Long recovery from childbirth

[AnxiousFTM]

I had my daughter 10 months ago now, had a traumatic 80hour labour, she was back to back, epidural, forceps and 3rd degree tear.

Anyway, 10 months on I’m still not feeling good. Putting aside the mental issues where I replay it all thinking that if I had just not had the epidural I would have been able to push properly, no forceps, no tear etc etc, I still don’t feel right down there.

I’ve been diagnosed with a mild bladder prolapse (luckily no incontinence) and been seeing a NHS womens health physio but she hasn’t really helped. I also suspect a bowel prolapse as can’t really push to go to the toilet.

Everything still feels gapey and saggy down there, if I press against my skin down around my vagina/bum it feels so tender and sore inside, like its still all swollen and bruised. Even if I sit on a hard surface like in the bath it is tender. Surely I shouldn’t still be bruised after all this time? Theres nothing external, no infection etc, its more like the muscles/bones. I’ve just started massaging the area but I hate touching down there.

I also can feel something pulling whenever I lean forwards and back up again, its so frustrating as I can’t actually pin point what it is I can feel if its the scar pulling, or the prolapse. I’ve been told that my scar has healed well though, but I wonder if thats just the external part. If I move in a certain way I get a shooting pain in my pubic bone.

The gynae I saw basically said its about getting used to a new normal and I can’t expect things to be as they were after a baby has come out, she reluctantly referred me on to the physio. At my physio appts she monitors my strength of doing a pelvic floor but thats all, when I tell her my other symptoms she just looks blankly at me and has now referred me back to my GP.

I just wondered if anyone else has had a long recovery from childbirth or after 10 months is this it and how I will likely be forever?

After years of infertility and numerous IVF cycle I would like to start ttc number 2 soon but while i feel this way there is no chance of that and I am constantly aware of the clock ticking x

I think it’s normal to feel different (second degree tear, kiwi cup here) but what you are describing is saying you feel so different it’s affecting your life really. Push the gp, is your gp a man?

I would push for a second opinion OP with different doctors. Think I would look for a private physio as well to see what they think. Your gynae sounds incredibly insensitive if I’m honest, yes things won’t go back to what they were like pre-baby but you absolutely shouldn’t have to accept you must live in constant pain and discomfort.

I had my baby 10 months ago and also had forceps. Don’t have massive advice just to say I think ( and hoping) it just takes time. My area still feels baggy and when I exercise feels like air is going in and like their is something there. Also tender to touch and just generally uncomfortable feels funny after a bowel movement. Went to doctors in January told everything looked fine but just doesn’t feel fine.
I’ve been googling pelvic floor videos so trying that before going back to doctors. I had 6 goes at ivf so the thought of more gyne appointments puts me off.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I also had a forceps delivery and was left with a bladder, bowel and uterine prolapse. Can I ask if you're still breastfeeding? If you are, you have low oestrogen as breastfeeding suppresses the release the oestrogen. Oestrogen makes a huge difference to prolapses. When you have lots of oestrogen it thickens and strengthens your vaginal walls so the other organs don't bulge in to the vagina so much. It's why many women only notice their prolapses after menopause when oestrogen drops. I stopped breastfeeding at 11 months and it was only then that things started to feel normal again. The prolapses just stopped causing symptoms and I was almost unaware I had them. It's now 9 years since I had DD and I still have prolapses but I'm still hardly aware of them. Regarding bowel movements - I know this is a bit gross but it helps if you put your fingers in to your vagina and push against the back wall. It really helps get the poo out! Even if you have stopped breastfeeding I've read it can take 2 years for the vagina to heal up after childbirth so it will keep improving. Obviously there are treatment options for prolapses but I haven't needed them yet. Maybe after menopause!

Thanks for your replies, it makes me feel a little better knowing I’m not alone. Its more frustrating that I don’t even know what is causing the discomfort, the scar or the prolapse.
Did you massage your scar and if so, what with? I’m not sure if its too late at this stage for it even to help soften things up. I don’t have a scar line, its more the whole area feels tender and the tissue feels much thicker.
I’m also thinking about buying a kegal8 but it is a lot of money if its not going to help.

I meant to add that I’m not breastfeeding x

I’m 2 years post and don’t think my vagina changed much it’s still A LOT bigger than it was, so sex is crap.

Bowel and bladder problems resolved after 1 year.