Herpes

[kathykath]

Can anyone help please? My 17 year old daughter is suicidal and I don’t know how to help her. She got HSV1 on her genitals from her first boyfriend and then on her hand 6 weeks ago. Since then, the genitals have healed but the hand has had 2 further outbreaks and now she thinks she’s getting one on her lips. One of the reasons she is so upset is because when she first saw the doctor he said that she wouldn’t get it in other places after the initial outbreak and that after the first outbreak she may not even get a recurrence. So now, because she has had continual hand outbreaks and seems to be getting new ones on her lips, she doesn’t trust the doctors and she’s terrified that she will be in non stop outbreaks for the rest of her life. I assume that’s not how this virus works (please please any reassurance would be lovely) and that people don’t have permanent outbreaks. She’s been on 5x200mg aciclovir for 6 weeks now. Plus taking 3000mg of lysine a day. She says she wants to give up. I just don't know how to help her. It's impossible to see a doctor and anyway other than the aciclovir I'm not sure there's anything else she can do. Feeling very sad

Poor girl. Is she doing everything she can to boost her health so that's she's got a chance of fighting it? Things like eating properly, good sleep and staying of drink and drugs can make an amazing difference.

This is terribly sad and so hard for a young person to cope with, especially if they feel like it’s their own fault they got infected. Some types of herpes are very virulent and cause awful outbreaks while others barely do anything. My neighbour had a strain of herpes that caused her whole face and neck to swell up at least twice a year. Whereas my mum has herpes and it just causes a little scab on her lip.

It’s really impossible to say what the long term effects can be. I’m still shocked that we aren’t able to cure it yet! Unfortunately some people who have a particularly bad strain do need to be on long term medication to suppress it. I think the main thing to emphasise is that it isn’t her fault and she can still live a normal life even if the meds end up being permanent.

Do talk to Papyrus about her suicidal thoughts as well. This must be incredibly difficult for you

Please do a search. There are a load of fairly recent threads. Please tell her that it's a normal thing to catch for anyone sexually active. Normal! Not pleasant but so so so many people either know they have it or have it dormant and don't realise. She will be totally fine. It's a non event. First few outbreaks suck but it will ease off. I had two outbreaks the first year and none the next 16 years! I never think about it. It has zero affect on my life.

Your poor dd😭 Thinking its a big issue. She has nothing to feel ashamed or scared of.

Poor girl! If it’s any consolation to her, I caught it 16 years ago, also HSV-1 on genitals, and once that cleared up I never had another outbreak. Really horrid for a couple of weeks and was devastated, but once that had resolved itself I was fine.

If she has just had the vaccine, anecdotally that does trigger an outbreak in some people. Doesn’t mean it will happen regularly.

Thank you all for your replies. And for the link to Papyrus.
Still feeling so confused and upset about the spreading of the infection. So hard to see a doctor.

Still feeling so confused and upset about the spreading of the infection. So hard to see a doctor

Is it just on her hands or is she still suffering with it on her genitals? If she is, has she tried booking into the local Sexual Health Clinic? They're probably better at dealing with it than a GP abs she probably needs testing anyway if he's given her herpes

It WILL get better. Her body will mount an immune defence and get better at suppressing the virus over time.

It's healed on her genitals but is on both hands, her lips and her foot now. I'm worried that this is a sign that there is something wrong with her immune system.

But hopefully it's just that her body needs time to build the antibodies. It doesn't help that she has quite bad eczema so I'm wondering if that's contributing to the outbreaks.

@kathykath

It's healed on her genitals but is on both hands, her lips and her foot now. I'm worried that this is a sign that there is something wrong with her immune system.

But hopefully it's just that her body needs time to build the antibodies. It doesn't help that she has quite bad eczema so I'm wondering if that's contributing to the outbreaks.

I can't figure out to sent a pm but I have some info if you want to pm me

I second the suggestion to book into sexual health clinic. They really know about Herpes, much more so than a general doctor.
I have both types - HSV1 on lips which haven't recurred for over 20yrs now, and HSV2 courtesy of ex which does recur every now and then and more often when I'm tired, stressed or run down. It is very unusual for outbreaks to happen in multiple locations so I would say the sexual health people are needed so that she can understand what is happening. Poor love

@Sherryandbright I think I've PM'd you-- not very tech competent - but I think you have to do it via the webpage rather than using the app

Thank you to others who have suggested a sexual health clinic, I will try booking her into one

Sorry I know this is an old post but I just wanted to comment as this was me at her age and I thought my life was over. I had a horrible first outbreak, if she has another painful outbreak you can ask the doctor for lidocaine gel to put on the area. Also most doctors will give you a supply of aciclivor to take at the first sign of outbreak. Mine always started with a tingle in a random area on my thigh so tell her to watch for that. I’ve gone on to have two healthy pregnancies and natural deliveries and healthy babies please tell her it’s okay. Her being stressed won’t be helping the outbreaks ❤️