HPV - worried about the future

[irishoak]

I'm due a smear test soon (will be booking one tomorrow morning) but my mind is just running away with me, so stressed and worried...

My first smear tests were clear, but the last one I had around four years ago (I think) came back with abnormal cells. I hadn't been very sexually active, but had started seeing my husband shortly before this abnormal smear (after a long dry spell!). I was sent to the consultant for a procedure with iodine, he said everything was fine, but as I left the room the nurses told me I had HPV. Tbh, I didn't really know what it was at the time, they seemed in a hurry to get me out, and I felt really worried and ashamed, so I just left it, as the doctor said I was fine.

Anyway, a few years down the line, my husband develops a wart on his genitals. After asking about it, he tells me that actually he had a genital wart outbreak years ago, and got them frozen off with nitrogen by a doctor. My husband was emotionally abusive and a bully, so wouldn't entertain any conversation about this. I'm so upset thinking about how he didn't tell me before we slept together or when I was so worried about the abnormal cells and the possibility of cancer. We've split up now, thank god, which brings me to my current worry...

I've started thinking about dating again and with the smear test coming up it hit me - is the HPV something I should tell a future partner about? Do I still have it? I never had any warts, just the abnormal cells, so do I have a different strain to the one my husband had? It's not an STD, or so the internet says, but it feels like it kind of is? Can anyone who knows more about it all explain it to me? I'm just so upset and worried thinking about it all. My husband messed up my head so much, and the thought that he's now messed me up physically too is really distressing. I just want the possibility of a happy future with someone, but this feels like something that puts it even further out of reach.

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Hi @irishoak, sorry you are feeling so stressed out about this, I didn’t want to read and run.

The HPV virus is extremely common, most people who are sexually active will have the virus at some point if they haven’t received the vaccine (and even some people who have had the vaccine also).

I believe there are 30 or 40 different strains of HPV, I think strains 16 and 18 are the high risk strains that cause cervical cell changes, and strains 6 and 11 cause most cases of genital warts.

Sometimes we will be carrying a strain of HPV and display no symptoms so we wouldn’t even know.

So, no, I don’t think that you would have to tell any potential partner about having HPV and cell changes if you didn’t want to. I would only think you would need to have the conversation if you had genital warts and were undergoing treatment for them as they may need to be treated too.

Sorry to hear that you had an abusive ex, you will most likely find that if you ever enter a healthy relationship, then it shouldn’t even be a worry talking to a partner about things like this.

I don’t know if you will still have HPV. You will probably find out from your smear results as they test for this first now before running cytology for cell changes in a lot of places.

I certainly wouldn't tell any partners
Like pp said it's so common most of us will have it at some point and most ppl will never know
I wish there was more education on hpv
The cancer causing hpv and genital wart hpv are different strains .
Hpv can stay in the body for decades and flare up even after clear smears . This has happened to me . 2 hpv neg smears. With h for 8 year . And then hpv+ last year . Hopefully it piss off in its own this time but I had cells removed 13 years ago

@SherbetLemon713 @fedup078 thank you both for posting - I'd really worked myself up last night and felt so down about it all. I've got the smear test booked for tomorrow, so hopefully can talk to the doctor about it too.

The part that worries me is the genital warts - like I said, my husband had them, but I've never developed any. I think that means I don't have that strain, or that my body has fought it off, but I'd hate to pass that on to somebody and for them to develop warts.

Hey op, i had a similar situation, diagnosed with hpv then partner developed warts, we split shortly after.

However, most people forget that your body clears it. At my subsequent smear test there was no trace of hpv.

Please try not to worry, if you have a new partner use condoms until you have the all clear.

By the way sounds like your body has already cleared it!

@bubblebath62636 Thank you so much for sharing about your experience - I'm waiting on the results from my smear test now, so I'm really hopeful that it will have cleared itself like yours.