You have my sympathies OP. I suffered awful, painful cystic acne from about the age of 20 onwards. Some contraceptive pills helped but I never really went back on them after having my kids because I was worried about cancer risks as my Mum had breast cancer, as did some other women in my family.
I paid to see a dermatologist privately who wanted me to try Roaccutane but I just wasn’t brave enough to try it as I’d read about possible mental health side effects and already had a history of mental illness so didn’t want to go there.
The dermatologist prescribed Sprionolactone which is actually liscensed for completely different conditions (heart failure, liver scarring, high blood pressure and is even used in hormone therapy for transwomen, I believe) but it can be used to treat acne and excessive hair growth in women. It made a huge difference for me and cleared my skin up really well. I also stopped using any products containing sulphates, which I had read online might exacerbate cystic acne.
I had noticed that the cystic acne on my back fell exactly within a triangular zone where my hair falls when I wash it. It might just be a coincidence, but my back is now completely clear 99% of the time. I still get the occasional one but I can cope with that compared to how it used to be.
I stopped taking Spironolactone after 6 months or so as I was concerned about possible side effects and I don’t really like being on any medication long-term if I can avoid it. I thought I’d just see how things went with the option to go back on the drug if I needed to, but my skin has been pretty clear ever since.
I am mid-40s now so I wonder if a peri-menopausal hormone shift has actually done me a favour with regards to acne. It’s great to not have it dominating my thoughts any longer. The bad news is that acne seems to have finally cleared for me just in time for me to have lots of lines and wrinkles. It seems I was destined to never enjoy completely smooth, clear skin at any point in my life 😂
Anyway, sounds like you might be considering Roaccutane which I have heard great things about- it was just too much of a risk for me personally with my history. If you decide not to try it, you could ask about Spironolactone and see whether they think that might work for you. Good luck!