I’ve not posted on mumsnet before but have been reading posts for about the last 10 months. I had my first baby 11 months ago at the age of 36. I was so anxious throughout my pregnancy that something would go wrong and asked the midwife to refer me to the consultant to discuss caesarean. Mainly because I’m a bit older and because I am extremely slim I worried there would be difficulties. I requested multiple times and this was never actioned until the day before I gave birth I ended up going in with bleeding but caesarean was never mentioned. When I asked the midwife about prolapses and after effects of giving birth she told me she had only seen 1 prolapse in 12 years of working as a midwife. I stupidly believed her. Well anyway I was in such a state with anxiety I was literally frozen. I’m normally quite a proactive person but this was too anxiety provoking for me. So ended up spontaneously going into labour the day after I saw consultant. It was quite fast labour and a small 6 pound baby but have done serious damage. I don’t think the midwife recognised how far along I was. When she finally checked she said 9.5cm and to start pushing. But she was very aggressive in telling me to hold my breathe and push etc it was very unpleasant. I wonder if I was in 2nd stage longer and it wasn’t recognised I don’t know. What’s concerning is when the baby was far down and she asked my partner to come and see the baby’s head and then she said one more push and it will be here, give me the biggest push ever. There was no small pushes or breaths to allow tissues to accommodate. But I was just listening to her and doing what she told me. She then also put examination jelly on my vagina to make the baby come out even faster? Has anyone heard of this? I was told very minimal damage only one small cut and 2 grazes that needed sutured which she did. Immediately I recognised that my pelvic floor felt awful I could hardly walk, but was just told it was because I gave birth and they kept telling me this for weeks. Since giving birth I have been completely unable to have a bowel motion normally. The stool moves to my rectum and causes a pressure sensation in my vagina, but on trying to pass it, my anterior vaginal wall bulges instead. I immediately knew I had serious problems and told 2 different midwifes who both said I don’t have a prolapse and I’m constipated. I knew I’m not constipated as stool going into rectum every day and I had to splint or poke it out. Even if the stool is very soft. I then went to GP 2 weeks later who also said I am probably constipated and prescribed laxatives. Was referred to nhs physio and had telephone appointment and told to do exercises. This was going on and on, pelvic floor felt so heavy and hanging down, bulge at the front and unable to poo. Went to physio in person who examined me and said no rectocele and to do pelvic floor relaxation as she thinks my muscles are tight. I went and saw a different GP about 2 or 3 months after the birth with all this still going on. She examined my vagina and bum and said no prolapses. Said I need to relax and do art therapy etc to help me relax. So this has all been going on for months by now, they know I can no longer pass stools normally but still not helping me. I should add that I’m a doctor myself and have been absolutely shocked at the care I have received throughout my pregnancy and post partum. Finally saw a gynaecologist who was in the room next door to my physio appt in April which the physio said was to reassure me - well she said that I have a cystole after everyone else saying I haven’t. This was examined lying down. She said no rectocele. Gave me a cube pessary and no information about it and said the prolapse will go back in with exercises (which I had been told not to do by physio as they wanted me to relax my pelvic floor). I then attended another nhs physio for biofeedback for the bowel 6 months after the birth. She assessed again and says to do exercises so started doing them again. She also referred me to pelvic floor doctor due to defaecation problems. Initially they weren’t going to see me and said don’t see women til at least 9 months post partum. But managed to convince them I needed see . He saw me and said rectocele and prob other things sent for proctogram which I had 10 months post partum. Just got result yesterday from physio which shows a rectocele and perineal descent. No appointment with the pelvic floor doc have phoned secretary but they are fed up of me. So I’m left 24 hours a day with feeling of my bum hanging down, something up my bum, unable to pass wind or bowel movement, very lax vagina, front wall literally hanging outside, can’t lift or be active or all this is worse. When I try to poo it feels like I’m just pushing my vagina and bum out, not their contents. The physio gave me a rectal irrigation set to try and it does help a bit but I don’t want to be left like this. 11 months now I haven’t seen or spoken to anyone just been at home as I can’t face anyone like this. Not even told my mum or partners parents. Not got any support to look after the baby as family all hours away. I have been reading the posts on here but I have given up hope as I’m scared the operations won’t help and I will have damaged my body even more for nothing. But at same time can’t be left like this. I was so active before, walking for miles, out enjoying dinner etc now I can’t do anything because of all this. Has anyone else got perineal descent and had any kind of treatment? I don’t see how any of the operations I’ve read about can help with anything because it’s all hanging so low, I don’t know how they can elevate it. The problem is I’m so thin and prob not much tissue to attach anything to? I honestly can’t believe I have been allowed to get into this mess and feel like nobody really cares or can help.