Hi all,
I was in a relationship with my bf for 6 months, fairly new getting to know each other. Then I found out I was pregnant. My bf was ecstatic and happy, already chose a name for the baby. And me on the other hand, well I can’t say I was over the moon but I wasn’t exactly sharing the same excitement as my bf.
I have a 9 year old son from my previous relationship, well let’s say my university bf (sons dad). Surprisingly although I was quite young (21-22) I continued my education, went on to complete my masters and now have a well secured job, house and nice income. Sadly my relationship with my sons father did not last and he left me to be with his childhood sweetheart who had already had a child for another man…this left me quite traumatised…anyhoo
With my now bf, we spoke about the pregnancy and my traumas relating to abandonment issues and how my biggest concern is that he will also leave etc so I proposed for commitment on a deeper level before having this baby…Marriage. My thing is I already know how hard it is to be a single mum and luckily I had the strength to preserver through the thick and thin by myself to ensure me and my son are in a comfortable state.
My bf suggested to think about marriage, I understand his hestitency as he was married before in the past. So I didn’t push further. however I did notice my trauma from my past creeping up which then lead me to consider having an abortion. I discussed this with my bf to which he didn’t agree or support..he’s a pro lifer.
A few days later my bf said to me he was thinking of leaving the UK to travel to Canada to pursue his career (higher pay he believe). He asked me to come but I explained to him my life is here in the UK. Travelling/relocating takes planning. I then explained I had no reasons to relocate as my life in the UK was very comfortable. He then said well he’s still going to go and he’ll be coming back to UK for myself and the baby but would like try Canada for a year. I begged him to reconsider his plans seeing that we were pregnant and would have to plan things accordingly but he refused.
I couldn’t believe him, so selfish, callous, and irresponsible. How could he expect me to continue the pregnancy knowing he was going to leave me with the baby..?! I made the decision to end the pregnancy Via medication termination. I was reliving my trauma again, being a single mother with two kids…I couldn’t fathom the thought. So I decided to end the pregnancy. Luckily the procedure wasn’t too bad..just very…different. However the emotional side was alot.
I felt two ways about it. I felt relieved but also as a mother to a 9 year old I felt sad knowing that my son would have adored his sibling. I then told my bf that I had taken the abortion medication and he called me all names…”killer”, murderer killing his baby, and he left me high and dry. I explained to him my reasons for having the abortion to which he replied, he would have changed his mind to stay in UK I gave him time to think. Now he hates me. No contact from him nor check up since then…it’s bn 12 days.
I feel so heartbroken knowing I’m mourning the loss of pregnancy as well as now possibly my relationship. My bf well possibly ex bf did not even care to see how I was doing or check on my well being. It’s been a hard 12 days for me, loads of ups and downs..hopefully with time it gets better.