Don't know if I want answers or just empathy

[wellhelloitsme]

Heavy, painful, fucking periods.

I am so sick of them. Sick and fucking tired of them.

They are even worse when you're TTC so it's a physical reminder of the emotional distress of yet another month.

Doctor keeps saying it's 'just' heavy periods and to rest up when it's bad. Which is for five full days every month plus a further two less bad days at the end. Thank god I work for myself and from home, or I don't know what I would do.

Today is day three of this month's period and despite lying down (between changes) I am currently changing a super tampon every 45- 60 mins because by that time it's soaked through, has 1-3 very dark jellyish clots (each around the size of a 10p coin) attached and has flooded the entire tampon string right to the end and fresh blood all over the pad I also have to wear to try to minimise the amount of stuff I ruin every month.

Ditto lying on a dark towel for an extra barrier between tampon, towel, pants, clothing and any surface unfortunate enough for me to sit / lie on. Cocodamol not touching the pain. One tampon lasted less 15 mins earlier this morning.

Im so fucking sick of it. I took a picture of a 45 min full tampon with one of the clots to show my GP as they seem so dismissive, despite usually being very helpful on other issues. Will see if the picture makes any difference. I was given mefenamic acid but unfortunately it made me vomit each time and I can't have the alternative as it would interfere with my epilepsy medication.

If I'm dismissed or fobbed off again, is it worth me paying for a private appointment with a specialist? Especially considering we are TTC?

How is there this much stuff inside me that it is coming out at this rate?!

I haven't name changed for this as don't want to be mistaken for a period troll!

Any advice or just solidarity welcome.

Feeling very sorry for myself 😞

Oh god, that sounds awful.

Mine was cured by a Mirena coil but that's no use to you if you're trying for a baby. Have you seen a gynaecologist about it? I'd ask for a private referral if you can - we did this for DD2 and she's been diagnosed with endometriosis.

I used to be housebound with my periods, especially after visiting my Dad one day and standing up to go...... and gushing out all over his very beautiful antique rug in the living room. He was terrified and wanted to call an ambulance bless him, and couldn't believe that I said this was normal for me.

It's utterly miserable, and you absolutely have my empathy

You indeed have my empathy as I suffered similarly with periods so I would also urge you to seek answers rather than just trying to treat the symptoms.

Both endometriosis and fibroids can cause heavy bleeding to arise and you should have been referred rather than being told its "just heavy periods". That is them fobbing you off and failing you. In view of the pain you're getting as well endometriosis is a possible cause. Endometriosis is usually diagnosed via a laparoscopy which is a keyhole surgery op. I would keep a daily pain and symptom diary noting all bleeding and pain on a scale from 1-10 particularly if you do not already do this.

I would now make a written complaint to the GPs practice manager. I would also consider registering with another GP practice as you have not got anywhere really with them to date.

re your comment:
"I'm dismissed or fobbed off again, is it worth me paying for a private appointment with a specialist? Especially considering we are TTC?"

Yes because this could well affect your ability to conceive. Waiting lists for gynaecology appointments on the NHS are a mile long at present so I would make an appointment as a private patient as soon as you are able.

Your experiences are not normal and I'm appalled but not surprised that you're not being taken seriously by your GP.

Definitely demand a gynae referral or go private if you can afford to.

In the meantime, look up the Gynae Doctor for solidarity.

I had awful heavy periods because I had a massive fibroid which I had to have removed in order to be able to conceive.

it might be hard but if you can insist you are referred for a scan to see if you have fibroids I think it would be a very sensible plan.

huge good luck!

Thank you so much for replying, I could cry hearing people validate how shit it is.

Poor you at your dads, isn't it awful that what should be terrifying (loads of blood gushing out of us!) is so normalised that we are expected (including by ourselves) to just get on with it? Your poor dad I bet he couldn't believe it.

It's the same with my partner, he's so lovely and so kind. He is pretty aghast now he's seen what a heavy period (and then some) is like that we are just expected to crack on.

And I don't think he perhaps realised before meeting me how debilitating period pain can be for some people.

