Is this normal? Nurse said it was (embarrassing)

[7thlevelofthecandycaneforest]

Sorry this is embarrassing but I thought fellow ladies might be able to help!

I’ve been having problems with the skin of my vulva for as long as I can remember. The skin cracks really easily. Every time I have sex I get a cut like a paper cut in the same place and there is visible scar tissue now. I don’t have children.

I’ve seen 2 doctors before but the advice was bio oil and ‘stretching’ and it was embarrassing so I had to work myself up do going back (3 years later).

I saw the nurse and without looking she said it is perfectly normal and there is nothing to be done. I said I’m worried because we want to have children in the near future and if sex cuts me then I dread to think what giving birth will do! She said that will happen anyway and shrugged. She recommended ‘moisturiser’ which I eventually realised was lube but I use that already which doesn’t really help.

I really don’t think this is normal but I can’t seem to get anyone to take me seriously. I was even considering paying for a private gynaecologist but will feel really silly if it’s normal.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there some wonder cream I can get?

I have this sometimes since my last baby but I've never mentioned it to anyone.

There is a thing called- I think - vaginal atrophy that is usually menopause related and is treated with oestrogen cream. I'm no expert but I wouldn't say tearing labia is particularly normal pre menopause and I'd go to the doctor and get it checked out.

Sorry but I don't know anything about this particular problem. Just wanted to sympathise, I hate how medical professionals dismiss women's health issues like this. Just because something is relatively common/not pathological certainly doesn't make it NORMAL.

I had a different issue with my vulva. It was chronic and irritating and I was dismissed and belittled by doctors. Years later I diagnosed myself by trawling through medical textbooks. The condition I have is actually starting to be recognised so NOW doctors will actually take it seriously and try to ameliorate the symptoms. After I suffered for 15 years. My advice is research it yourself and/or insist on a referral to a specialist. Good luck

Could be vulval dermatitis, you’ve ticked a few of the boxes for that so it might be worth a google/discussion with a different GP/referral to dermatology rather than gynae.
And no, that nurse was wrong, it’s certainly not usual for a woman’s vulva to crack and tear and nor should she have to accept that answer.

Thank you for all your answers it’s so reassuring to see that I’m not making a fuss over nothing! I will have a google and see if I can work out what it could be. The vulval dermatitis is interesting it definitely could be that.

Consider lichen sclerosis too. Mine manifested as a repeated little ‘cut’ or tear in the same place-as tho I’d caught it with a nail.

My sister has this...it's eczema! She has to treat it with moisturisers I think, like Diprobase

Please don’t be embarrassed op - this is a vital bit of your body!

I agree with those saying drs are too ready to say it’s just something you have to live with when it’s women’s health related

I get a paper cut on the edge of the pubis often and I'm no where near menopause, it's a thin part and just comes with the territory!

Which bit of your skin is ‘cutting’? Do you mean the perineum? So a small bit of skin at the bottom of the entrance of the your vagina? Sorry to spell it out so much and possibly come across as patronising, but your mention of worry about childbirth makes me think you’re talking about this area. If you are, then that is very common and annoying but no cause for concern and won’t have any bearing on your ability to give birth or the type of tear you’ll sustain.

Another one here saying lichen sclerosis. Go back to your GP about it.

I had something similar, it turned out to be a teeny skin tag right at the entrance so to speak. If it got caught it’d tear a little bit of skin like a cut n if it got rubbed it’d be painful too.

Nothing was ever done, I was told I could technically have it removed but it might reform and I’d only get a numbing option not knocked out.. so I just left it.

Childbirth actually fixed it though as I was cut for forceps and however they’ve stuck me back together it’s gone.. not that I’m recommending pushing anything out of you to get it fixed. I did have to push for someone to actually look at me though not just ahh you need to use plenty lube, relax, stretches, foreplay etc..

I’ve had this in the past along with other issues. Nothing to be embarrassed about. I’ve had 2 children and while I had a small tear with first (1 stitch) nothing with the next. So I don’t think you need to worry about childbirth.

I found lube during sex helped. And I mean a lot of lube. Not just a squirt, it had to be loads! And then no problem unless the sex was rough. Might be worth a try if it’s not something you usually do.

I get exactly what @DottyandOtty is describing - so the skin seems tighter at the bottom of the Vulva (vaginal opening), towards perineum. Certain partners, or positions cause it to tear - like a paper cut. What I tend to do is immediately apply cool water on cotton wool to cleanse area (often put some salt in the water), then straight away put some canesten cream on. I've had it badly before & used Neosporin cream as it has numbing agent too.

Didn't have vaginal delivery, so no advice on it affecting that.

The amount of medics, including women, who dismiss really important things like this boils my piss. That sounds really uncomfortable OP and they should help - ask for a second opinion. I have eczema on my arms - v v common but no one has never dismissed it as normal (though in many ways it is) they prescribe me creams and when they don’t work the prescribe other things until they hit what does work. But the second it’s vaginal the shortshrift comes out. Very very unfair on you!

It looks like there could be a number of causes, OP. I've certainly never had that. Another one that comes to mind is a thyroid problem. I think you should insist on seeing a doctor.

I get this too. Every now and then I get cuts. Asked my GP and she recommended using emollient instead of soap/shower gel. I used Diprobase and it did actually work. Would definitely recommend.
Also I've had 3 kids and no tears giving birth so I don't think the two are connected. I had the same fear!

I have this. Mine is Lichen Planus. I have it in my vulva and also orally. If you suffer from recurring mouth ulcers too you might be the same. They are often linked. I was diagnosed by my dentist, read up on it and mentioned to my doctor that I had this issue and wondered if I also had it in my vulva and she agreed it was highly likely. It is an autoimmune disorder. There are creams you can get that will help.