Genital herpes question

[YellowStar76]

I’ve NC for this post for obvious reasons.

I’m 23 and my son was admitted into NICU for 6 weeks when I had him a few months ago. I was just re reading his discharge summery now and their was a sentence that said, ‘mum previously had CMV infection.’ I had absolutely no clue what that was so I went onto google and it says, ‘CMV is related to the herpes virus that causes cold sores and chicken pox.’ As soon as I read that, it all came back to me.

When I was 17 I went to the GP I was having irritation down below. I now remember the GP observed me, said I had genital herpes and that was it. He prescribed me some antibiotics at the time and just said, ‘this this for X amount of days and it’ll go away.’ This sound really irresponsible but I didn’t know much about genital herpes and just assumed it was like any other STI where you take medication for it and you’re basically cured.

It’s only when I’ve googled it that I’ve read that this is a virus that stays in your body forever as it can’t be treated. I’m really horrified. Does this mean that every single person I’ve had unprotected sex with, I’ve given (or potentially given) them genital herpes?? Surely not?! If that’s the case that means I’ve given DP genital herpes and he has absolutely no clue….

Has anyone gone through something similar or have any advice on how to go about moving forward? I feel so dirty and horrible, I feel completely blindsided too

Hey,

The virus does stay in your body, however it's only transmissible when you have breakouts so unless you've had breakouts of it and then had sex with someone you won't have passed it on.

It's nothing to be ashamed of or horrified by a lot of people will get it in the life (and I know a few who have it) and they just take extra care when they have a breakout. For example I think they use Epsom salts in the bath help with painful breakouts.

Seems to be okay as you haven't mentioned any breakouts since having the antibiotics, but I would avoid having sex when you have a breakout and maybe talking to DP if you feel comfortable. If you're still concerned / confused I would double check with GP that you definitely had it.

I'm so sorry they didn't give you any information or advise, but I hope this helps!

I was diagnosed years ago with it and I never knew who or where I caught it from . It’s pretty blindsiding I agree and doesn’t make you feel great . I only knew cause your first outbreak is usually the worst and mine was bad and had no idea about herpes. They also gave me a bulk supply so doesn’t seem that unusual now.

I had a few outbreaks over the years, small one ‘spot’ and with a few tablets went away quickly . I seem to have the odd outbreak when I’m really stressed or run down and had an outbreak just after I had covid. Doctor sent me medication via post which was good.

you can only pass it on if you had sex with an outbreak and open sores. My partner knows and I just say ‘Iv had a flare up’ he’s know what I’m on about without having to say it.he didn’t give me it and had no idea I even had it til that first outbreak. You can have it for years and never know. I was told it’s really common and no one ever talks about it .

Don't worry OP, it's perfectly possible that you haven't given it to your DP. I've had herpes for almost 20 years and had unprotected sex with DH for about 7 of those years and he doesn't appear to have it - he's never had any symptoms anyway.

@YellowStar76 CMV is not nor related to genital herpes in any way. It’s a virus that causes chicken pox or cold sores.. most people have had cmv. It is on your maternity notes because it is only dangerous if you get it whilst pregnant and so the fact you were infected with cmv before pregnancy is good

Thank you for the comments guys. A lot of information here has been reassuring.

I am not trying to think if I’ve ever had a breakout and just not known what it was or possible ignored it. I’ll be keeping an eye out and if anything, I’ll pass by the sexual health clinic for them to examine and possible re diagnose me.

Just the thought of it makes me feel so dirty and I know I’ll have to let DP know too

CMV is not genital herpes, so the comment in your notes wasn't related to that. Neither does it cause chicken pox (varicella zoster) or cold sores (herpes simplex 1 - genital herpes is usually HSV2). You probably had a blood test that showed you'd had CMV (cytomegalovirus). It can be dangerous to the foetus if you contract it during pregnancy.
The herpes is a separate issue, and yes, that can stay dormant & pop up every now & then (& can be asymptomatic).

Well I’ve never had cold sores. I’ve had chicken pox but I was like 5. Regardless of what CMV is, when I saw the mention of herpes I remembered that I had genital herpes when I was younger

I work in sexual health. CMV is NOT related in any way to either herpes or chicken pox.

If you were diagnosed with an STI and given antibiotics to treat it, it would not have been herpes. Herpes is a viral STI and we only prescribe antibiotics for bacterial infections, so this would have been either chlamydia or gonorrhoea. Or it could possibly have been bacterial vaginosis (which isn’t an STI but can cause irritation and discharge). From what you describe, it doesn’t sound like you have herpes at all, so I wouldn’t worry about it. If you’re still concerned, just go for a check up at the sexual health clinic or ring and ask if there is a nurse or health advisor who could answer any questions you have. Alternatively, you could ask to have your GP records so you can see what you actually had back then.

Oh, yes, missed the antibiotics bit. No doctor would ever prescribe antibiotics for herpes!

Really, no antibiotics for genital herpes?? Maybe it was genital warts instead?

Now I’m confused so I think I’ll just go for a check up tbh.

CMV is NOT related in any way to either herpes or chicken pox. This is what I kept reading on Google tho, even on the NHS’ site.

So in a nutshell, what is CMV??

CMV us a cold like type virus that many people have without knowing

i caught it while pregnant from my young son we believe as it’s common in nurseries ( just think cold, snotty noses etc)

bloid screening confirmed it.
it’s only dangerous in pregnancy as it can cause miscarriage and severe congenital disabilities inc deafness and kidney issuers among other things go the baby

You wouldn't get antibiotics for genital warts either as that's viral too.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/cytomegalovirus-cmv/

This says its related to the other viruses not that CMV causes cold sores or chickenpox.

CMV is part of the herpes family of viruses, that is where some confusion creeps in. No virus should be treated with an antibiotic.

I have it
it’s actually not that big a deal when you control it
I have tons of antivirals but as it’s friction caused I’ve shaved everything off below and use natural almond oil

I sometimes forget I have it to be honest and use
condoms

it’s very stigmatised , far more than cold
sores for example

my friends been with her husband for 25 years he has it , she’s never once had it

it’s never great news
but not a life changer either

I think if you were told you had genital herpes it is likely this is what you had and that the treatment you were given was antivirals rather than antibiotics - they would seem very similar - a course of tablets several times a day for 5 days?

If you had herpes you would know about it as it’s quite painful and reoccurs from time to time generally if you’re run down. Like people say you can only pass it on if you have a current infection.

Google fordyce spots and see what you think

sexual health clinic can tell you for sure though

Oh yes now they do look similar to fordyce spots as well, hmm i went to sexual health clinic for pill repeat the other day i should have gotten it seen too but didn't think anything of it.

oh i see, now it's not very painful just know it's there due to the spots i see.

@positivevibesx can you not get a sensitive content block put over those photos?

i will have a look not sure how though as i am new here.

do you know how to do it please?