I have a lump

[abitworriedtbh]

Can I just unload here please? Sorry this is a bit long.
I'm in my mid 50s, on combined HRT for a couple of years. Carrying nearly 2 stone excess weight.
I've been suffering long COVID over the last year: started with all kinds of symptoms but tapered to significant fatigue and an intermittent problem maintaining red blood cell count/anaemia.
My self care isn't great: I'm very busy, high pressure job, main earner, sandwich generation etc etc. and I don't really pay much attention to what's going on with me: I comb my hair damp and head to work; don't really look at me or stop to assess how I'm feeling, particularly as the long covid makes me so fatigued anyway.

Until last week when I went for an infusion and someone noticed that this has been going on too long, so referred me back to the clinic.
I went yesterday and they took a full history and dug into all my current symptoms ( bleeds, tiredness, breathlessness etc).

Then they palpated my abdomen and pointed out that I have a large mass in my abdomen, which of course, now it's pointed out to me, is big enough to make my tum visibly bigger on one side, feels firm to touch, and is impacting my breathing as well as my eating. When they weighed me it seems I've lost 1.5 stone over the last year but my waist size is bigger than ever.
So, I've been put forward for bloods next week and an urgent Ct scan ( date awaited) and I've been told not to worry until they know more.
But I am worrying.
Can I just offload here for the time being ? Don't want to tell family that anything is wrong until I know something definitely is wrong. I'm in no pain, and after a year of long covid I'm feeling no worse than a year ago. But still, I don't know how to feel emotionally. Hopefully it's something benign and it can be sorted easily; but I'm worried that it isn't that simple. And it's too soon to worry, and yet I am.

Didn't want to read and run. Waiting with you. Try not to catastrophise - it could be anything.

Just to say I am in a similar position. I had iron IV last week and I know from scans post kids that I have adenmyosis. It's only since having a severe run of respiratory infections that the fatigue and brain fog has got much worse and I've started to look into what could be wrong. I didn't really appreciate the extent to which my womb could be contributing to overall health. I feel bloated and tired alot of the time. I'm hoping this iron infusion is going to boost my energy but I know I need to sort out what is going on inside as clearly the inflammation in my body is huge - rosacea, adhd, skin issues, itching, hair loss etc etc. so what I'm trying to say is that it might not be what you think and could be adenmysos and explain the anaemia. GPs don't seem to be very curious at exploring causes of anaemia without further problem symptoms...

Of course you can upload.
Lack of self care sounds very familiar, it's tough being a sandwich generation, so many things to juggle we always put ourselves last.
I hope its not serious, do take care of yourself

I'm here to offer a handhold.
It's easy to say don't worry but of course you're going to worry.
Please confide in a family member, if you were related to me I'd want to know so that I could support you through what is a terrifying time.
I'll be thinking of you, update us as you progress.
Remember, the nest of vipers are with you if you ever want a handhold or to talk xxx

I had the CT today. They couldn't tell me anything except that they are marking the report 'urgent'.
It took me 7 weeks to get a gp appointment then 3 to get the urgent CT so I'm hoping that the lack of urgency in the 'urgent' referrals means it isn't too serious. My bloods last week didn't show much more than an elevated inflammation marker, which has been the case for a while due to other issues. Normal CA 125 which is something, and means that the odds at this point are leaning to a benign issue.
I thought I was menopausal a while ago but I've been bleeding daily since before Christmas, which really isn't helping my fatigue. I'm due more bloods tomorrow so they might top up my iron or red cells if they have dipped again.
I just feel in limbo until I know whether or not to really worry. It is hard not to expect the worst.

