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Women's health

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Vaginal pain, too embarrassed to talk to DH

3 replies

guidedbythelightt · 11/11/2022 19:34

DH and I haven't had a lot of sex since DC2 made an appearance a few years ago. I've been quite unwell and we also have a disabled DC who takes up a lot of our time.

We tried recently and he couldn't get it in and it was extremely painful for me, as in made cry painful.

We thought maybe I was quite dry so we bought some lube and it made no difference. Still agony.

I have health anxiety so am hesitant generally about seeing doctors, especially about gynae things and I just find it all a bit overwhelming.

DH now wants to have 'a talk' about sex, and probably why I've been avoiding it, but the fact is I am just petrified of being in pain again. I have tried to explain it, but I don't think he realises how bad it was. He doesn't hear it and just hears rejection. He asks me for sex every day, because he says if he doesn't then we will never have it, so I spend the whole day on edge waiting for him to ask me. I don't want to live like this. I want my days to not be filled with dread, or pain.

I love my DH but I don't think he is going to understand this, and I don't know how to get out of this situation. Well, I do. I should see the GP. But I'm terrified.

Can anyone help me with how to word all this to him in a way that is categorically not about rejecting him. Because all he hears is that.

And if anybody else has had this issue please tell me what you did and if it got better? Thank you.

(I'm a v regular poster but have name changed for this)

OP posts:
wtfisgoingonhere21 · 11/11/2022 19:45

This happened to a friend of mine and she was referred to hospital.

She had some fusion just inside which was causing excruciating pain which then created a phycological issue for her.

She had a very straight forward procedure and saw a cbt person a couple of times to help her relax and she's absolutely fine now

Suzi888 · 11/11/2022 19:47

Sorry to be graphic but does this happen if you drive solo, as in is it physical or mental do you think?

Hugasauras · 11/11/2022 19:49

Oh OP, you shouldn't be scared of telling your husband that sex hurts and is uncomfortable! And he shouldn't be pushing you for it every day and making you feel bad about it. That's not a loving and healthy relationship. My husband would never want me to do something that was sore or uncomfortable for me.

I think it would be good for you to see the doctor though.

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