I’ve had problems for years and years downstairs, been back and forth to GP and hospital since childhood . Diagnosed at nineteen with vaginismus and then at 27 with PTSD as a result of everything . Never had sex or anything like that, can’t have smears without difficulty .
I’ve never been able to use tampons, I couldn’t bring myself to go near that part of my body and felt physically sick when I tried - tried once or twice and had such horrendous pain that I thought no point bothering, and even manages to get the bloody applicator caught once (pain unlike any other) . Always felt somehow inadequate and a bit stupid for not being able to do it iyswim . Hate using pads as they’re so uncomfortable and usually bring me out in a rash - GP thought maybe hidradentis as always come out in boils - but sort of resigned myself to it just being that way, something I’d put up with each month .
Until the last few weeks .. I had trauma informed therapy for the PTSD for the last nine months and a lot of difficulties have settled … I’ve suddenly been able to do it - use tampons - I am so, so chuffed; no pain at all - so much more convenient too .
First time I’ve ever felt in control of that part of my body - I’m 30 - and that I don’t dread having a period !
I feel daft being chuffed with myself and obviously can’t tell anyone in real life but I’m so enormously relieved !