I know that people go for years waiting to be taken seriously and I realise that I have been extremely lucky. This is going to be long because I don't want to miss anything.
But I am so fed up with this shit now. It's having a huge impact on my life and that of my children. I have been on bedrest since the beginning of December because of this bullshit. My MH was already fucked and now it's worsening (yes I am getting additional support from this).
The pain is often unbearable (on oramorph, dihydrocodeine and paracetamol). On tranexamic tabs which should, in reality, be short term on the max dose. Plus max norethisterone and iron tabs. My Mh meds have also had to be increased. Had the Mirena fitted at the beginning of December and was quickly removed after it made things worse. And then there's the ovary that's so fucking painful. The withdrawal when I don't need pain relief.
I am spending an absolute fortune on sanpro,incontinence pull-ups and bedpads because of the flow. I'm losing weight because there are days I cannot eat because of the swelling of my womb. I go for a piss every 10/20 minutes because the swelling is pushing on everything so I only dribble. I often get kidney pain because you guessed it my bastard womb is pressing on it. End of November I was a size 12, now when there is no swelling I am an 8, swelling days I am an 18 and look 9 months pregnant. Bad days I have to get cabs as I cannot walk far without wanting to pass out. More fucking money on clothes.
Then there are the hospital admissions because I end up dehydrated (even though I drink litres a day - side effect to meds). Infections, fevers, pain and low iron resulting in transfusions. I am often admitted because of Tachycardia - no shit, I am in fucking pain. And the painful, painful examinations they have to do, I have a very high pain threshold and these have me in tears. And of course the painful insertion of catheters to empty my bladder.
Most days I cannot walk up and down my own fucking stairs because I either don't have the energy or I am very short of breath. My kids have had to step up and be my fucking carer, something they very very rarely did when my Mh has been as it's lowest. My iron is currently at 86 and I get weekly tests to monitor this.
This 'cycle' started on the 16th December. I was so fucking happy on Friday when it ended. Finally a break from the discomfort of daily sanpro and a relief to my pocket.
And sex. Or lack of it. I am so fucking frustrated. I haven't had any since the end of November. I have a huge drive, always have and a week without was always hard. But there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Now there isn't, well until Friday when I was jumping for joy. Finally, I can fuck right and made plans for tonight. Last night I had some fun alone time. I woke up during the night and cried as I had to shower and so the fucking cycle begins. Bleeding from a fucking orgasm, I didn't even have the joy of full sex.
The gp can be hit and miss. I recently had a breakdown in the surgery after they fucked about with the meds. My DD ended going in on my behalf and saying - look she needs the meds otherwise she will bleed to death. They are of course concerned because longterm I shouldn't be on these meds.
The gp tells me to phone the gynae secretary. Which I do but there is no update to the waiting list for March/April to have the bastard removed. Like I said I know I am lucky that I am being taken seriously, and placed on the waiting list. But I cannot go on and need advice on what to say, or how to get this bastard gone sooner rather than later. Is there anything I can say to get it sorted or do I have to just continue hoping that I don't have to go back in for another week at least? The last time I walked out of the hospital at 3 am, drip attached, although I didn't get far as I nearly passed out and was helped back by an a&e nurse who was on a break.
I am desperate and cannot go on. My bad mh days I think fuck it, it would be easier to go and so back with the crisis team and all they can do is write to the gynae department about the detrimental impact it's having on my mh. Which has been stable for a long time and all my coping methods to not sh aren't working.
Can any of you helpful people please offer advice of how to push myself up the list. I know it's selfish of me. But I'm really desperate and need help.
Thank you for reading.