Back to work with stomach issues, anxiety and panic attacks

[sheebs2018]

Morning everyone, looking for some advice and a handhold.

So after being off since the beginning of lockdown I am returning to work in the morning. I love my job, although anxious at returning to full time work after the time off I do look forward to it. I work as a nursery nurse, in Ireland.

I've suffered with stomach problems (doc says IBS) and panic attacks since my late teens, one triggering the other, I am 28 now. Have tried fodmap diet, elimination diet to rule out lactose intolerance, coeliac etc, have had colonoscopy and endoscopy both with clear results. It's unpredictable, I could eat a big greasy burger and chips and be fine, or I could have a normal 'safe' days eating and still suffer, there really is no pattern and I haven't ever identified any one food or food group that affects me. The past few days (TMI alert), I have been waking up doubled over in pain, loose stools, cramps, fatigued. Just a really bad flare up, my stomach wasnt great during the lockdown but I suppose as I was on a slower pace of life and no commitments I just rolled with it. I am now panicking so much about having to deal with this every morning before work, as it is I give myself 3 hours in the morning to try and "empty" myself before I have to leave but this method isn't foolproof. I am now in such a state of panic I can't eat, haven't slept, my period is late all because I am so worked up.

I love my job and want to get back to normality but I am now so afraid of getting up 5 mornings a week not knowing how I'll feel, if I am not in and out to the toilet I've headaches, or else severe cramping that amounts to nothing, and just generally exhausted both physically and mentally.

I don't know what I wanted to achieve by posting this perhaps just some advice as to how others have managed their IBS symptoms in stressful times and some reassurance, I've spent all this morning crying and panicking to the extent it's hard to breathe at times, when I should be out enjoying my last day off. :(

I am watching this as am very similar. In order to leave for work at 7.30am, I have to get up and be sat on the loo at 4.30am.

No point getting on and off toilet as, if I try to get off and then walking around doubled over in pain. Takes 2 hours to “clear” to an extent, often I eventually give in and take loperamide after 2 hours as I need to be getting ready plus DC get really grumpy with me as they want the bathroom and then an hour to get bathed (I need a bath as feel so grotty, sweating with the cramps etc), dressed etc. I don’t eat anything until mid afternoon as that makes it a lot worse.

The routine is lousy, as sitting in pain, sweating with cramps for two hours a day is not fun. I also get very anxious about when it will finish as I can’t be late for work.

There is also the issue of how tired I am. I am getting about about 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night. Having to be up so early takes several alarm clocks and I feel so headachey every morning.

If I am particularly bad, then I get attacks at night too, and am also up during the night for a couple of hours, so can be down to working on about two hours sleep.

Have been like this for 30 years now, but it does seems to be getting worse as I get older. Have been told it is just IBS too. Occasionally I get a good week and my life is so much more straightforward.

It is a cycle of being ill, and being stressed about being ill. It isn’t just pain, to some extent you can grit your teeth and push through pain. I cannot push through the sweating, diarrhoea and continues gas coming out though. Or the feeling sick and dizzy with the lack of sleep. I ended up passed out on the bathroom floor one morning after a bad few days, I fainted on the toilet. Luckily I came too and after a few minutes of laying there was able to get myself up and clean up before DC found me.

When at home for the day it takes away the anxiety about it being over in time to get ready to get out. Still feel rough, but am not clock watching and thinking “How much longer?”

Sorry, so am not giving you any solutions here, just sympathy and understanding.

@JazzleRazzle sympathy is appreciated and sent back to you also I could've written your post myself have been in all of those situations myself, only you are a true superhero to do all that with children. I have no children myself, just a big mumsnet fan have gotten great advice here before.

I was a big loperamide fan before, I slowly weaned myself off it as I was afraid of becoming immune to it but I will not leave the house without it. I am also on meberverine (sp) an antispasmodic, acidophilus probiotics, buscopan.

@sheebs2018 @JazzleRazzle hello huns I have this every time I have to leave the house which is a lot now as son has started school my gp has just put me on beta blockers to try and help, I will be trying my first one tomorrow, maybe have a look into them and see if they will help you? I'm praying they help as for the full days 5 days a week I can't eat or leave the toilet I pretty much have to get through a panic attack on the way to school incase I need the loo (20 min walk there&back) and then the same at 2:30i generally cannot live life like this :(its so bad that I just don't want to take him to school as I get so bad, I've been poorly this week and I'm actually happy I'm ill as haven't had to go out :( il let you know if they work :/