Hysterectomy at 44.. any experience?

[wings92]

Oh hey
So it turns out I have a fibroid that is 14 weeks pregnant size (small melon), and because of size and position the only sensible option is subtotal hysterectomy.

Does anyone have any experience with this?
I'm still coming to terms with the whole thing, and I can't wrap my head around the 'major operation' part. And the impact to sex. And the impact on time off from work. And all the things.

If anyone has any thoughts, experience or advice I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks Mumsnet Fam
W x

Hey

So I am 39 years old and two weeks post hysterectomy. I had everything out except for my ovaries. Mine was done laparoscopically so I was only in hospital for one night and I have been signed off work for four weeks.

The worst bit for me was immediately after the procedure as I was in pain and uncomfortable, but I was given drugs so I was fine. I’ve not needed to take any pain relief for the past week and half, but I have been taking it easy and not doing a massive amount around the house. Generally speaking, the recovery (touch wood) has been nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.

Thanks Persian, and I'm sorry to hear that you've been through it. Mine will be similar -retain ovaries and cervix but everything else goes. Laparoscopic also.
How do you feel about it; was it a shock or something god expected for a while?
I'm struggling to process my emotions - even though we had decided long ago that we wouldn't have any more children, it's still such finality.

Mine was needed due to fibroids also, so I kinda knew this would come as every other treatment option leading up to this didn’t work.

I completely understand struggling with your emotions, I was the same. I knew having the operation was the right thing to do but I struggled with the fact that I no longer would have a choice going forward in terms of childbearing. I suppose the upside for me is I will no longer have to deal with numerous Fibroids which brought on ridiculous bleeding and pain, no more being severely anaemic or having to carry around a bag full of sanitary towels the size of nappies.

Is there absolutely no alternative you can be offered such as a myomectomy? (This is also a major op but preserves the uterus and fertility).

Myomectomy was the original plan, and is what I'm on the bus waiting list for. I saw the consultant privately this week and after a scan the same day he said this is the only option - and that he would have turned me away on the day for the originally planned op. (Not mentioning thoughts on an overstretched nhs doing their best; at least I'm lucky enough to have the option of private medical through work.)

I know it's for the best and I've had a rubbish quality of life for at least 5 years - so an end to bloating, gastro problems, pelvic pain, back pain, inability to lose weight.. all of these would be amazing. Plus he said it's the size of a small melon and my fibroid +uterus is at 14 weeks pregnant.
It's got to go.

The anaemia part for you must have been awful! I've only flooded a couple of times, although both with no warning.
How have your work been about it?

I was about that age when I had a hysterectomy and removal of ovaries due to huge fibroids which were inside and outside my uterus. I have a long scar but, once I had recovered from the op, felt so much better.

I had a total hysto in my late 30s due to ovarian cancer (now in remission). I had a laparotomy so a big incision, my scar is about a foot long. I won't share experiences on recovery as if you're having laparoscopy it'll be quite different, hopefully much easier for you. I don't have any biological children (I co-parent my partner's son) and would have said I was certain I never wanted any but I admit I did feel a small amount of grief at the finality of it, which I wasn't expecting. I did feel for a while afterwards my body "felt" different which I'm sure was psychological rather than physical, I did feel like I'd lost something but I think also part of that was the shock/trauma of cancer diagnosis and then major surgery which is just all this life-changing stuff suddenly happening to you, and feeling a bit out of control and victimised, for want of a better word.

Now though I would say my quality of life is definitely improved, it is bliss to just not worry about periods which I used to have a really hard time with. Likewise not to have to take hormonal contraceptives. My tumour was similar size to your fibroid and causing me a lot of problems and discomfort long before I knew it was there, so hopefully it'll be a massive physical relief for you to be rid of that - I was more comfortable right away, even taking into account the discomfort from the surgical wound. I was also having bloating, gastro problems, weird random pains, a belly I couldn't shift - all gone straight away. It was like I'd forgotten what it was like to feel normal and suddenly rediscovered it.

Sex life-wise, I had my cervix taken out so had stitches in my vagina so no penetration for about 6 weeks, though we did external stuff much sooner. So it was only really a fairly brief interruption to normal service. I think my body knew when I was ready to do what, obviously it's very much up to you to do stuff as and when you feel ready. But I was worried I'd be out of action for months and lose a lot of intimacy with my partner but that really didn't turn out to be the case.

Good luck with everything, I'm sure it'll be fine and you'll be much much more comfortable after.