I think I've got herpes and I'm devastated

[sunflowermadness]

I just needed someone to talk to I don't even know what to think my mind is everywhere, all I know is that I'm scared.

I've been run down post covid, I get cold sores on my lips and get them quite bad but I've never had them 'down there' before.

My partner had one about two weeks ago. We had sex before and after his outbreak but I honestly thought we was in the safe zone. I have one now on my lip but thought I got it because I was run down like him.

Now, when I say run down I have been usually fluey, body aches just generally feeling shite. We all had covid three weeks ago so thought it was just the aftermath of that.

Today I woke up and felt a little sore down there, I thought I'd scratched myself or something by accident. I felt a little funny a few days ago too and wondered if it was thrush. I was in a bit of pain today so I checked it out and it did not look good. I have like a large graze on the inside of my labia which is red raw, and a cluster of small smite spots which looks alarming. We have been quite sexually active more than usual lately so as soon as I saw them I just knew.

I've rang the sexual health clinic but they can't get me in until Monday.

Obviously I've been Googling and the images look similar so I'm about 90% confident that I have genital herpes. I'm so frightened, worried about the blisters and passing it on.

I was groomed when i was younger and left with untreated chlamydia off some twat who got treated and didn't tell me for months that he had it, which spreaded to my pelvic organs and made me really poorly. I'm scared it's going to flare things up or the repercussions I'm going to have from this.

Please some words of comfort or your own experiences I don't want to feel like I'm alone in this. I'm embarrassed and kicking myself for letting this happen again, the first time I found out I had an Sti I was so young and it was awful.

I had my first bout of herpes 10 years into my marriage I was devastated embarrassed and in a huge amount of pain so first off . My GP went to great lengths to reassure me that it's not really a sexually transmitted disease and it can be latent for years and up to 90% of us have it. For me menopause and stress triggered my first outbreak and I now only get outbreaks if I eat nuts (it's a common reaction apparently). My dh has never had an outbreak though he does get cold sores occasionally. I've never had a cold sore though I understand it's the same virus. It's not an sti, it's not a reflection on you and I can guarantee lots of your friends have suffered it but it just isn't discussed in a reasonable way.

Was it really that bad the first time around? I'm so so scared of the pain. It's starting to sting when I pee and I can't even face looking down there again I feel like I need to crawl in to a hole

Sorry to hear, but try not to panic. The sexual health clinic can give you both pain relief gel and anti-viral medication that can lessen the symptoms. There is a really good herpes support charity in the UK too. Will try and find the link.

herpes.org.uk

And rest assured it is very common. I caught it about 20 years ago. The first time was painful but much milder afterwards and it hasn't come back for about 18 years now. Many people only have one attack.

@sunflowermadness I really feel for you. I caught herpes from my husband. He has cold sores, and I’m always super careful
About kissing etc when he has one. We had sex, next day cold sore appeared. Few days later I had herpes appearing over my labia. It was pretty horrific, and I was covered. I contacted a GU clinic but they didn’t respond for 48hrs, so got to the GP who swabbed it and prescribed aciclovir to help stop the outbreak in its tracks. I got some local anaesthetic gel also but couldn’t use it as they pain was just unreal. I had covid at the same time, so was luckily off work. I was bathing everyday to soothe it, on regular ibuprofen/paracetamol. It was 3/4weeks before it was totally gone. Luckily, my swab came back with HSV1 which is the one that doesn’t have as many outbreaks, it’s the oral herpes virus usually.

I have some aciclovir ready incase I start to feel a flare up. I found leaning forward to wee helps stop your urine from touching the spots, pouring warm water over yourself can help also. Loose clothing, and air the area.

It’s really common, like PP have said, it doesn’t take away that embarrassing feeling though. I was furious with my husband, I’m not sure if he appreciated how bad it really was.

Look after yourself though, it really does make you feel rubbish

Have you had a HIV test too OP? A lot of the symptoms you describe can be associated with HIV transmission too. It’s worth discussing at your appointment

@Piper90 HIV is actually very rare in the UK unless you are in a high risk group. I'm sure you meant to be helpful but I don't think the OP needs to worry about HIV just now!

@bluejelly It doesn’t matter that it is rare, there is still the possibility of transmission based on the presence of another lifelong STI and the other symptoms she reports. A lot of services will now offer HIV screening routinely, but in this case it would be prudent for the OP to ask

… to ask, if she is not offered

@sunflowermadness don’t worry - subsequent outbreaks are never as bad as the first. If it’s the HSV1 (oral) strain, you won’t get as many genital outbreaks.

Go to GP/minor injuries/a GUM clinic asap and get a prescription of Acyclovir. If you’re feeling really poorly and are in pain, call the out of hours GP tomorrow.

For the future…
Lysine (an amino acid available as a supplement) helps a bit to inhibit the virus if taken.
General nutrition and health are important - recurrences happen when you’re run down. Sometimes you can head off an outbreak with Lysine, vitamin C and some antiviral herbs, but it’s good to keep a script of Acyclovir handy.

For me, the onset of an outbreak is signalled by a flu-ey feeling and a characteristic weird, tingly sensation on the backs of my thighs. I can often head it off without developing lesions.

I know it’s horrible, but it really is very common, and it’s more of an irritant than a catastrophe (it definitely felt catastrophic at first, though).

I’ve got the type 2 strain and I’ve only ever had one outbreak. Hints of getting it again but it never really happened more than once. I was at Glastonbury when I got it - excellent! I think it was the run downness of 5 nights of minimal sleep that made me have an outbreak. I was mortified at first and thought my boyfriend (now DH) had cheated, but the doctor reassured me I’d probably had it for years without knowing. Also told how common it is. Bloody sore though, hope yours clears up soon.