I'm so desperate to have a baby and sometimes during my worst cramps I think oh bloody hell (literally) labour is going to be a thousand times more painful than this! But worth it, obviously.

This is brilliant advice (yours always is!) and I'll get on the case with a diary. I think during covid we got used to being fobbed off and because my GP has been genuinely fantastic when it comes to my epilepsy and some previous mental health issues, I feel a bit of a misguided loyalty to them but now I'm TTC (6ish months or so now) I have a new reason to prioritise this over that.

Starting a diary today, including number of tampons, clots, pain out of 10 etc.

Thank you so much

It's so depressing isn't?

I'm going to check them out now and get a private appointment booked as a priority on Monday.

I've got a blood test for something else on monday when I'll no doubt be told yet again I'm anaemic despite taking iron tablets.

I also have a smear mid month so I will bring it up to the nurse then too, but won't wait until then to book a private appointment as this is madness now and needs sorting.

Thanks for validating how abnormal this is, it's horrible feeling you're just being a wuss when it's so awful

Oh wow that's really interesting to know. I do wonder if it's something similar as the amount of clotting seems crazy and has ramped up during the last few months.

I'll be booking a private appointment and am willing to use our emergency fund to give ourselves the best chance on that front.

I so hope you were able to conceive afterwards and congrats if so

I wanted to share a picture to show the type of blood and clot but I'm conscious that while I'm a sporner so it doesn't bother me, it may not be the done thing. As mentioned in a MN long timer and haven't name changed so I'm not a dodgy period troll. But not sure if it's ok to share on here to see if it may be something similar to you on the fibroid front?

@wellhelloitsme she has a book, which I've read and shouldn't be as good as it is. But it's so good because so few people taken women's health remotely seriously.

One patient she recounts has really stayed with me, that of a woman who was eventually admitted to A&E due to the severity of her period. Every month this woman would sit on towels in her bath because her period was so extremely heavy and yet she had no idea it was abnormal. There were cultural issues at play here, but the point she makes is that no woman should suffer excessive bleeding and it can be treated by doctors.

Never apologise for making a fuss if doctors dismiss you.

I'll have to have a read of that. We're so socialised to 'not make a fuss' aren't we?

As I say I'm lucky I work for myself and from home but if that wasn't the case and I had been on a commute to work this morning for example, I would have been (despite wearing a super tampon and towel) standing in public with blood and clots running down my legs while I tried not to faint, doubled over in pain.

And yet at the doctors I've been told I'm 'unlucky' to have heavy periods and have I tried paracetamol and gentle exercise for the pain?! Gah!

As others have said, you absolutely should not have to suffer through that and need to be investigated. If you can go private then do!

I had horrific periods too and have also had a dramatic (life changing!) improvement with Mirena coil, so might be something to think about for the future (post baby, fingers crossed!).

I noticed you said you used a super tampon - I may be preaching to the choir but have you used Lilets Ultra tampons? I went years thinking tampax super plus was as good as it got, but the ultra ones are the biggest you can get, and expand all around in a more effective way - they got me up from 30 minute tampon changes to 1.5 hours.

Also have you tried taking ibuprofen daily during your period, I noticed an improvement with it, though only slightly.

Oh wow I'm going to try those - even getting over an hour at a time would make such a difference, thank you so much for the tip.

And thank you for the good wishes, fingers crossed it's our turn soon! 🤞🏻

I always take these but doesn't seem to have made any difference unfortunately, but I appreciate the post as I'm open to any ideas at all so thank you!

That's really interesting because ibuprofen (incidentally the only thing which eases my occasional period pain) is contraindicated in people with gut conditions that cause bleeding.

Agree re lillets!
Also taking ibuprofen when you know you are due on for the first 2-3 days.

I have found the 2 female GPs I spoke to were responsive and proactively offered solutions. Not sure what options are available if you are thinking of having babies but I would definitely try and find a new GP.

I only got help after having my children. Mirena didn't work for me and I had it out. The mini pill has been wonderful. I had bad headaches for 3 months after starting but since then I had 2 v light 'periods' and that's it- life changing.

