Hysterectomy as a single parent

[yummytummy]

Hi having been on the waiting list for ages and suffering with very heavy bleeding pain etc have finally got a date for the op. So that is good but am a little anxious about recovery. am a single parent and don't have any support or family etc who could help. am really hoping kids dad will take them while i am in but after that will be on my own. i know i wont be able to drive for a while so wont be able to do school runs so will try to ask one or two school mums but this may not be every day. and then will try and prep beforehand ie do big food order, get ready meals and oven food and easy things but not sure what else i can do to prepare or help? i am worried as no idea of amount of pain after and i wont really be able to "rest" as such. also am self employed so only have 6 weeks off and it will be very tight then. am just really getting anxious. any tips greatly appreciated

Is it going to be laparoscopic? I've just had a laparoscopic hysterectomy taking tubes, ovaries and cervix, and my recovery has been remarkably easy, I was doing basic household tasks from day three, just with no heavy lifting. I stopped painkillers the day after the op, the main pain has been trapped wind, which lasted about a week. I did have a friend stay with me the first couple of days, and people lined up to feed me, but all I've really needed is being taken to the supermarket a couple of times. I am more tired than usual and plan to take four weeks off but I reckon I could work two weeks in, though most of my work is from home (self-employed too).

I made sure I was as fit as possible before the op to help recovery. I know not everyone has it as easy as I've had it (hoping not to jinx things!) but my recovery is also not unusual. There's a hysterectomy UK Facebook group you might find helpful.

Good luck!

hi thanks for your reply! glad your recovery is going well. no it has to be abdominal as the fibroids are too huge apparently! not on facebook and i found an american site but i think its all very different over there

I don’t know much about hysterectomy procedures these days. But when my mum had a hysterectomy she was a single parent. She paid a local teenager to come round two times a day to help her in and out of the bath and dress / undress and do any other little things she needed help with. She didn’t work during that time I don’t think. I was 11 so able to be self sufficient with transport etc. but she certainly wasn’t able to eg step out of the bath safely or easily for a few weeks. I guess if you had a step in shower it might be easier.

You need a good chat with dad and ask for him to have the kids for longer than you think you need.

Then chat to school mums. I had an op not too long ago and my son's best friend's mum was more than happy to help out.

their dad will only have them the minimum amount of time that i am in unfortunately and that is even after a lot of effort. the school mums i can def try.

Ah yes, abdominal is a longer recovery, though I have a friend who has one and her recovery was pretty straightforward as well. Can you afford to pay someone to come in for a bit to help you do household stuff you can't? How old are your kids?

I had a full abdominal hysterectomy in January. I stayed 3 nights after the operation as the pain was quite bad at first. Once home, I was up and about relatively quickly. The 1st week was pretty painful and took me ages to do things but manageable as long as I was regularly taking my painkillers. That's the one thing I'd say is keep taking your pain relief regularly for the 1st week.

2nd week I was feeling pretty good and I was driving by the 3rd week. Just take it as easy as possible and only do what you really have to. I was home with my 2 year old on my own pretty much as soon as I was home and found it OK but obviously didn't lift him for a little while. Good Luck!

The other thing is that people often like to be helpful, and research shows that people feel more positive towards you if they've helped you than if you've helped them. For me it's been the chance to strengthen some relationships. I was also glad that I'd prepped people in advance around what I might need, we had a pet-related emergency that I knew who I could call on because I'd had discussions in advance with friends.

Explain your situation to your medical team...they may be able to get you some help via occupational therapy/social services.

I've not had a hysterectomy but have had a keyhole oophorectomy (ovary removal) and an emergency c section.

I was comfortable within a week of the CS and driving again after 4 weeks.

The ovary surgery was very uncomfortable/sore for 24 hours or so afterwards.

What I would say is don't even hint that you feel well enough for discharge until you are 100% sure you will be OK.

How old are the DC?

thanks for tips dc are older primary so not tiny but not big either. i didnt realise social services couldhelp do i access that when in hospital? cant really afford to pay anyone tbh

I'm not sure how it would work as my experience is based on an elderly parent but hospital certainly ensured some things were put in place before he was discharged.

Maybe carers to help you first thing...it's worth asking anyway.