Sorry don't want to derail your thread OP, but @Piper90 I'm all for regular HIV testing but I don't think it's appropriate to scare someone with a very unlikely scenario when they are clearly reeling from a big shock and in pain.
As for herpes being a lifelong STI - well not really. Most people don't get continuous, regular attacks - I haven't had one for well over a decade.
Anyway, OP, best of luck with getting fast treatment and do check out that website I posted the link to. It's very reassuring

I have it. First attack really really bad. Could hardly walk. I had to pretend to my work that I'd had a tattoo down low as I was so embarrassed.
Had another very mild attack when I was run down with tonsillitis. Apart from those 2 occasions there has been no further outbreaks in 8 years.

Hey op

Please don’t shame yourself op, these things are so much more common than we realise. I’ve been else but about infectious diseases recently and the course material said there are over 200 forms of sexually transmitted Hpv

Most of us never know we have it as it’s in and out if our system relatively quickly with no or few symptoms

As for herpes I can’t remember the amount of common strains but more than 80% of the population has at least one of them

They include chicken pox and shingles as well as cold sores and various kinds of warts

It’s just microbiology. It’s weird

You’re not any more or less if a person for contracting an illness and if you’re really doubting that it’s time to realise you’ve been judging others unfairly

Oh and don’t wait for the clinic the sooner it’s treated the better now and long term

I would call out of hours and tell them you’re in pain and get a script sent to the Pharmacy
the sooner the antivirals get in you the less change you have of repeat attacks so don’t let them make you wait

Just to say I've never had antivirals I just use cold sore cream and stop with that HIV nonsense really not necessary

I got herpes when I was 24, I’m now 41. The first outbreak was just like you describe, also a lot of very very heavy discharge.
Since then I had only one outbreak which was tingling, discharge and one small blister.
However straight after Covid I’ve just had quite a bad outbreak. I wonder if Covid wakes up dormant viruses?

Awh thank you so much I've just read through your messages and it's eased me loads. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

It's been stinging when I pee but it's only on one side, I can lean over to the other side to avoid it.

I woke up this morning and it isn't any worse than it was yesterday I was worried it would be all ulcery but it's not. Luckily I've had a cold sore on my lip the past week too and I've been taking lysine so I'm wondering if it's helped?

I work with HIV and I'm certain I don't have it I've been very thorough testing yearly in the past, and I'm certain my partner has not been cheating or anything to pass anything on. I'm not worried about that but I'll take up the full screening tests when i go on Monday.

I think I scared myself silly the other night reading horror stories and looking at pictures and I wasn't in a good place, I feel a bit better today due to me not being in more pain than yesterday. What a horrible thing to have to go through!

@bluejelly thank you for the link I really appreciate it

You're very welcome... I hope it passes quickly for you and doesn't recur. Glad you are feeling less freaked out over all. When I first caught it I was reassured by the though that it was very common and there were likely millions of people living with it. I also worried it would ruin my sex life forever, but honestly it hasn't at all

Just a note - not sure if you’re planning on any future pregnancies but I told my midwife about mine and was given antibiotics in the last 4 weeks of pregnancy to prevent any breakouts so I didn’t pass the virus on to baby at birth. I didn’t have a vaginal birth in the end anyway but just worth noting.

Just an update for those who are interested...

I went to the clinic tonight. After freaking out over it on Friday it turns out it started to 'calm down' through the weekend, no mad blister outbreak which I was fearing but the little bumps deserved leaving just redness and mild itching by Sunday. The cold sore on my mouth isn't swollen now either and has just scabbed.
The nurses were so so so lovely, and I was there for over an hour whilst they checked me out and calmed my fears. They explained that I had probably had it for a while and never known about it, and due to the fact I have had Oral HSV 1 since a child, the worst of the symptoms appear on my face and because of that only mildly down there at times, and because I'm so run down j just had more of a flare up than usual which was noticeable. She checked me out and said I was probably coming down from the worst of it.

She said whether I got tested for it was up to me, but she was confident that if I had had the oral for 30 years more than likely It has spread and manifested down there at some point and my body is used to it enough not for it to be too aggressive elsewhere (which makes sense, I've had it on my nose and next to my eye before now which was horrible but only once!). We also agreed that a diagnosis wasnt actually going to make a difference. For a genital outbreak so mild and short lived they wouldn't usually prescribe antiretrovirals. And the fact I'm in a long term partnership who has them orally also. She said the type 1 being oral and type 2 being genital was a bit outdated too, I have type 1 antibodies and it wasn't unusual for the genital swabs to come back as type 1 (I never knew this!) She also said you do something called 'shedding' for days before an oral outbreak anyway so if you are regularly sexually actively it's very common to pass it on genitally and a lot of people are asymptomatic or that mild that they wouldn't really notice.

I also got tested for everything else too whilst I was there. It was a bit of an eye opener and I feel relieved, I am happy with just accepting that yes I might get some indication of an outbreak genitally and I feel grateful that it's not too aggressive either.

I’m glad to hear you’ve been reassured by the nurse OP. Herpes is very common, but there’s a lot of misinformation!

Take 1000mg daily and double it if you go abroad- big changes in temperature can trigger the virus. You can also double it if you fill the tingle of an outbreak coming on. Top up with antiviral cream. Don’t take any supplements with argenine in- it’s another amino acid but that one will encourage the virus.