Pain down there

[Rnh1993]

This might be tmi for some so if lady bits talk isn’t for you I’d probably skip this. I’m at my wits end and I’m lost on what to do next. Also it’s a really long post as I want to make sure I’ve covered it properly.

Bit of backstory, my ex was the only guy I’ve slept with. We met in February 2014 things were fine until the Aug/Sept of that year. When we had sex it was painful, I thought maybe the pill was doing it, so we tried lube but that didn’t help much and I reacted to petty much nearly all of them. I then thought it was where he was a bit rough, so got him to slow it down and it still hurt. I went to the doctor and had the worst check up experience of my life. It was excruciatingly painful, the nurse just ran the contraption under the tap and shoved it in. The swab results came back normal but yet I was still in so much pain. After what happened there though I didn’t want to see a GP so for years I put off going, instead I just pretended to my ex that it wasn’t painful and got on with it. I had my daughter in the 2016 and it became worse. Here’s a bit of tmi. I tore and they had to stitch me up as well as developing piles, the sort that come out when you sit on the loo or squat for too long. Except it feels like they are in my vagina too at the entrance, although I don’t even know if that’s possible! Fast forward to last year, I went back to a GP at a new surgery, she was lovely and I couldn’t fault her. I told her about all the problems, the pain during sex, the feeling of my womb being pulled when I have a period or when I’m squatting on the floor, I also told her about the piles and what felt like them in my vagina, either that or lumps. She swabbed me, checked me over inside and said she could feel anything. The results came back and again there was nothing serious that they could see. This was September time, so I lost all hope. I’ve suddenly started developing lots of signs for PCOS, but when I mentioned that all I got was a maybe from the doctor and it was left at that. Obviously visiting a GP is impossible at the minute so I’m just a sitting duck waiting to grab an appointment.
I don’t know what is wrong with me and it’s made me so depressed, it ruined my relationship with my ex and made us break up, now I’m sitting here thinking I’m never going to be able to have sex with anyone again, so s relationship is never going to come about.
My body is allergic to absolutely everything too which hasn’t help and also doesn’t help when it comes to trying lubes, etc. I’ve just had enough and would just like a normal sex life as this has gone on for too long now :/

Sorry that it’s so long winded, if you’ve made it this far, I absolutely owe you a large gin! X

You ultimately need to see a gynaecologist and your GP should refer you on rather than just mess around in ignorance and further wasting time doing swabs.

Swabs do not detect endometriosis if it is there and endometriosis can be a cause of deep pain during sex. That is the first thing I thought of when reading your post. This is usually only diagnosed through a keyhole surgery op called a laparoscopy. It all warrants specialist investigation.

Thank you I thought it could be that as well as many symptoms of pcos. I have suggested both to the gp but they didn’t say they’d give me an appointment to get it checked. It’s made me feel so low as I know I will never find anyone because of it now.

My symptoms are
Painful sex
Pain on the opening of my vagina and what feels like piles inside of it. Also hurts when I touch there
Irregular periods at times(can be monthly then the next minute I’ve not had one for 2 months plus)
developed skin tags on my eyelid.
Excessive hair grown, I mean honestly I look like a man now!
Acne still at the age of 26
Weight gain and struggling to get rid of it.
Period cramping randomly happening.
The pulling sensation inside when squatting down
Excessive discharge to the point I have to change a pad frequently, sometimes has a slightly strong odour and is a greenish/clear colour.

I’ve listed all those above to the GP, but they weren’t helpful in the slightest I found. X

It does read like both PCOS and endometriosis could be diagnosed here but you really do need to see a gynaecologist in order for that to happen. Again the GP should refer you on.

I was diagnosed with both PCOS and endometriosis and both have co-existed quite happily. In my case the PCOS caused the irregular periods and problems with weight whilst the endo caused the painful periods.

The greenish discharge is probably BV; this can be treated so please do not leave this for it to potentially get worse.

Please seek medical attention from a GP ( and find someone who actually listens; have a chaperone with you if needed to give you some moral support).

It sounds like you have vulvodynia, possibly caused by oversensitive vulvar nerves. Try using lidocaine ointment (a topical anaesthetic) before sex to numb the pain, you can get 2% strength over the counter and 5% strength on prescription. The Pill can also cause pain, and you can get a compounded hormone cream that can treat it. Dr Andrew Goldstein and Dr Irwin Goldstein have written a great book called ‘When Sex Hurts’ which discusses the many different causes of vulvodynia (nerves/tight pelvic muscles/hormones/autoimmune diseases/irritants such as washing detergents & soaps) and how to treat them.

You need to see a gynaecologist/vulvar pain specialist. The Vulval Pain Society website has more information, including a list of UK vulval clinics. There is help for this.

A great lube for sensitive skin is Pjur Original, it’s silicone based and is safe to use with condoms.