Scared of seeing gynaecologist

[mollpop]

I've got a gynaecologist appointment in a couple of weeks and I'm terrified. I cancelled my last appointment because I was just too scared to go. But I know I have to.

The gynaecologist is a man and I'm terrified. Last time I saw a male gynaecologist I couldn't stop crying while he was trying to examine me.

He was perfectly professional, but I've had and things happen to me in the past and I can't cope with it.
All I being stupid? I just don't know what to do 😢😢

I've thought about asking for a female gynaecologist but I'm scared of the hospital asking why

Didn't want to read and run OP.. this is a perfectly normal and reasonable request. My understanding is that this happens frequently so no-one will be at all surprised or irritated. Do not cancel your appointment - much, much better for you to be seen. I don't think the hospital will ask why - I think they're not supposed to do this, and even if someone should ask, just say "it's personal" and leave it at that.

Sympathies and . And no, you're absolutely not being stupid. You have every right to ask for a female consultant.

Thank you. I know I have to go, just really way about it. But you're right, even if they ask it's none of their business!

Have you had counselling and support around the past history you mentioned? Is that wroth thinking about?

The female doctor thing- well, it depends if there is one available. There may not be one at the hospital who is experienced in what you are being referred for.

FWIW I have had male and female gynaes examine me. My current gynae is a man and couldn't be nicer. Some women drs are actually a bit insensitive at times. But it sounds as if you might need to talk about this with a counselling professional?

Why are you going? Is it urgent or can it wait?
It's fairly normal for women to request being examined by a female. I don't think they would raise eyebrows at that. If you need to be seen urgently though I would just see anyone, as waiting might cause harm.

My gynae is male but had a female nurse in with him while I was examined. He could not have been better. A female gynae I saw 2 years ago was too rough, dismissive and unpleasant and left me very upset. In my mind I don’t think their treatment and skill is down to gender, although I understand you have had a frightening experience in your past that is putting you off. Please don’t put off going but do let the hospital know that you are nervous. They will be very sympathetic xx

You can always call the secretary and ask if you can see a female doctor, although you might have to wait longer.
Otherwise, there may be a nurse who is able to carry out the physical part of the exam.

I am sure they will find you a female gynae to talk to - don't forget they are professionals and they see all sorts of things every day, so don't be embarrassed.

The first gynae I saw was a man - he was great, really understanding and a real gentleman. While he was examining me, he was pressing on my tummy and said "Horse rider. I can tell by the muscles!" and then proceeded to wiggle my tummy as if to demonstrate. The nurse who was chaperoning just rolled her eyes and smiled - it was obviously his party trick as two of my friends also saw him and he did the same with them - both riders too!

My current one is female and she's very abrupt and can be a bit rough - an "Ouch, that hurt" reminds her to be a bit more gentle!