Tearing during sex

[Duke4]

I get a painful tear every time I have sex. It’s at the site of a previous episiotomy. Oddly it didn’t start to happen until several years post partum. I was referred to a consultant a few years ago, who said as he could insert a smear thingy without a tear, it should be fine, just use lubricant. Despite using lubricant it continued so I booked to see another GP. He had a look and said there’s nothing to refer for, though he could see the thinning area. So I left it.

Meanwhile I infrequently have sex and every time I do, experience a painful tear. Is this something I should just accept? I can’t really afford to go private.

Go back and push for another referral to a specialist insist on it

Really? I sort of tried last time. Even enquired if I could benefit from hormone cream. He said not at my age (43).

How old are you Op ? If anywhere near menopause, it can cause thinning of the skin down there . I had a spontaneous tear inside my labia 🙄 it was so sore ! Doctor gave me steroid cream and it healed pretty quickly.

I've heard that low vit c can affect old scars and make them break down.

I’m 43 but this has been ongoing to about 5 years. I’ve tried steroid creams as GP initially suspected lichen sclerosis. That’s why I referred to a consultant initially as alongside the tearing I also had symptoms pointing to LS. Apparently I don’t have it. I’m just left with tearing and pain. I had wondered if it’s perimenopause related, though apart from night sweats, I don’t have other symptoms

Have you had a blood test for menopause?

I don't know but I am following this thread because I have the same thing.

There are no blood tests for (peri)menopause. They can measure follicle stimulating hormone, but that doesn't align perfectly with anything much.

You can be diagnosed from symptoms, of which night sweats is a major one. I certainly have had little tears since perimenopause.

I’m in my late 20s, had a baby last year and I tear every time we have sex in the same place where I had an episiotomy, no matter how much lube I use, it’s horrific and takes around 4 days to heal, however doctors won’t do anything about it no matter how many times I complain, just keep telling me it’s normal as I’ve had a baby recently 😞

You are almost certainly in perimenopause at 43. There should be no reason that you can't be prescribed vaginal oestrogen at your age. Go back to your GP and insist on a prescription for Ovestin. Or you could get it online from Superdrug, it's not particularly expensive and it's worth trying to see if replacong the oestrogen down there helps the thinning.

Following for advice as this happens to me too. I am already on HRT and vagifem so not sure what else I can do.

No I’ve had no test for menopause.

Thank you I’ll order some!

This happens to me and I've never had children.

I've seen the GP for it and finally been given a referral but have to wait 34 weeks for the appointment.

You have my sympathies, it's so shit. I put off having sex all the time just because of the recovery process. We have tried every single lube, sex position and cream under the sun to no avail.

Although funnily enough I can never feel the pain of the tear during sex, only one we've finished.

Sorry just to add, was prescribed Estrogel and it made no difference.

Following as I have the same, but on the opposite side to where I had an episiotomy.

not every time, but often enough that I’ve gone off sex almost entirely

@strawberrysea
Im the same, don’t feel it happening, just the stinging afterwards. It’s really unpleasant. I use coconut oil to ease the pain but nothing prevents it from happening

@Duckington
Same. It’s like I know I’m going to pay for it so I’d rather not in the first place