So embarrassed but am leaking all the time

[tootiefruitie6]

I am so embarrassed and fed up and down with a problem I don't feel able to talk to anyone about. I had my second baby 9 months ago and from fairly early after the birth I have been having problems with bladder incontinence. I hoped it would get better with time but if anything it seems particularly bad recently. Goodness knows how much I am spending on pads but I have to wear one all the time and change them regularly and if I don't I can leak through my trousers. I have tried to do my pelvic floors but with two children and lots going on they have fallen by the wayside often. I did have a bladder scan about three months after the birth due to some pregnancy complications but it showed no bladder damage so I was referred to a physio but haven't received an appointment. I am still breastfeeding and have heard that can make things worse but I feel so scared I'm going to be stuck with this problem for life and sooner or later I'm going to find myself in an embarrassing situation. It's really getting me down and I just don't know what to do. I don't ever have much sensation of needing the toilet, I tend to just constantly leak instead. I can go to the toilet and still leak 5 minutes later. It's not even just when I cough or run or whatever but anytime, I don't know what to do but I am sitting here feeling like sobbing as I've been burying my head in the sand but this problem really is very bad and I'm so worried I'll be stuck like this.

You can definitely be helped so don’t despair. I had a bladder repair after my Dd was born as similar issues. Also purchased a kegel 8 afterwards which did make a difference and easier than trying to do them manually. I would go back to your gp and explain how bad it is and see if this speeds things up. Be aware that with the op you are out of action for several weeks so need help if you have little ones as you’re not allowed to lift anything for 6 weeks.

Yes please go back to GP. You don’t need to accept this as new normal.

Thanks both. @Wizzelina what does the op involve and what do they do? Is it a full on general anaesthetic and stay in hospital? Did you have to wait ages and jump through lots of hoops first? Are you fully back to normal now? Sorry for all the questions...I don't know exactly what is happening with me but I feel like I'm never going to be back to normal again. We had potentially wanted three children also but I feel like I'd also be stupid to ever consider a third with this problem.

If you are in the West Country I can recommend a brilliant pelvic health physio, who does NHS and private work. I didn’t have leakage, but I found her really helpful for my issues

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you may benefit being referred to a urogynacologist through your GP. Google it and see if it fits what you're experiencing. Wishing you the very best.

Thanks all. @MissPiggysPinkDress unfortunately I am in South West London so not close to there. And @Livebythecoast a urogynacologist sounds exactly what I need.

Follow @gussiegrips on Twitter, she's amazing with pelvic floor exercises every woman should be doing

@tootiefruitie6 you poor thing, it's miserable isn't it. I struggled with this after my third baby.

See your GP and ask for a referral to a physio who deals with these issues. I had physio on my muscles down there and it fixed the problem without surgery. The physio was all external, it's some sort of painless electrical muscle stimulation, the name for which I can't remember. But it worked, 25 years later I have no issues.

I know it's so hard to find the time but the exercises will really help. Could you do them when you're lying down at night maybe watching TV or just before bed? It's hard to find the time and remember but it really is the best thing, I'd be trying that first. Also, see if there's any postnatal physio classes near you. I would be doing that first before even thinking about surgery, that seems extreme if scan was clear. It takes six weeks to build muscle so it would be another six weeks after that to gain strength in it so you won't notice a change for a while which I think throws people and makes them give up but if you stick with it you will see improvements xx

Also, make sure you're doing them correctly, as in squeezing the right muscles. A postnatal physio can check that.
Also important to do the three different kinds so slow hold, fast hold and then a sort of in between one where you 'go up the floors' xx

In the meantime, get some washable period underwear. The Uniqlo ones are amazing.

Hello, sorry you’re having such a crappy time, I’m in the same boat (3.5 months post partum though) and know the effect it has mentally. I also have urgency with bowels.

I’m not exclusively breastfeeding (probably only about 25% now) and my period has come back - what I’ve noticed is that when my period starts, after a few days my supply temporarily reduces and I also see quite a big improvement in my symptoms for over a
week (I can get away with wearing quite a thin tena lady whereas before my period I am wearing the biggest ones 24/7 and changing really regularly). The link this has to my drop in supply gives me hope that perhaps when I stop breastfeeding it will be better.

I also had a cousin who had this and it took about 2 years to fully heal. So I’m clinging on to hope at the minute.

wishing you all the best and that you see improvement soon x

What everyone else has said. And period pants were actually originally designed for incontinence, so you may want to consider these.
If you can afford it, I’d consider a private Physio specializing in this if you can find one.

@tootiefruitie6 apologies for delayed response - have been working away. First op under general, where they lifted my bladder, sutured into place and removed excess vaginal skin that had overstretched. In hospital a couple of days. Returned home no lifting/driving for minimum 6 weeks. Have since had bowel prolapse repair and bladder again but under local. Second repair really due to age and damage caused initially by 30+ hours labour, prolonged pushing and forceps delivery. Added to which DD (now 30) got stuck in final phase then diagnosed with complications which involved airlift so no rest for me! Having said that, the repairs were only done after the physical therapy showed no results. Was done privately as bladder was bulging from vagina so couldn’t really wait too long! Wasn’t painful but catheter was uncomfortable and took about 3 weeks to start retraining bladder after op.

Join the club, I'm on Mirabegron & have had Botox in the past, due to the pandemic I haven't had Botox for over 3 years. I've got covid at the moment, had a bout of coughing this morning & managed to lose a full bladder of urine. I am stuck wearing pullups at the moment, I hate it, I love nice underwear & feel like a granny, not a 56 year old women.