I've cut my perineum and it won't stop bleeding

[Gumbo]

To be clear, I'm an idiot.

I cut my perineum this morning with an electric razor. It bled. Lots. And wouldn't stop... Oh, and I'm on blood thinners.

I'm now sitting in minor injuries, been triaged...and the lovely nurse has gone to get a teabag for me to press on it to try to get it to clot.

The shame....

Oh, that sounds painful :( i'm sorry. Glad you're getting medical attention. Don't be too hard on yourself, we've all had silly injuries.

Thank you. I'm now sitting in a cubicle with a soggy teabag pressed to my nether regions. Apparently the tannin does something to make it clot

I told nobody about this, even DH has no idea where I am (he's at work).

Oh Gumbo, you poor thing! Blood thinners can be such a pain in these situations.

Did you ever think you'd be teabagging your assicle on a Monday morning, though?

Well, the teabag worked - who knew? I spent 10 minutes with it pressed against the cut, and once it was fully brewed the bleeding had stopped!

It felt like I was being treated in the 1800s, but hats off to the nurses, they knew what they were doing!

Earl Grey or English Breakfast?

So glad it worked, because now I can chuckle!!
I didn't realise that was what tea bagging was 😆

At least next time you will know what to do and won't have to endure the indignity of A&E. Hopefully you will be on your way home soon.

Glad you’re sorted and now we all know what to do if we cut our perineums!

Don't worry OP, they'll have seen the same and worse! I was so close to calling out of hours one Saturday morning as I decided Friday night to try using a menstrual cup for the first time. Come morning it was no where to be found, no matter how much I relaxed or bore down. Thankfully DH managed to find and extract in a last ditch attempt (it had twisted side on right up the top, no way I could reach that high, he practically had his whole hand up there!). Haven't worn one since. Apparently that also happened to 2 of my friends, one of which did have to get it professionally extracted!

At least you weren't in the 'oh, I have no idea how (insert random object) managed to get up there, i must have fallen on it' crew.

I've no idea but I suspect it came from the nurses tea area so I doubt it was posh!

I'm home now, and I have no intention of ever mentioning this to anyone IRL. Ever.

Still, at least it kept the lovely nurses amused...

Wet or dry teabag? Sounds like a good thing to know about both for your unfortunate injury and those of us who are on blood thinning meds, particularly the older generation, of which I am one!

Genius!

Yorkshire tea - things done proper!

Oh poor you OP, I hope it heals soon for you and isn't too painful.

*mentally files Teabagging for minor cuts

Apologies, I should have been clearer. The nurse went to make a cup of black tea (no sugar) then took the wet teabag out, put it in a bowl and brought it to me to use (along with an array of towels, gowns, cotton wool and anything else she felt I might find useful).
I was in a (lockable) cubicle and told to press the teabag on the area for 10 minutes, and if it was still bleeding after that to press the call bell and they'd try something else.

I thought they might be trying out some sort of dare on me so I was astonished that the bleeding stopped! I may be a little in love with her now, she has magical powers...

It's a bit like the coke or pineapple juice trick for blocked feeding tubes. My colleagues looked at me like I'd grown two heads!

Glad it solved the problem. Enjoy explaining it to your husband.

What is this trick?!

So a hot, freshly used teabag?
makes mental note

??

If a feeding tube blocks, you can syringe either full fat coke or fresh pineapple juice down them. Something to do with the acid in it can undo the blockages.

Let it cool down or they might have to raid the staff room for more high tech equipment. What heals fanjo burns - maybe a rich tea biscuit?

Great trick @Toddlerteaplease . Are you a nurse?

To be clear - no scalding heat was involved!!! It was room temperature by the time I'd got my clothes off and worked out what to do...

@Toddlerteaplease i thought all us paeds nurses knew flat coke or pineapple juice trick!

TBF I'm not a nurse so that may explain my ignorance!