Doctors have said bloods need to be done but there personal opinion is that I likely have CFS after tonsillitis which started two days after I had sex with someone (probably unrelated there I know) but ever since I have just been so so run down, stressed with work, just incredibly sick. I have not felt normal since having tonsillitis honestly, I feel hot and cold all the time, weak, sick...the lot. I am always so careful when it comes to sex and feel sick to my stomach that I allowed myself to be so stupid and give unprotected oral sex. Can anyone please ease my fears as honestly it is driving me mad...I can't get tested until next week (I have already had the swabs for sti's done that was fine) I have read online it is rare to catch through oral but is a possibility, that small possibility is really, really scaring me, when I take my temp when I feel hot it is normal, so it's just the flushes I am getting more than anything but I don't know, I'm just really going through it recently, I will also add that me and the guy no longer speak, it was a one night stand but we was chatting a lot beforehand..After he ghosted me and I did ask when he last got checked but he did not respond to me, I think the fact he didn't respond is now also fueling my fears that he could have had something... he was the one who got the condom out aswell so I don't think he is a regular non condom user, but I don't know, my mind is in overdrive honestly.

Honestly, it would be so rare. It's really unlikely so just get tested and then you'll have the reassurance you need.

"the per-contact risk of oral transmission is 0.04%, HIV might be passed on in one in 2500 acts of oral sex" https://www.aidsmap.com/about-hiv/oral-sex-and-risk-hiv-transmission

The chance of contracting HIV through unprotected fellatio is very, very low. I think there are a handful of documented cases globally.
But I know how frightening it can feel, OP. A couple years ago I got a splash of amniotic fluid in my eye whilst delivering a (known) HIV-positive woman's baby and I was terrified, despite knowing that its almost impossible to contract HIV that way. It's the miniscule possibility that keeps you up at night! I tested a few times, just to be sure, and the tests were all clear.
All you can do is wait until you're in the window to test. Here's to a negative result when you do!

You wouldn't have had symptoms of HIV 2 days after you had sex. Your anxiety in is overdrive here, I would see the GP about that rather than HIV.

I have a few friends with hiv. It's almost impossible to transmit it now with the drugs they take for it.

It's even more unlikely with oral sex.

It is highly unlikely you have contracted HIV. Your symptoms aren't consistent with this and might be more due to stress - maybe vitamin deficiency or even menopause if you're the right age.

Some people might get ill for a short time after contracting HIV - called seroconversion, however this starts about 1-3 weeks later and lasts for about 1-2 weeks. Others might experience no symptoms. Afterwards there might be no further symptoms for several years until the body starts to lose the battle in controlling the virus.

Giving oral sex is a tiny risk. The virus needs a way of entering the blood stream, say when the person giving has active bleeding in the mouth from sores. the person recieiving would have to have a high viral loadAlso the vast majority of people with HIV in the UK are on effective meds nowadays where it is a chronic manageable condition rather than a death sentence as it was in the past. This means they/we can't pass it on to any sexual partners with or without condoms.

HIV is rare and even if you do have there are meds to help you live a full life. It's not the death sentence it used to be. Try to keep busy until your appointment.

I really, really wouldn’t worry too much about it. You’ll be ok.

Thank you, the thing that worries me is I have been constantly ill since tonsilitis, with flu like symptoms for ages now, the symptoms all seem to match and I'm terrified. I know it's only a small risk but I brushed my teeth before I met the person and I have gum disease so I know I probably had a cut or something 😫😫

Did you post about this before? Where you thought you had a sti the next day or something, it rings a bell.

Not me, I have been researching hiv threads but nothing sounds similar to mine so that's why I posted, I've been unwell for two months now nothing has changed

No I know that, but I'm saying since that day, I have been consistently unwell...nearing two months now

Being ill for 2+ months is not consistent with contracting HIV. This is kindly meant but you might be trying to fit everything your experiencing in with having HIV like guessing you had a cut.
The mouth contains several enzymes that are hostile to HIV and damages the receptors of the virus, say in semen, making it unable to infect.

Thank you, so the fact I've had sore throat, muscle aches all over for about I would say a month now is not consistent with HIV? It's not something that even crossed my mind until I started googling as doctor scared me when he said bloods definitely need to be taken and he thought I had chronic fatigue, then I thought this all started when I had that one night stand and boom! Thoughts in overdrive.

But you wouldn't have been ill since that day as that wouldn't happen with a typical HIV infection.

I lost my very best friend to AIDS in the 90s so I do know quite a bit about this and I still say you are catastrophising about this. Wait until you can be tested at 3 months and then see where you are. I would bet good money on it not being HIV. You are quite possibly just run down from the tonsillitis and the stress of your anxiety is making your immune system a bit shit.

Not illness starting only 2 days later (and lasting for 1-2 months) - HIV takes longer than that to cause seroconversion. As an example my illness started about 10 days after contracting the virus and lasted for about 10 days. Reading your previous threads you appear to have had different suspect health conditions over the past year which might have lead to your being run down. I get that you are trying to put a name to them and hopefully once you've tested this should provide some reassurance for you.

Thank you... it was on and off, not all at once in the same but I would be fine for a few days then bam runny nose, sore throat, really bad body aches on and off. I have been unwell for this timeframe so I really just want to know what's going on, I'm happy doctor is doing investigations but this is the one thing I didn't genuinely think of potentially happening until dr google 😭

Seroconversion if it happens to someone can be very intense rather than on and off. If you want to learn about HIV suggest these websites
https://www.aidsmap.com/
https://i-base.info/
https://www.plushealth.org.uk/index.html (for anyone reading who does have a positive diagnosis)

Thank you, I'm still able to do my usual activities but it's not easy, I'm very tired

Suggest you see your GP and get your bloods checked generally - full blood count, maybe thyroid and autoimmune markers, depending on age menopause etc.
Wishing you all the best.

Yes I have, booked in for bloods, they think it's chronic fatigue syndrome but said multiple bloods will be took anyway to rule anything else out

I've been diagnosed with long covid following tests for symptoms like yours OP.
Try to keep busy until you have your blood check.
You'll be okay, it's very very unlikely

I understand the worries. I had a relationship with someone who unbeknown to me was an ex introversion drug user. I was worried sick when I found out. I don't think this guy ghosting you will have helped either.

Thank you for responding, no, you are right... I think the ghosting definitely didn't help but at the time I was unbothered! Just thought 'your loss' and blocked the number and that was it, but now as I have been so sick since, it is honestly plaguing my mind. But hopefully it is not the worst case scenario and simply just being run down. I have been super stressed and run down and doctor did say the stress of everything can take a toll on the immune system and cause more sickness than the usual.

Please tell me this is not the same OP who started a thread not all that long ago about a sore throat after oral 😳

I haven't posted a previous thread about this, I tried looking to see if anyone posted anything similar but no, not me I don't know why people keep saying this 🤣