Just as a couple of people mentioned fibroids I wanted to upload a picture to see if it helps further. So...

CONTENT WARNING GRAPHIC

And I've also put a black box before the picture so you need to swipe to see it on the app as didn't want to catch people unawares!

So this was my tampon earlier after being in for 45 mins, during which I was lying down other than going to the loo to remove it. One of the clots is in the picture and there were two others, this is now normal for me - I would say I'm passing on average maybe 8-10 clots like that a day on days two and three of my period.

I just wanted to share the picture in case it leads anyone to suggest anything I haven't thought of / should specifically ask GP while I wait for a private appointment (I'll get one asap so hopefully this month).

Thanks (and sorry to squeamish people) in advance. I'm the opposite of squeamish so never know what's ok to share or not with more normal people!

I notice you haven't had a reply since posting the pic so just wanted to say I feel for you. It must be awful, I'm just going through meno now so battling with HRT but my DD(17) has awful gushing heavy periods like you and has spoiled more than one rug. What we have to endure!

That's so kind of you, thank you.

Worried I've put people off replying now as it's not the nicest of pictures!

Just desperate for any ideas and panicking about fertility as per. Will definitely book a private gynae appointment on Monday so that I can hopefully chat to someone in the next couple of weeks.

Your poor daughter too and the poor rugs that suffer with us on our period journeys! I'm double her age now and remember anything period related feeling so embarrassing back then, I really hope that's changing nowadays as it's an extra dollop of awfulness on top of the pain and blood!

I keep saying bloody hell today and that's literally what it is isn't it?!

I haven't looked at the photo.

Tranexamic Acid is another drug that can be tried I also found a mooncup better than tampax.

Thankfully mine weren't painful just gushing for a full week - I was referred for scans and had womb ablation as I'd finished having DC.

Your GP has really failed you here

I think you will find labour less painful than your periods tbh.

Have they checked your iron levels recently?

Thanks so much and yep if squeamish don't look at the pic!

Tranexamic Acid is another drug that can be tried I also found a mooncup better than tampax.

That's the alternative to mefanemic acid (which made me throw up) that my GP mentioned but then said it interacts badly with a couple of my million epilepsy meds. She was really bigging it up, said it's life changing for some women... then checked interactions and said I couldn't have it because of those and without thinking I said "oh sorry" as if it was my fault! Weird how medical settings seem to put us (or me at least) in the mode of not wanting to make a fuss when it's the exact time we should!

I always thought mooncups wouldn't work for me due to my clots but definitely willing to give anything a go at this stage.

You've all given me the kick up the arse I need to not take no for an answer when it comes to GP and to also book a private appointment with a specialist too, as time isn't on my side fertility wise and really would be just so, so thrilled to become parents.

I hear you. Go private if you can. I had similar issues and let it go on too long during Covid. I've had three myomectomies since Christmas for an enormous fibroid and my iron levels were 5, I'm on Ferrograd C now and it's made a big difference. I've a checkup with my consultant in September and then we hope to continue TTC (had a miscarriage in 2018 which may have been due to the fibroid). The very best of luck to you! My period is back to 'normal' now and it's amazing.

Oh and Ponstan and Cyclokapron made a difference too while I was waiting for the surgeries.

Always anaemic, for as long as I can remember, so I take iron tablets. Though thinking about it I've never not had low iron in blood tests, despite taking them. So not sure how much good they're doing!

And the doctor also always tells me to eat iron rich foods but when I'm losing so much blood I'm not sure the odd steak and some spinach will cut it... maybe that's me underestimating it though?

My blood test(s) tomorrow for unrelated stuff tomorrow will include iron levels so I'll be able to bring all the results along to any private appointments I have.

It does feel like because I have a few chronic things that are for the most part relatively well managed after I nearly died in an accident, the medical approach in general (probably from me as well at times tbf) has included at least it's levelled out now / could've been a lot worse / be grateful you're alive / you can only focus on one big health scare at a time.