Herpes

[spaghettisoup]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

My doctor thinks I might have genital herpes and I'm absolutely devastated. I feel totally crushed by it and have no one to talk to. Waiting for a swab result.

My symptoms are red, itchy spots on the vagina but no other symptoms.

Could it be anything else?

How do I cope with this? I've been with DH for 11 years and had a few partners before that but always used protection.

I am so anxious and want to be sick. Please help me. Thank you.

Does your dh get cold sores?
Oral Herpes can be passed to the genital area through oral sex too

Although herpes normally involved blisters I think

Thanks for your reply @dementedpixie.

No neither of us do. The only real symptom I have is the bumps on the vagina.

I have them. The mental stigma is fucking awful, the stigma of other people is awful.

The reality is nothing.

I have had one coldsore down there. That’s it. Over 4 years now. Zero symptoms other than that.

It’s just the coldsore virus in a different location HSV1 likes to hang around the lips HSV2 the gentians but BOTH can be transferred to the other and we don’t stigmatise or make people talk about it that have oral Herpes. In fact most people don’t even know it’s herpes.

80% or carriers don’t know they have it either orally or genitally so could be passing it around easily.

Hence over 90% of the population has it orally.

Around 25% genitally (indicative of taking children and those less sexually active out of the pool!).

60%+ of new genital cases are HSV1 and that’s because of increase in oral sex.

It’s a nothing. It’s really a nothing. Made BIG news by US media and pharma companies making money from antivirals. No one cared before that, it’s been recorded back in Socrates days (not joking).

So symptom wise you are likely to have had it forever and just not known.

The mental stigma however is both unfair and traumatising I’m afraid.

That isn’t by the way to take away from the experience of those that unfortunately get awful coldsore outbreaks on the lips/gentials, even on the eyes or arms or anywhere the skin could have been “broken”. Some people are unlucky, it’s minimal and can happen with any virus of the immune system is low. But antivirals can help in that situation.

I'm probably a carrier of oral herpes of some description as my mum gets them as do of my siblings and so does dh. I have never had one myself but have been with dh nearly 30 years.

Thanks @PatchyTwat and @dementedpixie
Really appreciate your replies.

I hope this doesn’t come off as dismissive, but it’s only a mild skin disease.
Of course there is stigma but I think that’s more to do with the fact they’re a life long condition rather than anything else. There are no real health implications that other STDs have.
I find it utterly bizarre that there is such shaming for some blisters on your private area when people walk around with the exact same ones on their faces without the same stigma.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken not dismissive at all. I need talking down tbh as I'm just a complete state for some reason. It's been very helpful to hear these perspectives and it's reassuring me. Thank you.

See it annoys me it’s even called an STD, or that STDs are stigmatised.

If I kiss someone and they get an oral coldsore it’s not an STD no stigma. If I give oral sex and give them the exact same thing in another place all of a sudden it’s shock horror dirty.

We need to stop stigmatising sex, we don’t hate and judge someone for giving our child chickenpox unknowingly from a hug, but that snuggles down and lives in your system forever and can recur as shingles. Ditto Epstein Barr that we all carry and causes Mono, both of those things have far more serious illnesses associated than a minor skin irritation but no judgement.

@PatchyTwat

See it annoys me it’s even called an STD, or that STDs are stigmatised.

If I kiss someone and they get an oral coldsore it’s not an STD no stigma. If I give oral sex and give them the exact same thing in another place all of a sudden it’s shock horror dirty.

We need to stop stigmatising sex, we don’t hate and judge someone for giving our child chickenpox unknowingly from a hug, but that snuggles down and lives in your system forever and can recur as shingles. Ditto Epstein Barr that we all carry and causes Mono, both of those things have far more serious illnesses associated than a minor skin irritation but no judgement.

I totally agree! I think anyone who makes a judgement on people with a mild skin affliction aren’t people whose opinion I would value anyway! I’m sure it’s a shock OP, but you’ll gain some perspective as that wears off. How has your husband taken it? X

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken he's been wonderful. It's not confirmed yet so feel very up in the air.

I agree with all of these points. @PatchyTwat do you ever experience vaginal dryness with it? That's what's causing me most of the discomfort but I thought that was due to me still breastfeeding.

If it helps, it's really common. Hope you're ok.

I also have it and have had it for 12 years.
I get the little bumps also and theyre sore to touch and slowly spread.
Fingers crossed the doctors tell you its nothing but if you have got it its so easy to treat.
I have tablets on prescription that clear it up very quickly.
Outbreaks can vary from one a year to one every few months.

Everyone on here is right though, i get so embarrassed about it when noone should really, its so easy to pass.
Good luck though, but try not to worry