Is it normal to be borderline phobic of areas of my own body?

[bells2810]

I’m currently pregnant and just want to preface by saying how thankful I am to be pregnant and able bodied, and knowing all the amazing things my body is doing to grow a child. I’ve always been quite self conscious about my appearance during my teenage years and into early adulthood, but during pregnancy certain areas of my body that always made me uncomfortable have got even worse.

I have never liked my boobs (particularly nipples), belly button or genitals being touched. The only exception is with my partner but even then sometimes it makes me squirm if he touches my nipple. During pregnancy my boobs seem to have tripled in size, they’ve been so sore and I literally can’t stand to look at my nipples, it’s the same with my belly button especially since it popped with my growing bump, I genuinely can’t bear to look at it and it makes me feel guilty when I want to look at my bump and enjoy it. I also recently had thrush and wasn’t able to put the canesten cream on or to insert the pessary, I had to ask my partner to do it and it made me feel sick to my stomach. I’ve also never been able to use tampons. I had a really horrendous experience the first time I had a smear test, but other than that I can’t think of any trigger for these thoughts I have about my body, and have had since early adolescence.

I don’t know if this is common or if it’s some sort of body dysmorphia/phobia?

I wouldn't worry about whether it's normal. People have all kinds of issues about their bodies at different times in the lives and nothing you're saying sounds shocking to me.

I think the important thing is that the feelings seem to be getting worse and are worrying you. The situation with the thrush treatment seems a bit concerning because you don't want to have to rely on anyone else for necessities like treatment of medical issues. What if your partner is away at work or gets sick?

It sounds likely that these recent changes are related to your pregnancy but even so, that doesn't mean you don't deserve some relief.

Why not contact your GP and ask for help in getting counselling? There's likely a long wait, so I'd get on it now. Even if you don't feel like addressing these issues right now, you'll probably have months to think them through. And there may be more changes once you give birth, so I really think it would pay to prepare all the help you can.

I don't know where you live, but there may also be support groups out there. Maybe even online (I'd ask at your GP to find out if anyone can suggest any). You could try contacting some to find out what kind of group might be appropriate.

Overall, it seems like you're wondering whether this is a valid problem to have. It is. You deserve help. This has been going on most of your life. Many people have these issues (the one about a traumatic experience with a tampon haunted me for years as a teen but somehow righted itself). You're not weird and there's nothing wrong with wanting to solve something that's bothering you.

Do you think more than psychological, this could be a sensory thing?
Every one has a different level of sensitivity threshold and some people have SPD (sensory processing disorder).

You could perhaps check out some websites about sensory integration and find a few ways to desensitise your nervous system before you need to do anything of the things worrying you.

For example, before a child who is sensory averse brushes their teeth, they might be advised to brush the inside of their cheeks first to get the system used to it. Or say for someone who hates the sensory feeling of having their hair cut, would be advised to massage their own scalp with their fingertips first to ‘dampen down’ that over heightened sensory feeling.

Brushing your body or doing pushing/pulling exercises can also give your body a bit more of a hand calming the nervous system down.