Good luck with your results lovey. Let us know how you get on. For everything crossed for you that all is okay

Still no results from the 'urgent' CT.
I cried on the phone to the receptionist today. The waiting to find out if I should be worrying is worrying in itself. So now I'm mortified as well as worried ☹️

I've been checking in waiting for an update so I'm glad you've let us know. This must be such a traumatic time for you but there are lots of people sending you our thoughts and hugs xx

Oh no how awful that you are still waiting! You poor thing

The CT results came back 10 days ago, and I was told that it's a solid mass, and referred for an ultrasound and MRI, which are still awaited. I'm presuming that the lack of urgency means that they don't believe that it's cancer, though low CA125 is only indicative for 80% of cancers.
So I took matters in to my own hands this week and asked for an open gynae referral so I can claim on my work medical insurance and get things moving. The size of the lump is impacting the space in my pelvis and I'm off to the loo every 5 minutes: unsurprising as I'm carrying the equivalent of a 6 month foetus and look pregnant now.

I'm expecting to hear back from the insurance company this week about which consultants can fit me in soonest. I'm telling myself to push for hysterectomy rather than opting for biopsy if it's offered as it'll need to come out anyway and waiting for biopsy results will just delay the inevitable. Meanwhile I can't fit into any of my work trousers any more as they are uncomfortable on the waist when I sit down.
The physical difficulties are my focus at the moment, as I'm telling myself not to dwell on the 20% cancer chance. This is awkward enough without catastrophising further.
I have told the family about the lump and probably needing surgery soon. It was easier once I was less scared myself.

Just checking in on you and sending hugs x

So it's not cancer. Phew.

It'll be gone by middle/end of June hopefully. Slight delay for a different scan as there are some adhesions to take into account but it's a big lump so it's worth being thorough.

Thanks for being here through the scary bit. I'll update in a month or so when I'm less 'full of lump'.

Really pleased for you! And thanks for letting us know xx

Round and round we go.
It may get be cancer after all. More biopsy results awaited.
Certainly the op is too complicated to do at the local private hospital and I've been referred back to the NHS on the 14 day pathway again under the same consultant.
I'm in pain, am weepy and it's all a bit much.
There does seem to be a real sense of urgency now so hopefully something will happen soon.

How are you @abitworriedtbh ? Hoping it wasn't cancer and you have had the op and are on the mend x

Have been following and also wonder how you are doing?

Me too! Sending you massive hugs ❤️

Big hugs too. Hope it's gets sorted soon

Hope you're doing ok. Think about you often x

Thanks for checking in. It means a lot. It has turned out to be several tumours, within and outside the uterus. Some are endocrine and pumping out hormones which may explain some if my other symptoms.
.
I've had some radiotherapy to reduce the size of the tumours but the final analysis is that nothing is metastatic and I have surgery next week. (At last!!)
.
Due to an illness I had about 20 years ago I have a lot of adhesions which have caused some issues so what would have been full hysterectomy with tubes and varies is a little more complex and is likely to involve a couple of other abdominal organs. It's taken a while to arrange as the surgery involves surgeons from 3 different disciplines.
.
I'll have a few months to recuperate but they are already talking about physio so I'm hoping to feel considerably better that before all this, and certainly better than now.

Wish me luck!!

Crikey no wonder you haven't posted for a while. That must feel like a whirlwind in which you have very little control. But it's brilliant that you're having your surgery soon. I genuinely hope it all goes as smoothly as possible and I will continue to hold you in my heart. Please keep us informed as and when you possibly can! All the very very best ❤️❤️

wow, thanks for update. One day at a time. x

Just found your thread OP.
This has been going on far too long! I'm sorry thing's didn't move more quickly for you.

Good luck for the operation. Will you need any treatment afterwards? Do you have family and friends to support your recovery?

Keep posting if it helps. Mumsnet can be great if you need an outlet

Thanks for the good wishes. This will be my last post by this name or on this thread.

I have had surgery and am on the mend.
It will take a few months but I'm already feeling better. Such a strange feeling to realise that my own body betrayed me. Nothing was malignant: I just hit the jackpot for benign but inconvenient lumps snd bumps. Bonus: between the surgery and a few sedated days I lost over a stone in a week; which I really needed to lose!

Thanks again

Histology came back from expert review and it was indeed cancer: endometrial stromal sarcoma. I'm now awaiting scans for metastases and hormone treatment. No more surgery at this stage unless there are significant secondary tumours somewhere.
It's certainly being a rollercoaster of a year.