Severe incontinence after birth

[BathtimeScroller]

I’ve read all the threads I can find on incontinence but wanted to see if anyone else came out of the woodwork to give me hope.

I gave birth to my first dd 11 weeks ago (was induced for pre eclampsia. 2 hours pushing and then had to go to theatre for retained placenta. Had catheter too). When they took the catheter out the next morning I found that every time I stood up I’d completely piss myself. Got referred to physio who told me to do pelvic floors.

gradually after a few weeks it got slightly better - went from adult nappies to huge tena ladies to a medium sized tena lady. Then the physio asked me to up my pelvic floors to 25 short holds and 25 long holds 3 x a day (so basically 75 of each per day). A few days later it started getting worse again.

Went to a private physio who said my pelvic floor wasn’t relaxing enough and reduced it down to 10 short and 10 long, twice a day. But it’s got no better, despite relaxing pelvic floor more. Took a break for a week and it’s got no better and now I feel like it’s as bad as it was when I left hospital. Saw the NHS physio yesterday and she said to carry on with the 75 of each a day. They will refer me to urogynaecology if it’s still the same in a month.

has anyone else had similar? does anyone have anything to suggest? I literally saturated 2 pads during a pub lunch the other day and it ended up going through to my dress a bit (luckily couldn’t see it through the pattern on the dress!). It’s ruining my time with dd.

does anyone have any hope that I won’t be like this forever?

You poor thing, that sounds awful. Could you ask the GP to refer you now in case there's a wait for an appointment?

Thanks for replying, yeah it’s not brilliant! Funnily enough it has been better again this week, only have a problem when lifting at the moment. You’re right though, maybe I should see if the GP has a different opinion

God love you. I had a very similar experience. I can still recall vividly the red hot shame of wetting myself in front of my husband after being decatheterised (though he literally could not have been lovelier about it).

I would say it took a good 12 weeks postpartum to feel more in control of my pelvic floor, and I was so worried that whole time. I actually bought a kegel8 exerciser, and I feel it has made a difference.

Do not let this one drop -- push for referrals and specialist help until you get the outcome you need. Sending empathy and best wishes your way.

Thanks so much @MalteserGeezee - it helps knowing you’ve been through it (not that I’d wish it on anyone!). Are you back to normal-ish now? When did you give birth?
I’m not sure I’ll ever be fully back to normal but I’m envious of the people who only leak when they sneeze or go on a trampoline 😂

Have heard of the Kegel8 - I’ll speak to the physio about it at my appointment next weekend

Are you seeing a specialist women's physio? Pelvic floor is also supported by deep transverse stomach muscles (or something like that!) so you may need to / could add exercises to strengthen that as well as traditional pelvic floor. Also to make sure you're doing pelvic floors properly - have they talked you through 'the knack' or how to brace yourself / turn on the muscles before you do anything (stand, sit, lift, reach etc)?

Have you been examined for prolapse?

I haven't done this but you can get something called a Mummy MOT with a physio where they will check your pelvic floor by putting their fingers inside you. They also do lots of other helpful things. Might be worth it as they will be able to give you a much more specific and targeted plan and will be able to tell you what's really going wrong.

Kegal 8 is well worth buying.
But try Elaine Miller website (Gusset Grippers) first.
She's a woman physiotherapist and brilliant l.

I'm so sorry, I really don't know if this will help, but I've been recommended a Perifit for my pelvic floor (which I've yet to afford) but they do get good reviews!

I had terrible incontinence after giving birth. I am now in my sixties and don't leak much at all. Please give it time.
I was told also many years ago that orgasms help.

Thanks all, I’m going to look into all the advice/products mentioned! I think maybe I should start trying to strengthen stomach muscles

I do have a slight vaginal prolapse but apparently it’s only minor so I don’t think that’s what’s causing the incontinence. They have questioned whether it might be nerve damage caused by 2 hours of pushing, and nerves apparently take months/years to heal

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0851GXDK9?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_ts_8J5A00Z53FTA4YA5W6AY

This is book is totally brilliant, both on practical stuff and encouragement and a hand hold.

Thank you @DrivingHomeForChristmaaargh Going to order it now!

hoping one day I’ll have a functioning bladder again!

Mm I know a bit of incontinence is normal following vaginal births but I'm also skeptical of most womens health advice that advocates just "waiting a little bit longer".... I don't know anyone who had to use adult nappies after a routine birth apart from one friend who had a 4,th degree tear and both fecal and urinary incontinence.

I reckon you might be on to something with the nerve damage. Did you have eg an episiotomy or instrumental? Or any prior nerve or muscular issues?

I just feel you're being given the brush off.

@Goawayangryman you’re right, I don’t know anyone else who’s had it this bad either. It’s not been as bad the past few weeks but I still wouldn’t be able to not wear a tena lady 24/7

if it is nerve damage then it’s pretty much just a waiting game to see if they heal on their own I think. Could take 2 years. I didn’t have any instruments but was pushing for 2 hours so it would possibly be a case of crushed nerves rather than severed. 2nd degree tear also.

Dare I ask how your friend is now?

@BathtimeScroller - I am 2 weeks post partum and also struggling with severe incontinence. Now you’re 3ish months since last posting, how are you doing? Any improvements?

@magicravioli sorry to hear that, it’s such an awful shock when it first happens and I really do feel for you.

overall yes I am slowly improving. My period came back at about 3 months pp and I’ve noticed that my symptoms are completely dependent on my cycle. From the second day of my period until ovulation I’m almost like a normal person, a bit of leakage sometimes with lifting the baby. Then the second half of my cycle my symptoms gradually get worse and sometimes I’ll still leak when walking.

i’ve just stopped breastfeeding yesterday and apparently that may lead to some more improvement.

