Mourning loss of pre-baby body

[HerbalEssences]

My DD is almost 7 months old and I am still really struggling with coming to terms with my new body. It all started just after childbirth. The list of issues includes but isn't limited to the following:

• my joints hurt to the extent that I feel like a ninety year old woman. I moan getting up from the couch and squatting down and getting up from the floor with DD is agony. My knees even hurt when I get up from the toilet.
• my back hurts from dealing with DD all day
• my scar from the episiotomy still hurts whenever there is pressure against it. I cannot ride a bike any longer, my period just returned and even trying to insert tampons is painful, so you can imagine sex is totally off the table.
• As I'm still breastfeeding, I'm really struggling with my weight. I weigh more now than I did at 9 months pregnant (73 kg to be exact.... 15kg more than my original weight). It also doesn't help that with all the joint pains I am less active than I used to be.
• my breasts are totally lop sided, as due to one nipple being very flat, I have only been able to breastfeed on one side and pumping the other isn't helping much.
• I have stretch marks all over my legs and stomach
• passing stool is excruciating and I bleed almost every time (sorry for the TMI)
• My hair is suddenly extremely thin

-whenever I get a bit active etc. I feel the urge to pee and have to seek the toilet

• My urine stream goes in a different angle/direction than it used to, which really annoys me as it is making squatting in public restrooms difficult and I generally feel like I can't get used to the new pee angle.

As mentioned, this is not even an exhaustive list, but I am really struggling to come to terms with this new version of "me". I used to be so proud of the fact that at 30 I was still able to do a back flip and the splits, and now I feel like even normal day to day stuff is difficult.
I have been to my GP about the joints as well as my numb thumb and index finger from where I had a cannula inserted during labour, as well as a few other things, but the GPs all just say things like these are post birth conditions I just have to live with, or I should just exercise through the pain (5 months of trying to exercise through the pain and it has got worse rather than better).

Is anyone else also struggling like me? I feel so miserable and I hate my new body and I feel like nobody around me gets it.

I get you, OP.
I have some of these PP gifts and a few others as well. I used to lift and was very lean, but gained 4st in pregnancy.
Currently 12 weeks PP and 2st to go. My joints are slowly getting better, my EMCS scar still hurts, my cervix is so low sex is too painful to attempt. I look pretty unkempt compared to my previous polished self.

I manage by telling myself I’ll have time to recover later, and in the meantime do the following:
Eat mostly clean
Take Pregnacare New Mum
Follow my day- and nighttime facial routine
Apply Bio Oil after shower whenever I can
Do pelvic floor exercises and stomach vacuums a few times a day
Built a home gym in the hope to start using it soon - starting next week will do fasted cardio first thing in the morning, and at the 6mo mark will start lifting again

I also made a list with all the grooming I’ll have before returning to work stuff like haircut & colour, pedicure, eyebrows, etc

It’s going to be okay

I had the lopsided breast thing due to feeding on one side only. I used to wear a chicken fillet thing on the other side to try and even it out. Or a scarf to hide it (also acted as a cover when feeding). After weaning they are now roughly the same size but that size is tiny. I have just accepted it and try to be glad I can get away with a comfy bra let instead of needing a bra. But I do know other women who have saved up for a breast enhancement after completing their family.

Have you raised the tampon/sex pain with your GP? I had CS so not sure what your recovery time is meant to be but maybe you need checking out?

More time will help, I felt more like myself about a year after DS1 was born. Sadly I didn't get to enjoy that long as I got pregnant again straight away.

Start small OP. A good vitamin and omega oil will help your joints (Asda do an own brand BF / pregnancy vitamin which is loads cheaper than Pregnacare). Look at your diet to see if the loo issues are because of a lack of veg and fibre, in part.

Ask to speak to a practice nurse at your GP and ask what you can do about the episiotomy. You should be able to ride bikes etc. Tell them you want your body back, not in terms of lithe limbs and flat stomaches, but being able to exercise is completely reasonable.

Thanks for your kind words. Just knowing there are others out there makes me feel much better. I am trying to do what I can myself, but I just feel like the healthcare professionals and even family members, like my DP or DM etc. just aren't taking me seriously.

Do you get any time to yourself? I remember when DS1 was that age my DH encouraged me to go out for meals with my NCT friends every so often. My DS would sleep for a 3 hour chunk at the start of the night so enough time for a meal and a couple of drinks. My friend had a Velcro baby so her DH would drive round and round for a few hours to keep their DD asleep!

Your DP needs to support you x

I think you need time. It took a good year before my joints returned to normal.

I remember going to the dr a few weeks post partum as I thought I had swelling on my stomach and was mortified when I was told it was just fat! I cried and cried when I got home.
I changed my diet gradually and lowered my calories,I lost 2 stone over 18 months,it can be done x

I am foreign in the UK and haven't lived here long enough to have made any friends. We don't have any family around either. My partner works most of the time, but when he can he will take DD so I can have a nap. I've not slept more than 5 hours a night since DD was born, the first 3 months I was averaging 3 hours a night due to having to express milk etc. However, in 2 weeks I will be back at work, so will have my lunch breaks to myself, although I might use them to nip into the nursery to see DD, as I'll hardly see her otherwise. I just wish I felt better about myself before rejoining the world of work.
And again, thank you all for your kind words. I really needed to hear them.

OP I was you back when my son was born and it took me two years to get back to my normal. Some parts of the body will never be what they used to be (nothing is as firm any more around the hips/lower waist as I feel the skin sort of stretched with pregnancy) but I largely feel myself again. I slowly did yoga and Pilates from about 4 months after birth. Gentle classes at first and building up. I also saw a physiotherapist for my bad back and she gave me some exercises . Slowly my body started 'remembering' its past self. It didn't happen overnight, in fact took over 2 years for me, but you can get there. Just take it easy and be kind to your body. It went through big changes. Oh and I was late 30s, so not that young. It's possible!