female sterilisation

[BlingLoving]

Another thread has got me thinking about this. We have 2 DC. I'm mid 40s. There will be NO MORE CHILDREN.

I can't take hormone contraceptives of any form. DH refuses to get a vasectomy. So we are using condoms.

I find it very stressful. a) I'm not wild about condoms (although I can suck that up) and b) I worry CONSTANTLY about getting pregnant by mistake. A 3rd baby is just not something I'm prepared for and I don't want to have a termination if I got pregnant, but I honestly don't think i would be able to go through with the pregnancy.

So, I'm starting to consider sterilisation. the reason I've never considered it previously is because after PCOS, fertility treatment and 2 difficult pregnancies as well as some previous health issues (pre kids), I feel like I've been poked and prodded enough and have done about as much anaesthetic as any one person needs to do in their lifetime. The thought of surgery, drugs etc does not appeal. I have come through every other surgery with flying colours, healing quickly and easily, but some deep weirdly superstitious part of me suspects my good luck can't hold out (to put this in perspective, I had 4 or 5 full anaesthetics over a 2 year period when I was ill pre children. Also optional surgery in my 20s for breast reduction. And as a teen had full anaesthetic for appendix and wisdom teeth removals. So it's not like I haven't had my fair share of medical interventions).

If you've gone through sterilisation, can you talk me through it please?

Had op on a Mon. Back myself by Thur. Back to office job following Mon. Havent looked back and peace mind is great. Hormone contraceptives didnt agree with me.

@WLAH I am self employed so will need to take that into consideration I guess. But I'm assuming I could keep an eye on emails etc without too much problem and just try to pick a time that works.

This idea is now completely in my head.

Yes I would been able check emails

My periods are heavy since but they were heavy pre contraceptive days anyhow so not sure that's related to sterilisation

I had sterilisation and endometrial ablation on a Thursday. Very quick recovery - went home that evening and was up and about the next day. No gas or bloating, no terrible pain, no issues with stitches.

I worked from home the following week without any issues - I probably could have gone in but didn't fancy it.

It's lovely not having to think about contraception. And it was easier in my area for me to get sterilised, mid-30s having had kids, then it would have been for DH to get a vasectomy.

Best thing I ever did. I've had 14 major surgeries and getting my tubes tied was a breeze.

I was sterilised a few years ago. Dp said he would get a vasectomy, but after about a year or more of him still not sorting it out, and me not thinking thats the sort of thing you hassle someone into, i just organised my own. It was straightforward. No complications. In and out the same day.

Following! Though I’m beginning to get frustrated with my DP for not having the snip....two babies and BF, his turn!

Periods change between your 40’s and 50’s when they hopefully stop. So don’t let the myth that tubal ligation affects your periods dissuade you.
I had it done after a 3rd c/s. The sense of relief, not likely to become pregnant again was amazing.

Sorry not blaming sterilisation on my periods

I was sterilised. Apart from having to stay a few hours longer as I was quite woozy after anaesthetic I was home the same day.
Was quite sore for about 5 days. Apart from that all is good. I was worried about getting pregnant again as I was so ill I couldn’t have coped but also didn’t want to have to terminate. Dh was a wuss about a vasectomy.

Had my tubes removed a few years ago at the age of 34, although not in the UK so guess that makes a difference as it was at my request. Felt absolutely fine within a couple of days and it's not affected my periods. Well worth it for the worry free sex! From threads I've read on here, drs can be very reluctant to do it, so make sure you are prepared for them to recommend the Mirena or other long term contraception instead. Good luck

Had the op when I was in having dd. No extra pain or anything like that. Still have periods.

I made an appointment with my GP to discuss. She had a cancellation so am seeing her next week. Thanks all. My ONLY concern is yet another surgery/medical procedure but I think that's a minor issue and getting it done will make me much happier as DH won't consider a vasectomy.

plus he can wait on me hand and foot for a few days while I recover

I was sterilised last November - it was my first GA but it was fine. The worst part was the gas retention after the surgery but like others I was all fine and dandy pretty quickly. The relief is immense.

I would have preferred DP to have the snip but after going through all the worst case scenarios there were circumstances where he would have more DC (and he'd have loved us to have another together too), whereas for me another pregnancy was a massive no in all circumstances. I was pretty fucked off with his refusal TBH. Anyway, now it's done it's great to know that whatever happens my contraception is sorted, it can't be undone by divorce or death.

@mmebufo To be honest, I do feel a bit irritated that DH won't have one. But, at the end of the day, it's his body and he gets to decide. And he's not willing to do it. He's terrified of side effects/long term damage. And has some feelings about it all being part of his manliness (eye roll).

whatever. He has complete body autonomy. Obviously. But so do I and I honestly can't stand the worry about being pregnant any more. I had a condom break once with a one night stand. And honestly, if it can happen once, it can happen again!!!!

Following this too. I've got my first hospital appointment in September. Can't wait!! DH has said that he would be willing to have the snip but he probably wouldn't have gotten around to it. Anyway, I prefer the idea of myself being in control over my own contraception.

Yeah, DH came out with all that wimpy shite felt that way too. I did a lot of tongue biting because it is indeed his choice. The risks of long term complications for men aren't insignificant - not that they were for pregnancy or birth either. Still.

In retrospect I'm glad I had it done myself. The endless anxiety about unplanned pregnancy and the constant (pointless) poas were too much for me. Once it was done it was done, no waiting for clear tests or risk of spontaneous repair. Just sorted. I'm glad to be 100% certain I'll never have to worry about contraception ever again.

Oh. Also. I'm not in the UK, there is/was a less invasive procedure for female sterilisation called

Sorry

...called Essure. I don't know if it is still offered in the UK but it's banned over here. Do. Not. Have. That. Done.

I had clips (filshie I think) put in during my last c -section. I had normal 28 days cycles after my periods returned and no extra pain.

BUT.....I was unlucky enough to fall pregnant around the 2 year mark. I didn't realise and had gone for a scan because of pain and irregular bleeding. It thankfully was just an empty sac that didn't go. It has left me a little paranoid to say the least. I was just unlucky though and I think sterilisation is generally a great thing!

Thanks all. I've booked an appointment with my GP and will go see her. Just haven't mentioned it to DH yet. Not sure why. I think I want all the info before I discuss with him. Obviously, he doesn't get a say in the same way I don't about him getting a vasectomy but I do want to talk to him about it.