Vagina swelling and bowel moments after birth

[Shefliesonherownwings]

I gave birth vaginally almost a month ago. I had a second degree tear which was stitched by the midwife.

Devastatingly my DD was stillborn. Since the birth I know my diet has been bad. DH and I have eaten a lot of convenience foods and sugar, neither of us has had the energy or willing to cook whilst we deal with our grief.

However, I am struggling with going to the toilet. Sorry if this is TMI but I have developed piles. They're not terrible or that painful and I have been treating with cream. I've also upped my fibre intake to try to keep things soft and regular. The problem is that whilst I'm getting the urge to go, when I'm on the loo, it feels like my muscles aren't doing anything to help things along. I'm having to do a lot of pushing to get anything out. It's not painful but i dont want to keep straining so much with the piles.

I'm also still quite sore and swollen in my vagina which isn't helping with the pushing as it is u comfortable. My bleeding has almost stopped and my stitches have come out but I'm worried the swelling still feels quite significant, even just walking around I can feel it.

Is this all normal? DH and I are thinking of trying again in the new year, once I'm recovered and we feel ready mentally but I'm worried I should be feeling more back to normal by now with the swelling and bowel movements. Has anyone had the same issues and did they clear up by the 6 week check?

Sorry to hear about your loss.

It took around 6 weeks for the swelling to go down with my first labour (3rd degree tear). And I got awful piles, which took a long time to heal. I thought I would be like it for ever, as I was so so swollen.

The swelling eased after 6 weeks, but I spent a lot of that time sitting on ice packs. Lactalose was the best thing for the constipation, and did actually work. I also found holding a pad against the tear when I strained did help.

So sorry to hear this OP As for the bowels, I had the same for 2 months or so, I felt like I had no control, and couldn't 'push' or anything; thankfully all went back to normal. It might be worth getting it checked out though if you are worried and can face it. I found thick pads with spray really helped it to be less sore.

The lack of control and not being able to push, might be a result of experiencing some damage to the pelvic floor muscles during delivery.

Although it is difficult, please don't push hard, hold your breath or strain for a bowel movement. You need to invest in a stool to raise your feet and knees up when you're on the loo. This will line everything up a bit better and make it easier to go. Also start eating more fruit and veg, or, if you haven't quite got it in you at the moment, look at prune juice or similar.

Be very clear at your 6 week check about all your symptoms and don't be put off if you feel you need further help.

I'm so sorry for your loss

Thank you all, I have increased my fibre but probably not enough. To be honest it's a struggle to eat and drink much at the moment, I know I definitely need to drink more though. I will try the ice packs, I think if the swelling improves that may help the bowel movements. I tried lactulose but it didn't do much for me.

I am desperate to just feel better to be honest, I think it will help my mental health if I feel physically ok and can get back to some exercise for example. Plus knowing things were back to normal would help with planning for the future. Thank you all for the advice.