Sex after an episiotomy

[Chri89]

I had an episiotomy and forceps 8 weeks ago and even though my stitches are fine and I feel perfectly normal, sex is super painful (and I have a high threshold for pain). How long did it take you guys to have painless sex after an episiotomy and do you have any advice on how to go about it?
P.S. What’s even weirder is that I don’t feel any pain where my stitches are. All the pain is on the other side, but I didn’t tear anywhere else. I just don’t get it!

It took me about 4 months. The only advice I'd give is slowly, gently, and carefully. DP was present at the birth and still fairly shocked I think so he was pretty tentative too.

Do perennial massage snd in the area it hurts for ten minutes a day with lube, even Vaseline. I saw mine get pretty much completely better after not being able to have full arc for 6 months!!! Went private gynaecologist expecting them to say Botox or surgery and they suggested this snd it worked wonders. Everything completely normal again.

I remember reading that daily gentle massage on the area will help. Try it with a little bit of unscented natural oil like sweet almond or grapeseed. 8 weeks isn't long to heal from that. Be gentle with yourself.

I would wait longer than 8 weeks!
You need to completly heal.

Thank you all! I thought that I would need more than 6 weeks for sure but my GP made it sound like it should all be in working order by now. It’s good to know I’m not broken! Haha! I will start massaging the area and fingers crossed it will help!

I didnt have any tearing or an episiotomy and sex was not the same for about 1 year.

For the first few months my vagina seemed so tight or just painful at the entrance that it wasn't even possible to penetrate very far or for long. It became ok after 6-9 months.

1 year after birth I ended up going to a women's health specialist physio and she suggested yes yes yes lube for sex and taking it super slow. I also think the gentle exercises we did to get rid of my distasi recti also helped my pelvic floor (I needed to wee frequently).

She also suggested sitting/rolling around on one of those spikey softish sensory balls but I never ended up doing that.

Not sure how you have the time for sex after 8 weeks 😅

I found it painful for about 5-6 months but now find sex better than before 🙈.

@EL1984 haha! I surprised myself too! Honestly I thought there would never be time but somehow it just happened! 🤷🏻‍♀️
I hope that the lube and massage will help. I’m not in a hurry or anything! I just want to make sure there isn’t anything wrong with me.

@bluebird3 Ah! That’s definitely good news! Fingers crossed! Haha!

6 months and still very painful

Mine wasn't actually sore in the early days (we had sex about ten days later!) but now my kids are older it aches where the cut was before my period. Like I've been kicked by a horse!

I had scar tissue and had to have an operation called a Fentons procedure to have it fixed.

I wish I'd I'd gone to the GP earlier but I just kept thinking it needed time.

No harm in having it checked.

2 and a half years after a double episiotomy ! Then I had 2 Fentons procedures and cosmetic surgery!! So don't suffer too long and get it checked if it continues for any length of time.

About 18 months and I needed help from a women's physio. Sex was sooo painful.

Oh! I’m so sorry to hear you were in pain for a long time and needed a procedure done. Thanks for letting me know your experiences. I think I’ll try to massage the area for now as it’s still early days and go to the GP if I hit 6 months and still in pain. It’s crazy how they don’t tell you that this strong pain can last for so long when you get an episiotomy!