Endometriosis - how can a husband help

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Hi Everyone,

I was looking for some advice from those that will know the subject far, far better than I do. My wife has recently been diagnosed with Endometriosis, after she has suspected that she may have it for about 14 years. It has recently got much worse, and we are booked in for a surgical consultation soon [there was no need for a laparoscopy as it was large enough to be identified from an ultrasound].

My question is - how do I help? I'm obviously there for support, and the benefit of lockdown for us is that I've been able to be here constantly, and I provide a constant flow of hot water bottles - the trouble is, is that my wife is quite stubborn, and quite tough - I'm sure I could be doing more but I think she's trying to be as little of a burden as possible. Is there anything that anyone can suggest I could do mroe to help?

Thank you.

This is brilliant! Your wife is very lucky.
As a fellow sufferer I would say belong with medical appointments and attending if she wants you to, or just being there for support after the appointment. These were the big moments for me when I realised that I was not well and it is quite scary to think of surgery to solve the problem.
The condition fluctuates a lot so checking in if it’s a really bad day or a better day is good too and seeing how you can help her on a bad day would be great in my opinion.
Wishing you and your wife well

How lovely you are thinking in this way. I also have endo that was seen on scans, I then had surgery to have it cut out and I’ve been so much better since and also managed to conceive shortly after surgery.

Is she in pain all the time? Or specific times? I would just do what you can to make her life easier around the house etc so she can rest etc if she has pain. I would push for her to be seen by a BSGE surgeon these are the best. See if you can get this done via private health - I did and had all things sorted in a matter of weeks.

Sorry to pry but do you have children? One big worry for her if you don’t like me is the worry of not being able to conceive so maybe just see if she will open up and talk with you.

Thank you - we're off to see a private surgeon soon to see what out options are. No kids [yet] but will be asking about this at the same time as we are going through fertility treatment too - it never rains but it pours!

Hi! I was diagnosed with endo last summer (July 2020) and had surgery in November 2020. My partner was really supportive from a practical point of view post surgery, helping me wash after surgery and making food, cleaning the house, food shopping etc etc. From an emotional stand point, I've found it really helpful that he recognises when I'm not doing so well, he'll check in with me and ask me how my pain is when he knows I'm on my period. I often get very tired and he never puts loads of pressure on me to be out doing things all the time.
Other things that would be helpful for me personally is understanding a good amount about endo, taking time to read about how the disease works/progresses.

I also go through phases where I don't want to talk about it at all because it can be so overwhelming and other times I do want to talk about it so it's just being aware that people with endo can end up having a lot of 'endo stuff' thrown in their faces all the time and we don't always want to think about it 😅