Please help, what's wrong down there

[AngelsForever]

Hi,

So I no I checked out and I will be next week but I am so upset and angry with myself please give some nice useful words of wisdom 🙏

Long story short I'm in my 30s and have been with my partner for 14 years we have 2 children. We broke up 1 year ago as we lost my baby during labour and was I so depressed and miserable with him I had to end the relationship.

It's been a long time ( I've been with nobody and haven't had sex in about 2years) I've have been lonely and thinking for bringing the family back together - had sex last week and now I have been burning down there for a few days.

He said he was waiting for me but now I feel like he hasn't been and now given me something. It's brought all my insecurities to a head and he denies going with anyone else but I just don't believe him. I've never had a sore vag for days 😭

I'm so angry with myself for trying again 😭

I think you need to go to a doctor, or your nearest sexual health clinic.

Step away from Mumsnet and call your GP.

I'm so angry I believed him 😢
He's denying anything even though I said we weren't together it's fine I just want to know

Get an STI check.

Of course he will deny it, doesn’t mean he didn’t.

But it might not be, could be a uti or anything. Go see GP or gum clinic

It could be thrush. Can be really sore,
I used to get it a lot after sex
the only way to find out is to get checked
might be nothing to do with him,

Thank you for your quick responses, i really appreciate it. I know to get checked but I am just feeling so shit about myself, lost my son, it's taken me a while to get back to normal and now this...urghhh
We haven't been together but I still feel massively lied to, and won't be the same without trust, trust is everything 😔

You’re getting WAY ahead of yourself. Cystitis and thrush are both really common when you first have sex after a break. At least get checked before accusing him!

True, thank you for that!

And breath op. Probably 'honeymoon cystitis'

STIs don't spring to mind with what you've described. I'm thinking cystitis. Bacterial vaginosis can sometimes sting. Either of those make sense in your circumstances.
Obviously you'll want to get it checked and treated in any case, but I wouldn't jump to the worst conclusions.

Don’t lose hope. Firstly, renewing your relationship can bring lots of side effects- wait until the doctor says what it is before torturing yourself.

Secondly, you’ve both been through a terrible time and had effectively split up. Perhaps he did have sex with someone? I wouldn’t have blamed either of you for trying to find the way through the awful circumstances you found yourselves in. Did you have any bereavement counselling. I am so sorry for your loss.

No we never had Councilling it was too painful for me.
I wouldn't blame him either x

Unlikely to be a STI, generally that kind of infection would take a few weeks to be symptomatic. More likely thrush or a UTI. But perhaps you are regretting this for other reasons, and its not what you really want?

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother lost her son in the same way and it destroyed her marriage to my dad, he didn't know how to deal with it and she needed more support from him, he buried his head in the sand. Now 33 years later they still love each other dearly but the damage is done and they really should've tried again Because they were and still are perfect for each other!
I think therapy is an absolute must, it could've helped them a lot. I think you're so brave to try and rekindle your marriage after such heartbreak, I really do hope you are able too. It would've been so different if my parents could've!
I wouldn't jump straight to an sti,it could be a lot of other things!

Is there an unpleasant and really strong odour? No, then it's not BV.

As other posters have suggested, if you've not had sex for a while, it's probably cystitis. Take something for that and if it persists, talk to the pharmacist or your GP.

Should it be nothing, next time you have sex, use plenty of lube as I've found that this can prevent the stinging, particularly after a period of celibacy.

Thanks, I won't know what the answer is for now but you've given me a slight bit of hope ❤️