I’ve spent hours and hours scrolling Facebook groups etc looking for answers and it seems like for some people healing can take up to 2 years post partum. But you being only 2 weeks, honestly that’s so so early. There are some people who only have issues the first few weeks and then they are pretty much back to normal! Are you leaking when standing and walking?

@BathtimeScroller yes, walking is the worst. I am at least no longer gushing when I stand up, “just” leaking, but going for a walk further than around the house means I need to change the incontinence pants when I get home. It’s just so dispiriting, I thought I’d only have one set of nappies to change with a new baby. I have just been diagnosed with a UTI too which I think has set me back and made the leaking worse.

I’m so glad to hear your symptoms are improving, gives me a bit of hope! Did you end up using any pelvic floor trainers, or just the squeezy app?

@magicravioli yes it’s certainly a shock feeling like you’ve got the same continence as the newborn isn’t it!! A UTI may definitely be worsening it so I hope it gets better when you’ve treated that.

I was just using the Squeezy app but I think I overdid the exercises and then my muscles became hypertonic (which means they are tight and short but weak). So I don’t do many at all now. If you can afford even one session with a private Women’s health physiotherapist I would recommend it as they can usually get a bit of an idea of what the problem is by examining you. My NHS one hasn’t been great. I’ve bought a kegel8 but not used it yet as it may not be good for a hypertonic pelvic floor.

I’d also suggest taking it easy and building up walking very slowly. Try not to lift more than the baby (easier said than done). For example I completely stopped carrying around the car seat, it’s too heavy. Baby was always lifted straight from car into pram.

I’ve just started Pilates to help strengthen the rest of my body and I try and eat enough protein to help the muscles heal. Ive got a lot of healing still to do but it is manageable most of the time now. I left the hospital in adult nappies and now there are some days I wear a “normal” size tena lady which is fine. Only one weekend in the past month have I had to wear a really huge tena pad and it seems like other people have said that their healing started with good days increasing and bad days reducing. There’s a group on Facebook called Prolapse Post Partum Mom’s Club which I’d recommend joining as there’s some positive stories in there!

Hi,

I'm 12 weeks post partum and having similar issues. With me i can't seem to get to the toilet time, it trickles down. Never had any issues after my last pregnancy. Considering I had a csec, I thought it only happened after a vaginal birth, but apparently not.

@MadamMaltesers its less common with C section but does happen. Was it an emergency c section? If you went into labour that may have been a factor as baby’s head could’ve still descended.

if it’s not severe I’d say you’ll probably be fine after a month or two

Hi ladies how are you all getting on? I’m in a similar boat but with constant leaking after giving birth 15 weeks ago…

@AlwaysAnonymous slowly getting better but it’s been a long journey. I think around 7 months post partum is when I started to see in improvement. I believe it’s nerve damage and takes a while to heal.

so sorry that you are also on this journey. Most of the time now it’s pretty much just stress incontinence (when sneezing, coughing or lifting something badly) but I still do have a bad week around ovulation where it still happens when standing and walking (albeit not as constant as a few months ago). Have you noticed any pattern or triggers?

have been in touch with 2 other women who are 16 months and 27 months post partum and they are both doing better and not having to wear pads every day. There is hope

Thanks so much for getting back to me @BathtimeScroller, I know exactly what you mean, I remember sitting feeding my son a few days after he was born, I coughed and didn’t feel any leakage, I thought ‘amazing, I’ve managed to avoid stress incontinence!’ Little did I know incontinence comes in many different forms! I have no idea when I’m leaking, no sensation at all and peeing fine so I’m wondering if it’s nerve damage too. I know I need to be patient but am finding it difficult as I’m constantly reminded of the issue. I’ve read forum after forum on incontinence and as you say, most is stress based and a lot of posters said they were fine within a few weeks which makes it feel worse! Knowing that there’s others who have unfortunately been through it too makes it a bit more bearable and reading that it does get better (but it comes with time) does give me hope… how often did you do pelvic floor exercises and did you do any during your pregnancy? I didn’t and majorly regret it now! I’ve not noticed any patterns yet but have read drinking caffeine and heavy lifting can make it worse both of which I’ve been doing recently so trying to cut back on both.

@AlwaysAnonymous i totally get it, I actually had NO idea you could get incontinence like this from childbirth.

I also had less sensation, and even now my sensation isn’t back to normal. My bladder seems to go from 0 to 100 in urgency! Which definitely seems to be linked to nerves, judging by the reading I’ve done

i know what you mean, it certainly doesn’t go away after a couple of weeks for some of us. There’s a great Facebook group called Post Partum Prolapse Mom’s Group which saved my sanity - I do have slight prolapse but I don’t think my leaking is related to it, nonetheless there are a lot of people in this group who have incontinence and other issues and their healing seems to continue until 2 years post partum (and sometimes longer).

have you been to any gynaes or physios and if so have they suggested what your specific problem might be? Not that my physios have been of much use to be honest!

I do pelvic floor exercises but I’m careful not to overdo them because at one point I did too many and think it made it worse. As for caffeine, I’ve cut it out twice - after birth for 5 weeks and then in January for a month. Drank just water. It helped in the sense that I didn’t need to pee as often so didn’t leak as often, but no longer term benefits. Although I would like to get back to just drinking water as my bladder could probably do with any extra help it can get! Do feel free to private message me by the way!